I was in a situation where I was bullied by other members of staff , at my own level, and in the end, my GP even offered to sign me off sick until I got a new job because he saw how ill it was making me. I didn’t go sick but I did get out and have never regretted it. Today in my current job , I got a letter from my manager saying how well I had done in the last 6 months. It made me feel so much better . I am not any different now from when I was in the previous job, I work just as hard and am just as committed but now I feel valued and I love it. Keep looking, you are worth it!

I wouldn’t necessarily advocate going straight for the jugular and suing the company, but I would stress that it’s a good idea, if there’s a potential for a wrongful dismissal or constructive dismissal to occur to be really aware of one’s rights under existing employment laws. It’s about educating one’s self about one’s rights and having an advocate who can help you use language that employers understand very clearly. At the very least, this individual is entitled to a fair severance package in the event of a dismissal–and a lawyer can review the offer or help negotiate what’s best for the employee out of court. Sometimes all it takes is a really good letter written or ghost-written–by a lawyer to get difficult employers to back off or down.

Also, remember that “leaving” can include a lateral, promotional, or even geographical move within the same corporation if it is large enough to accommodate such. Your former director was promoted out of the way. Perhaps you could reestablish contact with him/her. If you were able to get along with this person in spite of their having no people skills, you just might be a blessing to someone. If you choose this path, take extreme care to burn no bridges behind you. you never know…

Finally, however and to wherever you leave (assuming you do), remember that you will be packing your own baggage along with you. So, do take the time as recommended above to do some soul searching in order to make this a time of growing.

At my job, they pile as much work on as few people as they can, and by the end of the day my nerves are rubbed raw from having to deal with people.

What many of these readers have missed is that it is NOT just you who is being singled out like this–one other person is receiving the same kind of treatment. How well do you know and trust your colleague? I would say the the two of you need to support each other, and both of you need to make a complaint to someone at least two levels above your boss. Don’t bother with HR–they just side with upper management and reframe it all as an “interpersonal conflict”. If you do have a union or professsional association rep, having two of you make the same kind of complaints and be able to verify the behavior will carry a lot more weight than just one of you filing a grievance or complaint individually. BEFORE you take any steps, I highly recommend that you read Namie & Namie’s book “The Bully at Work” .(No, I’m not getting commissions for this, but I wish I’d come across this book earlier rather than later in my own misadventures with a workplace bully because it’s really helpful in terms of the very specific strategies for helping targets (“victims”) to bully proof themselves and to bully-bust.) Another fairly good resource is a web site called Bullyfreeatwork.

If you are systematically having your work taken away from you and it is being reassigned to people who do no have the qualifications for the position, it looks to me as though your boss might be moving toward a constructive dismissal. If you have not already done so, start documenting all these incidents as meticulously as you can–dates, times (if possible) and an objective, depersonalized description of the incidents. Don’t let this go on too long (re the re-assignment of work to a lesser qualified colleague) or it will look like you tacitly agreed to the changes in your job description. You need to start looking for a really good employment lawyer who specializes in constructive dismissal and defending people who have been bullied at work. You also need to make sure you have a really good support network in place to see you through this. Whatever else happens, try not to internalize your boss’s negative behaviour and attitudes toward you. I definitely agree with all the readers who are telling you to dust off your resume and get something else lined up (A tough thing in this economy, I know.) because it is marginally easier to get another job while you’re still employed. More importantly, you need to get out of that place before it does real damage to your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being, not to mention your self-esteem and self-confidence. Empower yourself to deal with this cruddy behavior and remember the shame belongs with your boss for his behavior–not you. I wish you the best of luck and the best possible outcome for you.

I’d love to address you by your name (or alias) but unfortunately I can’t find it anywhere.

What are you going to do with all the comments? Leave – Stay – Talk to your boss’s boss – Quit – try harder…?

Nobody can advise you what’s the right thing to do in your unique situation.

What I’m gonna say might sound quite frank but I’m also offering you help, so read on :)

I noticed that 90% of your post is made of passive sentences. Everything “happened to you” and you are the victim. “I am not treated nicely. I had my duties taken away. I have been reduced…”
My first question as a coach would be to add “the second part” to those sentences, with what you think your role was in that. E.g. “I had my duties taken away, because I [e.g. missed a few deadlines]“. “I am not treated nicely, because I [e.g. always get emotional when my boss speaks to me.]”
What happens when you look at yourself through the eyes of your boss? Or through the eyes of your team? Who do they see? What makes them treat you the way they do? It doesn’t matter if they are right, they might totally misunderstand you, but what do you think is the reason for their behavior towards you?
Are you getting along with the other person who’s also not being treated nicely? Look at this person – that might be easier – why do people treat her/him the way they do? What do you have in common with this person?

What I think is the first thing that’s needed is that you UNDERSTAND why this is “happening to you” or how “you created it”. You need to know how this situation came about and what your role in it was. This is not about blame, this is about understanding people’s actions, interactions with each other and the domino effect of them. If everything would indeed just be happening to you and were out of your control, then there was no way for you to change things.

I’m not going to say “there are no bad bosses” because I had one myself, two actually, and they were the reason why I left my last job. Like in your case, though, they got along fine with other people and they had no clue that they were “bad bosses”. Why? Because part of the team didn’t dare to tell them they were bad, part of the team didn’t care and just got on with their jobs and part of the team didn’t have a problem with them in the first place because they had similar personalities. To them, those bosses were not bad. I on the other hand cared; I had the opposite personality of them; and I did tell them what was going on in the team and how I felt, so in their eyes * I * was the problem and I had to go. Not nice and they are still bad bosses :) however I absolutely know what my role in this was and I understand the motivation of each party involved.

I have a feeling that this is the biggest thing that’s missing on your end – the UNDERSTANDING. My guess from where I sit is that this has a lot to do with personalities. You 2 might be the only 2 people in the team whose personality does not match with your boss’s. And my second idea would be to look at the sort of job you do, the sort of environment you are in and if you guys are actually a good fit for that. Remember Alex’x post about “How to manage geeks”? “Geeks, IT people” have a specific personality that doesn’t fit into every environment. Same as Marketing/PR people would feel out of place if they were suddenly pushed to work with a team of IT people…

I teach personality types (how to spot them quickly in other people and how to deal with them) and if you contact me and we’ll schedule a skype session, I’ll give you an overview for free if you’re interested. It will not make your boss any better, however that understanding might be eye opening and you will get why it’s the two of you and not anyone else and what behavior on your part triggered their behavior in turn. From there you will be able to make a better decision on how to move forward and how to get your boss to communicate with you.

And whatever you decide to do – leave or stay – at least you’ll have all the WHY questions answered that are floating around in your head and you’ll have space for more creative and energizing thoughts again :)

Best regards
Anja