Comments on: How not to let annoying people annoy you

By: Sasson

Sasson — Sun, 06 May 2012 20:23:43 +0000

Expressing Anger may be difficult if you were taught to soothe over conflicts or to defer to others’ feelings. Recognize when these ‘old’ lessons have you stuffing and stifling your anger. Pleasing others at your own expense is not kind or peaceful. It’s violence to your own psyche.
ANGER IS GOD’S GIFT, part of the essence of your humanity, a response you need to survive and to thrive physically and emotionally. Use your anger to protect and preserve your true self.
Anger is a signal – that your rights have been violated, your needs aren’t being met, you’re compromising yourself in some way, an injustice has been done. Let anger be a catalyst to learn more about yourself and to create change for the better.
There will be times when expressing your anger will be extremely difficult and painful. The outcome may be uncertain; you may be risking great change in your relationship. But, just as God gives you anger to protect yourself, God provides courage to take the action your anger demands. Your courage is within you. Ask God to help you find it.
Determine what you can do; decide your priorities, change your behavior in a relationship from which you suffer, address your own unmet needs. Then express your feelings and take further actions.
Changing a problem situation usually takes more than one confrontation with another or more than one instance of different behavior from your part.
Be persistent. Be resolute.

By: jassybae

jassybae — Sat, 05 May 2012 18:03:07 +0000

She is annoying. Cut her off. She is suking the life out of you. If you can’t be bothered you can’t be bothered

By: natasha

natasha — Wed, 02 May 2012 14:07:46 +0000

I have a flatmate, with whom ive been friends with for years, that decided that she wanted to move in with me at the begining of this year. I was so undecided about it because I knew that although i do really think that she is a lovely girl, she just knows how to push my buttons. I was going to tell her no, because i didnt want to loose my cool with her and loose her as a friend,but she went behind my back and asked the landlord who let her move in straight away.
I already knew that part of the reason was me letting myself get annoyed and arguing back so I decided to make a change, and when ever she would correct me or told me i was wrong about something I would let it slide and just think ‘oh well thats just her’ but lately with months of ‘letting it slide’, my anger at her has just built up.
I cant take it anymore, when im in a bad mood with her ive been trying to walk away and take myself out of the equation but she follows me now. I lock my bed room door and 5 secs later shes knocking on it asking me whats wrong.
Should I tell her? Im really scared that I am going to lash out at her one day.

By: Bella

Bella — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 17:50:54 +0000

Maria, my two cents … it sounds like she wants to be “friendly”, but for some reason, she’s unable to be “friends”. That can happen when two people are really different.

I tend to overreact around people who are intense. I think it has a lot to do with my upbringing. All my family members were pretty quiet people. But, when my dad went ballistic, it was terrorizing. I quickly began to gauge his mood when he got home from work. “Is it safe or not?” If he started beating on the boys because their room was dirty, I’d rush to clean up my room, cower in my bed, or try to stay out of the way. That has made me VERY tuned into my environment.
If someone is having a bad day, I feel it. If someone makes an intense phone call from the office, I feel it. If a salesperson approaches me and they’re too loud, I feel intimidated and overwhelmed.

As I see it, you have a few choices….

Share with her exactly what you shared with us, one-on-one, and see if her response is adequate enough for you to trust her again. Though, I wouldn’t throw all your caution to the wind. Take your time as you both rebuild that trust.

Limit the time you spend with her… no breaks, no lunches, no walks, no long-drawn-out talks.

Ask your boss if you can sit elsewhere. That might allow you the space you need to think things through.

Whatever you do, try to keep the issue between you and her. Involving other co-workers too often makes the issue messier.

Another option, which often works for me, cause I can get so caught up in the emotions…. Imagine someone you love deeply is going through the same situation. Imagine they came to you for advice. How would you counsel them?

By: Maria

Maria — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 22:47:27 +0000

My co worker was almost my best friend until just before Christmas when she emailed me while sat beside me and said “from now our friendship is purely work based”. Then when she was about to become a grandmother she told everyone she would text me and then didnt. She was pretty full on for the 7 months we worked together – buying us both fruit to eat, suggesting things to do outside work. It all came from her and then she told me I am “too intense”!!! I have been trying to keep her at arms length ever since but she seems to try and make friendly conversation every now and then. I just see it as trying to use me as someone to talk to. She has never apologised or explained her actions. I am not very responsive when she trys to talk because I no longer trust her. How do I let her know that I want to keep the convo purely work related without having to tell her out straight? I find it irritating when she tries to be friendly after what she has done. If she genuinely wanted to still be friends would she not apogise?

