Is happiness the most? An ancient debate revisited!
I received a very interesting and erudite comment that addresses some of the fundamentals of happiness – both at work and in general.
The commenter also wildly disagrees with me on these fundamental issues – which only made me really happy. In my opinion, these are some of the most important and fundamental questions we can ask ourselves – and yet we only rarely have a chance to have this conversation. Thanks for that chance, Mr. Foozball!
Here’s the comment from Mr. Foozball:
I believe you are doing your readers a disservice here. You consistently refer to “happiness” and yet you do not define it? Your posts seem to repeat themselves with a similar message but offer no specific strategies, definitions, tactics and frameworks to assess what MORE you’ve accomplished as the result of this “happiness” vs. any alternative state. Also, how are we to distinguish between REALLY happy and mildly happy. Will occassionaly happy work? What if a HOME life makes one UNHAPPY and that bleeds subconcsiously into your job? Is it your WORK that is making you unhappy or is it your relationship to it? Is your definitions, self-esteem which is to blame? could it be that you lack a focused attention to WHO you are and WHAT you value in life? Perhaps it is not the Job, it is YOU which is the problem?
You appear to believe that happiness is the paramount objective of work. I disagree. Self mastery, mastery of complexity, insight into economics, recognition, esteem, collaboration and the ability to accomplish tasks that one could not accomplish alone and the ability to achieve a sense of self determination. These objectives are not easily attained and require significant focus, effort and stick-to-itness in the face of many set backs. Most audacious goals are enormously challenging and they often test our faith in ourselves. “Happiness” is not necessarily the goal, although a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, pride and esteem often are. Happiness is surely an objective but happiness is akin to eating candy. Children can feel “happy” from a bowl of candy. But after too much of it and no protein, they will soon feel the effects and grow listless. Sometimes those nutrients the child needs for growth come in awful tasting vegetables. While they might not taste like candy – they are profoundly important to the child’s mental health. Does it make the child “happy” to eat them? No. Is it necessary for success? Certainly. The same can be said about exercise, waking up early, quiting smoking, enduring psycho-analysis, learning to apologize, etc. All these things require some sacrifice, challenge, pain, etc. None of them makes us “happy” immediately, but the outcomes of the process makes us healthier, wiser, successful, secure and ultimately more open to other’s similar struggles.
That should be the objective. Happiness as defined by a state of joyous contentment or religious rapture from the knowledge that all is one and that we are the source of the energy of the universe and that the Lord God is the King and that you share in His Glory — that could be Happiness to some. And that has NOTHING to do with money, work, candy, status, rank, gender, race, etc. It is simply the state of BEING.
Working is the necessary analogy to what we are all doing on the earth. Working toward some sense of betterment of ourselves thru some form of practice or mastery. In the cases where people feel trapped, usually it has to do with some lack of insight into alternatives, usually b/c they lack the imagination to envision an alternative and/or the commitment, faith and drive to focus and execute on their dream.
Happiness, in my opinion, is not the GOAL but rather the OUTCOME of the life well examined, well mastered and well disciplined. When we focus on our values, develop mastery over our desires, commit ourselves to a disciplined routine of self examination, education, collaboration and openness to input from our peers we can achieve our objectives. They can be ANYTHING grand or subtle. But nothing great is accomplished w/out some form of sacrifice, challenge, commitment, drive and endurance. Anything worth doing, worth struggling for, worth pursuing in life WILL require these elements. And like climbing Mt Everest, the Happiness comes as the result of ACHIEVING the REAL altitude vs. eating a bowl of candy to give yourself an artificial “high.”
As I see it, the main criticisms of Mr. Foozball are:
- I offer no definition of happiness
- I offer no tool to measure what happiness does for you
- Happiness is NOT the purpose of work
- Happiness can only come through sacrifice
Here’s what I think.
1: I offer no definition of happiness
That’s actually true. In my opinion there are three interesting questions about happiness at work:
- What is it?
- Why does it matter?
- How do you do it?
I use this What-Why-How model all the time and there is no doubt that I spend almost no time answering the question “What is happiness at work?”
