Ask the CHO
Seriously, ask me anything related to happiness at work. Just call me the Miss Manners or Dear Abby of the workplace :o)
The way it works is you ask a question (either in a comment to this page or in an email) and I answer it in a post on the blog. If you want me to, I’ll anonymize your question so you won’t get caught asking for outside advice. Go ahead and ask, I’d love to help!
You can see all previous questions and answers here.
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Ask the CHO: Enjoying work itself Said,
August 7, 2006 @ 3:55 pm
[...] I’m taking questions about happiness at work, and Chris asked me a good one: Why do you never talk about the happiness you can derive from work itself, but always about the ancillary parts, i.e. the relations you have with your colleagues? Surely the job itself should be the greatest contributor to your happiness at work. I am thinking of Csikszentmihalyi’s work on Flow. [...]
Stressedmanager Said,
August 15, 2006 @ 3:05 pm
Is it possible to be too happy at work?
daniel Said,
August 24, 2006 @ 5:44 pm
Hi Alexander
I work in a big company, have done for 5 years. Prior to that I worked in SME’s or as a freelancer, or not at all, because I love the freedom. I’ve just been doing this for security while we had yound children.
Knowing that I need more than this has driven me to become and entrepreneur, which I value. Things are moving a long, but I can see that I’m still going to be in this big company culture for a while. I’ve moved depts, tried different things, but frankly it feels like it’s killing me.
I get along with my colleagues; don’t bitch; and so on. I’m grateful for the security that has been provided to us. But I want to move on, and it is taking time. I find it hard to keep it all going.
What do you advise?
thanks
JACH Said,
September 23, 2006 @ 12:15 am
Ok, finally I opened my mouth about what I see that is going around here, and it was a great experience, really!
Just to be able to speak openly with a good sense of direction (thanks to your ideas here) made a great difference of what I tried to say.
Anyway, although the chat was really nice, my boss still told me some things I couldn’t debate at the moment:
- “most of our department problems (development) are because production, because they have this specific mind set. Issues between development and production are as old as engineering”
- “Development and Production are different. Development can be flexible, and you can expect people to think by theirselves, but for Production you need people to do exactly as told”
- “Production guys won’t understand that Development can have more flexibility and so, so we have to hold to avoid them to complain”
I know that we can have better understanding with the production guys, I know that you should allow and encourage people to think by theirselves, and I know that once these two things happen, the third issue will be the easiest of the three.
My problem is that I don’t have real-life examples to support this, and also, I think I need things to start slowly because there will be people scared out of their wits to this change, to lost this illusion of control they have and let people decide by theirselves (of course I can’t tell them directly “you’re fooling yourself, you try to have control, but you have nothing”. I have to be more polite =)
Is this a difficult question, or not at all?
=)
Alexander Said,
September 25, 2006 @ 10:43 am
GREAT Jach, I love that you spoke out.
For real-life examples, I suggest reading Nuts! about Southwest Airlines and of course The Seven-Day Weekend about Semco. Both of these companies give their production staff huge freedoms and get great results from it.
There’s also a video about Southwest called It’s so simple which looks, among other things, at the contol issue.
Here’s another article about listening to employees:
http://positivesharing.com/2005/08/american-airlines-make-money-by-listening-to-employees/
Using these, it should be a piece of cake to convince your managers :o) Or maybe not…
Louloutte Said,
December 26, 2006 @ 5:09 pm
Hello Alexander,
I discovered your website before yesterday (never too late to do well right?:-)) . I more than enjoyed reading your book and I thank you for all the tips and tricks you give to help make people happy and why. My question is: what would you recommend to make co-workers happy in a remote environment? (= virtual teams)… What kind of exercices team members could do in order to be happier working as a virtual team?
Many thanks for your response, any piece of advice would help!
Ciao
Louloutte
Simon Lebex Said,
December 28, 2006 @ 6:35 pm
Dear,
I have read parts of your book for a paper I am writing for a business ethics course I am taking in Nottingham. Would it be possible to provide me the credentials of the book (publisher, year and so) as I intend to refer to it in my paper.
