A woman came into my office and went off on me during the tension of year end activity. I started yelling back at her and we both ended up in the bosses office when he returned the next day. He chastised both of us for our unprofessional behavior. I felt outraged that I was treated the same as her after she attacked me but could not say a thing because I had lost my cool. I vowed this would not happen again.

This was a bitter unhappy woman who they had isolated with filing cabinets from the rest of the staff in the department.

The next year she went off again but this time just I calmly asked her to leave my office and complain to the boss. I had to repeat my calm request many times but she finally left.

The next day when the boss came in I told him that “his girl had gone off on me again” He kind of dismissed it. Later that morning he came into my office and apologized for not taking me seriously. The office manager had giving him chapter and verse of the event and she was very complimentary of my behavior.

I have to say I felt great. I did not allow myself to be drag down to her level. You can only control your own behavior not other people.

A thought on carrying a grudge. There is a saying that

“Carrying a grudge is like taking poison and hoping the other person will die”

If you stay quiet and calm and peaceful in front and in face of a person who has NO APPRECIATION whatsoever of such qualities– and even worse– mistakes such qualities as WEAKNESS— than with such a person you are left with NO OTHER ALTERNATIVE but to “speak their {arrogant} language” and have them ‘back off’ and respect your boundaries, if be and if it comes to that, in a forcible way.
Personally, I will admit to having an ‘anger problem’. But like the commentator called ‘nobody’ wrote above, I have also experienced, personally speaking, that keeping the anger bottled in and controlled, can be— not always— but many times, destructive for the person doing so. Venting out is a release. Venting out anger releases it. I agree with Alex, that you may often re-live this anger-episode because it was so emotionally distrubing… but, how about it being more disturbing, if you keep remembering how the episode made you angry– and you never responded? Doesn’t that make you feel un-human? Un-emotional? What if you keep remembering that episode with that terrible feeling of regret; saying to yourself: “I should had responded so-and so… How did I remain quiet and docile, when I should had stood up for myself (or someone else)?”— “Why did I NOT act when acting mattered?”

This is my 50 cent. Anger, like all emotions, is yet another feeling that has been planted into us, humans, by God. God certainly had a good reason for planting — yes, even anger– into us. It (anger) allows you to hold on to yourself and your values, to make your boundaries, make other people respect them and know them. Anger is destructive too, I know this too. But not having anger, or stifling it/ignoring it at some times, is no good thing either.

I’d be happy to know what any of you think about my assesments.
Thank you and God bless.