The thing is, there are many, many definitions of happiness at work. Some are biochemical, some are emotional, some are spiritual, etc…
But for all our problems defining it, we have absolutely no problems identifying when we’re happy at work and when we’re not. We know. My focus is on the practical side – on how you create a happy work situation for yourself or how you make an entire company happy.
I often say though, that it’s not just about happiness “here and now” – we’re talking long term happiness.
2: I offer no tool to measure what happiness does for you
That’s perfectly true – and that’s actually a great idea. I wonder what such a tool would look like.
Any ideas..?
3: Happiness is NOT the purpose of work
As I see it, work has no inherent purpose in itself – it has whatever purpose you give it.
You can work for the money, for the career opportunities, to make a difference, because people tell you you have to, for the sheer unadulterated fun of it or for a million other reasons.
For a long time, our thinking about work has been dominated by the protestant work ethic. This principle states (I paraphrase) that work is unpleasant and tough, and it’s supposed to be, because hard work purifies the soul and is good for you.
But today, more and more people realize that it needn’t be this way. Work can be fun in itself and they’re making happiness their purpose at work.
And I want to emphasize that there is absolutely no need to choose between being happy and doing great work.
Mr. Foozball mentions “Self mastery, mastery of complexity, insight into economics, recognition, esteem, collaboration and the ability to accomplish tasks that one could not accomplish alone and the ability to achieve a sense of self determination. These objectives are not easily attained and require significant focus, effort and stick-to-itness in the face of many set backs.”
In my opinion all of these are only enhanced when you like your job.
4: Happiness can only come through sacrifice
Mr Foozball’s viewpoint looks a lot like Stoicism, which holds that:
Self-control, fortitude and detachment from distracting emotions, sometimes interpreted as an indifference to pleasure or pain, allows one to become a clear thinker, level-headed and unbiased. A primary aspect of Stoicism would be described as improving the individual’s spiritual well-being.
In opposition to this, we have the Epicurean world view, in which attaining happiness is the ultimate goal of everything you do. This was originally defined by the Greek philosopher Epicurus.
I probably won’t shock anyone by saying that I’m with Epicurus on this one :o)
Sacrifice is one way to happiness. Sometimes. Most of the time you can be perfectly happy without sacrificing anything at all.
You mention exercise as an example – and I know that the traditional view is that if you want to exercise efficiently and stay in shape, you must force yourself to run (or swim or weight lift or cross country ski) regularly without fail, no matter how much you hate it.
Or, alternatively, you can find a form of exercise that is so much fun that you can’t possibly not do it. Considering how many sports exist, there has to be at least one out there that you like that much. Why jog 3 times a week if you really, really hate jogging, when you could swim instead and enjoy every second of it?
One very visible proof that the Epicurean approach works at work is Fred Gratzon. Fred is an American entrepreneur and multi-millionaire who calls himself the laziest man in North America and claims that he has never worked a single day in his life. In fact, he refuses to work. In his excellent book The Lazy Way to Success, he describes how this is not only possible, but in his opinion the only true way to success. Because, as he says:
If it feels like work, you’re not doing it right.
It’s important to note that when sacrifice is called for, when there is no easy, pleasurable way to your goal, you should definitely be willing to sacrifice. This is not about always staying inside your comfort zone and only doing what is nice and safe.
This way of living requires a lot of strength and self-knowledge. But in my opinion, it’s ultimately a lot more fruitful than the “life is hard, work is hard, everything great requires sacrifice” school of thought.
I believe that we lead better lives AND do better work when we follow the Epicurean thinking. It’s no panacea and it certainly carries its own inherent risks and flaws, but ultimately it has more potential to give you a fulfilling, interesting, happy life.
Stoicism has had its run, and I believe it has failed us – the promise of deferred pleasure having been broken over and over. Also, it’s been used to keep us down, to keep us in our place and to keep us subservient to religions and other organizations that told us they were the only possible path to happiness.
If the things you do won’t ultimately make you and those you care about happier, then why do them? Why not instead focus on doing those things that would bring you and others more long-term happiness?