Thanks in advance
Brad Montgomery Said,
January 3, 2007 @ 6:44 am
your blog is absolutely wonderful! I have a blog on humor and the workplace too… but gosh…yours just absolutely rocks!
Congrats… I look forward to being friends.
Brad Montgomery
http://www.bradmontgomery.com
david Said,
January 9, 2007 @ 2:07 pm
Hello Alex,
i work in a big company and with some coworkers are working in Competence Development Project (i don’t know if in english is named the same as in spanish) (leaded by HR) .
We have created a blog where we post messages (humor, positive messages, etc..) from the team to everyone in the company and the comments are open for them to say whatever they want.. about the company or whatever.. (i’ll keep the name of the company and de project confidentially if you don’t mind)..
we are just starting.. and your blog has given me very very good ideas..
I have a technical question i would like to ask you. Is your blog based in any specific SW? is it a Webpage? i would like to design a blog similar to yours where i can show recent comments on a side, etc…
in a month time i’ll be able to tell you more about the project…
Alexander Said,
January 9, 2007 @ 2:18 pm
What a great idea, David.
My blog is based on WordPress, which is open source and free. You can download it from wordpress.org.
WordPress requires php5 and mysql to run. I like it because it’s simple, customizable and you can find many great themes to customize the look of it.
Please tell me how your project goes!
shel Said,
January 10, 2007 @ 6:32 pm
Alex,
You’ve recommended several books on your blog. Including your own book, what would you recommend as the essential Happiness at Work library?
Alexander Said,
January 12, 2007 @ 10:30 am
Funny you should ask Shel: I posted a list of my favorite books here.
shel Said,
January 12, 2007 @ 7:32 pm
Ah, I was away from the computer that day – but it’s sort of embarassing, it was one of the few days I didn’t read your site, and you post the stuff I ask about 9 days later… *turns red* :)
Kristin Said,
January 16, 2007 @ 11:27 pm
Dear CHO,
I have been working from home for over two years now for an organization that does great work. I believe that what I’m doing is important…but sometimes I do feel lonely and isolated. Working from home has a lot of perks, but it also has some challenges.
Any advice for those of us who work from home? How can we make work happier for ourselves? Would love to hear your thoughts.
Wayne Said,
January 25, 2007 @ 12:57 am
Hello Alexander,
Many questions here are very interested and thoughtful, but seems not every question here has an answer. I’m particularly interested in the questions asked by daniel (August 24, 2006 @ 5:44 pm) and Louloutte (December 26, 2006 @ 5:09 pm). It is highly appreciate if you can provide your comments.
Office lady Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 4:11 am
Hello Alexander,
I have a question about when we want to quit our jobs. Are there any “codes of practice” or “ethics” of quitting out there?
For example, I have read somewhere that we should not keep quiet about our intentions to leave until the very last minute and then suddenly hand in our resignation letters. Instead, we should be verbally discussing our leaving a few days before we formally hand in the letter?
Are there any other similar things that we must take note of when we are planning our resignation?
Thank you!
Keith S. Said,
February 6, 2007 @ 4:57 pm
Hi Alex,
I love your website and have quoted you and referred many of my co-workers to positivesharing. I’ve been inspired (by your and a few others in your blog roll) to start a ‘grass roots’ employee engagement team (to communicate our version of the Happiness Manifesto and too support projects to enable employees to celebrate, collaborate and create at work), so any advice would be great. I have a question. I’ve presented some of the concepts from your book to my site’s senior manager (the boss of my boss of my boss) about “happiness at work”. He gave me this response:
“I would contend that “happiness at work? is an outcome of a complex mix of factors such as a person’s manager, their work, their pay, their personal life, their health, their age, their personality. In other words, it is complex. By definition it is hard to distinguish cause and effect. Further complicating this is that outward signs of “happiness? don’t necessarily correlate to the truth. It is actually true that employees have quit and worked for someone else to the complete surprise of GOOD leaders. In other words, a dog wagging a tail doesn’t mean the dog is happy!!”
The main problem I have is that I believe this wiggle statement is an excuse not to tackle the problems of improving our lab. What sort of response would you make? What would be the “Happy Employee” answer?