By: Bella

Bella — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 19:15:18 +0000

It’s tough. Everytime I get involved and try to “fix” things or set things straight, it comes back to bite me. Unfortunately, when I get involved, I somehow, to some degree, become “part of the problem”. Maybe not in the boss’s eyes, but when the offended party takes it to the rumor mill and puts their spin on it… it comes back to bite me. Friendships are damaged. My reputation suffers.

Looking back, what would I do differently? I’d not pretend I was friends with the person(s) I had a problem with. And if I could muster up the courage I’d say, “When you sit at your desk and shoot the breeze with me, while everyone in the office is working their butts off, I feel like we’re stealing from the company.” “I’m here to work. I’m getting paid to work. When I come in and all you want to do is shoot the breeze, I feel like I’m stealing from the company.” Surely that would have been enough to let the person know that I didn’t want to chat with them 20-30 minutes each morning about some non-business crap.

My advice… try to maintain your work ethic and integrity throughout this process. Don’t lower yourself to their level. The boss may see what’s going on? You never know. And pray that God would intervene. Read about Joseph, Jacob’s son. He was buffeted and betrayed by nearly everyone he knew. But he maintained his integrity and as a result, he was elevated and promoted, beyond his imagination.

By: Jared

Jared — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 04:42:13 +0000

This is horrible advice. A lot of the “wisdom” above simply encourages you to sit there and take a beating. I’m the odd man out on a 3-man team in an I.T shop. The other 2 guys kiss up to the manager while sabotaging my work and constantly setting landminds for me to walk into. Having someone constantly screw you over and demean you is frustratrating at a 40 hr per week job.
“8: Instead of getting mad at annoying people – feel sorry for them”

OK, Let’s say I decide to feel sorry for one of the guys who constantly leaves me holding the bag. He’s in a position of power over me (in the awful office only) and he abuses it. Feeling sorry for him will do nothing to change the crappy situation I’m in. In fact, it will only serve to perpetuate it. Sometimes when you’re in a corner, you must figure out a way to fight back.

By: d-rex

d-rex — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 02:36:29 +0000

“The vast majority of people you meet at work are nice, caring and considerate. They go out of their way to be polite, they help if they can and they truly care about the well-being of people around them.”

That’s BS. The vast majority are just jerks who will do anything within their (tiny) power to get other people to do THEIR work. Especially the women. They are always happy to dump all their work on your desk while they go off and call their boyfriend or whoever on their cell. Another type is the one who acts offended when you don’t want to kiss their ass. You will meet very few people who are worthwhile at work.

By: Gord

Gord — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 19:29:03 +0000

Sorry but this is a rather idealistic article. The best strategy is to not get mad? Tell you what… I will loan my coworker to the author of this article and we’ll see how long it takes before the auther strangles my coworker! I would give it a day and a half.

A coworker that unapologetically comes late to work by 15 – 20 minutes habitually although he only lives 15 minutes away!

A coworker that is constantly criticizing everyone and everything but flys into a rage if he even perceives negative feedback.

A coworker that has already been reprimanded many times over for unprofessional conduct including being haughty to people and made a female coworker cry with his insensitive remarks.

A coworker that overtly eats while talking on the phone on work related matters with people!

A coworker who constantly makes politically incorrect references to race and female gender but then accuses people of harassment when his work is criticized.

A coworker who is constantly booking appointments during the middle of the work day and doesn’t come back, or calls in sick if he has a case of the sniffles leaving others to carry the workload.

A coworker who is talking to his wife on the phone in a belittling way in the workplace.

A coworker who thinks nothing of his loud cel phone ringtone and that it may be disturbing others?

A coworker constantly mooching from people (even overtly asking people for a sample of their food or lunch) or gluttonously taking offerings of cookies and candy coworkers bring to share but NEVER offering anything back in return.

Um, yeah, just ignore it and don’t get mad, huh? Easier said than done.

By: When You Have Annoying Co-workers | Call Center Cares

When You Have Annoying Co-workers | Call Center Cares — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 06:54:02 +0000

[...] smashing the headset in front of that person. Remind yourself that he’s the one that has an annoying act. And if you’re going to level with him, you will also look goofy as [...]