So that’s my take: We’re here to be happy and make others happy. The Dalai Lama is with me on this one:
I believe that the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. That is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believes in this religion or that religion, we all are seeking something better in life. So I think the very motion of our life is towards happiness…
Where do you stand? Why do you work? How important is happiness to you – at work and in life? Write a comment, I’d really like to know!
Peter Said,
May 29, 2007 @ 1:32 pm
first about the “a tool to measure what happiness does for you”… if the output of a person could be measured and a graph charting the happiness to output could be drawn… then you could have a tool. In my case is simple… if I’m happy I’m productive, if I’m not happy I might do some small stuff and if I am unhappy my productivity gravitates toward 0.
I don’t agree with “attaining happiness is the ultimate goal of everything you do”. Happiness should be a compass NOT the goal. It is only an instrument given by God to tell you that you are doing the right thing at the right time. It is just a feedback mechanism to guide you toward a fulfilled life.
I also belive that you can choose your response to life’s events…. so I agree with dr. Dyer when he says “There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.”
Peter Said,
May 29, 2007 @ 1:48 pm
Apparently I’ve miss-attributed a quote to dr. Dyer…
“There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.
There is no way to peace. Peace is the way.
There is no way to enlightenment. Enlightenment is the way.”
is by Thich Nhat Hanh
Swan Said,
May 29, 2007 @ 5:28 pm
Brilliant article, I really like how you took this as a chance to state your case in a friendly and informative way.
As far as the happiness tool, here are some things I find important. Rate these on a scale of one 1 (poor) to 5 (high):
* Respect and cordiality of others at work, being appreciated
* Understanding of role and job requirements
* Facility to do job and perform as required
* Accomplishments and satisfactions of doing job
* Being needed and/or contributing to a worthy cause
* Workplace functions well and with a predictable pattern
I think for, me anyhow, these are important things that help me feel calm and happy, be able to be most productive, feel I live life making a valuable contribution, and live with dignity. The more 5′s you have, the more I think you will like your job.
Swan Said,
May 29, 2007 @ 5:35 pm
P.S.: You might want to add a “unhappiness tool”:
Unhappiness Tool
Scale of 1-5
1 means low, 5 means high. The more 5s you have the more unhappy you may be at work.
* unfriendly, disrespectful people at work
* no set role/duties and requirements constantly change
* job too hard or too demanding
* goals constantly change/never win, no satisfaction
* feel put upon, demands made may be pointless
* workplace doesn’t work; the pattern is one of break-downs and system failure
Compare the Happiness Tool Results and the Unhappiness Tool Results and see what your total happiness is at your current job. Then, make changes if warranted, maybe by getting a new job or changing departments, etc.
KimRu Said,
May 29, 2007 @ 5:46 pm
Tool to measure happiness at work:
How many mg of anti-depressants you have to take to drag yourself out of bed and into work.
(You may think I’m kidding, but I’ve actually had serious conversations with folks who went on antidepressants or increased their dosage as their last-resort of dealing with a negative work atmosphere – because they thought it was them and not the place – which was totally untrue.)
Nirmala Pather Said,
May 30, 2007 @ 12:46 am
From viewing others and my life experiences I believe that happiness comes from within. Although it is easy to blame others, we do have a choice in the way we react to provocation. We can choose the path to happiness or we can react in ways that really offer no satisfaction.
The case of Amy Biehl is one that comes to mind. This young lady went to South Africa as a Fullbright scholar in 1993 to help the underpriveleged and deprived communities to learn how to vote in the first democratic elections of that country in 1994.
She is described as a brilliant student with top academic credentials. She was a few days from returning to the USA when her car was ambushed and she was murdered by radical youth from the militant wing. Despite Amy’s black friends yelling that she was a friend to the black people, they continued in their brutal attack.
How does one react to the pain and senseless loss of a young, caring
and selfless person in such a cruel way? Her parents chose to make something good come out of her death. Instead of harboring hate, they have reached out to that very same community and the killers to provide programs that uplift and educate them to become useful citizens.
