Well said, Alex.

Buddhists call this Tanha, the root cause of all human misery.

Having read all of this, it struck me that this person is in possession of a really valuable skill, which is appreciating what she does right now.

Imagine a person who, while working, looks forward to retirement for the freedom it will bring. Then, when retirement arrives, becomes nostalgic about work for all the challenges it offered.

Lots of people practice this kind of “grass is greener on the other side” thinking. No matter what they’re doing, they can more easily see the advantages of whatever it is they’re not doing.

And these people have a really hard time becoming happy (or even satisified) because their minds are always focused on what they don’t have.

The person Gerardo describes, however, does the exact opposite and focuses on the benefits of what she DOES have, rather than pining for something else.

Make sense?

By way of analogy, I’ve gone back on my own to study, in my own way, subject matter that I absolutely hated in school. The fact that I’m my own boss makes all the difference in the world. Other things I’ve learned to appreciate intellectually on my own, because I never studied them in school–and I’m mortally sure I would hate them with a passion if they’d been assigned course work.

For example, I read Watership Down for the first time about three years ago. Last May, I saw the bookstores advertising it as part of the “summer reading list” for the publik skool system. My immediate reaction was to the effrontery of a required summer reading list–it’s not enough for them to poison the joys of learning during the school year, they’ve got to turn it into a chore even during what passes for “ownlife” among human resources-to-be. Then I thanked God that I’d never been assigned Watership Down in school, and identified it with authority, so I was able to love it instead of hate it.

Part of our identity is the different roles we have: worker, parent, son, nurse, comedian etc. When we fulfill a role, it feels satisfying, because it shows purpose in our life.

But of course there are umpteen different roles we have or could choose to have. And sometimes we just want to do our own thing, without fulfilling some sort of responsibility. Whichever path we choose, there is the opportunity for happiness.

She is not saying that she misses work. She is saying that she misses making financial reports and calculations. She cannot say that she misses work. She loved work. She had to love work, she stuck with it until retirement. To turn around now and say, ‘Dang what a waste of time that was!’ would be high treason.
Treason against herself because then she is not who she thought she was.

I do it daily. When somebody ask me how’s work I say great. Because if I do not say great I have to come up with a reason why I’m sticking with it. If it’s not great why don’t you leave, why don’t you do something else? You do that long enough and eventually you believe that your job is great and you love work – even though you hated every day. You tell yourself you love work until you do.

When you stop working you can stop the lying. But you can’t, because you now either believe it or you can’t commit high treason.

She may miss the content of her work, but not all the trappings.

Simple. Intrinsic motivation is more intense in things that one really loves. When external objects like money, name, fame, etc.. come in, extrinsic motivation takes foothold.

Intrinsic is more fun than extrinsic.