The Amy Biehl Foundation was developed as a “catalyst for social progress.” They have used their pain to create happiness for others and not dwell in their sorrow. Maybe this is what it means in the Prayer of St.Francis “- – - – it is giving that we receive”
In daily communications we should try and remember this. “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.? [Thich Nhat Hnah]
For more information on Amy Biehl check http://www.rjgeib.com/heroes.amy/amy.html
We can create techniques to live in greater happiness as is described in http://www.qualitylivingstyles.com
Jean Browman Said,
May 30, 2007 @ 7:14 pm
I was lucky enough to be depressed when I was a kid. It taught me that being involved in meaningful projects was the way to happiness for me. I’m officially retired from paying work, but I’m spending more than 8 hours a day developing my web site, making short weekly videos for the local public access TV station, doing other volunteer work, etc. And I’m having the time of my life.
When I was working at a paying job I used to skip down the hallway. I wouldn’t have noticed except people kept pointing it out.
Life is too short to be unhappy. And the great thing about being happy is you want to share it with other people.
Keep up the great work, Alexander!
By the way, I recently bought The Lazy Way to Success for my son-in-law. I was labeled lazy as a kid. Yeah, sure. I figure that was just another word for depressed.
Ask M Said,
May 31, 2007 @ 11:52 am
Swan – I’d like to pick up on your second point that no set role, or duties constantly changing, can be a cause of unhappiness at work.
You’re quite right but I think the reverse can also be true! If you’re the kind of person who needs stimulation and challenge, then a job where you’re doing more of the same, all the time, will soon leave you feeling bored and frustrated.
And bored staff are unhappy staff.
M
Swan Said,
May 31, 2007 @ 3:40 pm
The quotes you might be referring to are:
* Understanding of role and job requirements
Here I am saying there should be some understanding of what your job requires. Expecting variable challenges or by the number challenges helps to reduce stress and makes workers more productive and happy. Not knowing what is or might be expected of you or having this constantly change can be stressful whether you like a limited set of duties or an infinite set of duties.
* Workplace functions well and with a predictable pattern
This is about management, flow and function. It’s about how all the parts of the workplace work together. I am saying that things like communication and hierarchy (or lack thereof) should be established and well-functioning. If the business works, if things resolve or get decided effectively, the type of structure may not be that important. But if the workplace is a disaster zone, where things are inefficient or there is no effective leadership, it may be very stressful.
I hope that clears up any confusion; if you have any other questions or need me to clarify anything else, please let me know.
Sridhar Ratna Said,
June 1, 2007 @ 3:56 am
Alex,
This is a sensitive topic. We are unhappy at work because we hate it and wish it to be in some other way. In other words, we have our own “aversions” and “cravings”, which alone are the source of misery rather than some “external” object, like work.
Want happiness? Relinquish the wanting – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanha
Sridhar Ratna Said,
June 1, 2007 @ 4:03 am
“The Master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his education and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence in whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he is always doing both.”
– Zen Philosophy
Charlie Said,
June 1, 2007 @ 7:32 am
I like to think of it as a challenge for everyone. We can’t alway convince everyone to agree with what we think. They may have different perspective based on what they have learned and observed.
matt m Said,
June 3, 2007 @ 4:18 am
I think Mr. F’s primarily failing is a focus on an incompatible connotation of happiness as something that is only short term. In many cases we are forced to choose between the long and short time horizons of happiness. Mr. F attempts to use the weak argument that because we do hard things, happiness is not the goal of all activity. I would disagree and say that many of these hard things are pursued for the sake of sacrificing the short term for the long.
As far as the measurement of happiness, I’d recommend-
This BBC show: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/happiness_formula/
Dan Gilbert’s book Stumbling on Happiness offers more.
http://www.randomhouse.com/kvpa/gilbert/
Howie Said,
June 4, 2007 @ 2:36 am
I agree with Charlie. Having feedbacks is one way of opening ourself to criticisms and suggestions. Sometimes we can learn from them if we keep an open mind.
For love or money? How should you choose what to study? Said,
June 7, 2007 @ 12:15 pm
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