Barbara Said,
February 7, 2007 @ 7:47 pm
Hello,
Happiness to you too and I would love to send you our book..Most of All They Taught Me Happiness by Robert Muller, http://www.amaremedia.com And it will be a Free gift for all the happiness you give us with your work..My google alert brings you up all the time..How do you alert google to alert me about happiness?
Robert and Barbara Muller
Bernard Said,
March 19, 2007 @ 1:59 am
I enjoy the idea of happiness but I wouldn’t want to be a CHO because of what the word means in a certain African language.
Ben Said,
March 21, 2007 @ 10:15 pm
Alex,
We were bought out recently and our new employer is trying to make changes. As part of management, I’m being asked to participate in a few only courses and to read a small handbook called: “Business as Unusual: The Handbook for Managing and Supervising Organizational Change”. Have you heard of this book and if so, do you have any opinions on its advice as far as how it affects Happiness at Work?
Julie Bartkus Said,
April 16, 2007 @ 11:38 pm
Hello Alex,
My name is Julie Bartkus. I produce and host a monthly audio program for
leaders in the child care industry.
Every month my subscribers receive a CD featuring a different topic to help them
manage, motivate and retain great staff. This month’s topic is: Happy Days:
Tips for having more of them at work.
I thought your tips for having fun would help child care leaders around
the world be happier at work.
I was wondering if you would be willing to grant me a 20 – 40 minute telephone
interview on the topic.
I would be more than happy to provide you with a copy of the edited audio
segment for your use and promote your products and services during our
interview. Your services are greatly needed in this industry.
Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you. I can be reached at
1.800.211.5671 or julie@motivateteachers.com.
Enthusiastically,
Julie Bartkus
http://www.MotivateTeachers.com
1.815.675.6949
James Said,
April 24, 2007 @ 3:20 pm
Work and happiness is not compatible, if salary does not motivate your happiness, and work is a major part of your life (you can’t just work for the weekend and leave it at the office).
Sad but true.
Dana Said,
May 2, 2007 @ 10:54 pm
I recently hit a “salary cap” how can anyone be happy about that?! My husband is out of work and my pay is more important that ever. I’ve worked for the same group for almost ten years and this is the way they reward my loyalty and hard work! This does NOT make me happy!
Tanya Hamersfeld Said,
May 24, 2007 @ 12:59 pm
Can we fly you out to Australia to meet our team? We are a happy bunch but we are always interested in new things and your philosophy of happiness at work fits us down to the ground!
Do you give presentations? We could also introduce you to our clients…Melbourne is a beautiful place and our Sydney office is gorgeous too!
Think about it!!
Tanya Hamersfeld
Corporate Training Australia
Office Lady Said,
May 27, 2007 @ 10:44 am
Hello Alex,
I’ve been visiting your site on and off for quite a while now.
I’ve been miserable at work and, although it took me almost a year, I eventually built up the courage, and I’ve finally quit my job!!
I think it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made!
I’m now working out my one-month notification period…then hopefully go on a vacation to Europe with my family…then travel to Beijing to visit my love….
And most of all, I’ve found a new job too! No one knows how it’ll go, but a change is definitely due and I’m looking forward to a fresh start.
Your site has definitely pushed me on.
:) One happy Office Lady in Hong Kong
Ask the CHO: Happy companies and happy cultures Said,
June 5, 2007 @ 11:02 am
[...] Ask the CHO [...]
pedro Said,
July 16, 2007 @ 7:08 pm
What advise could you give to France car manufacturer ?
Since last year, the number of suicide in France car manufacturer (Peugeot, Renault) increased so much, that now each new suicide is now commented in the medias.
Some of them have even started a “toll-free” number to support depressive employees. But rumors of relocation, the lack of perspective for older employees seems to have a terrible effect on them.
Elaine Said,
November 12, 2007 @ 6:06 pm
Hi Alex
I found your site by googling the phrase ‘how to be happy at work’. I have been working (solo) from home for the last 10 years. Recently I created a blog on self development and would like to quote your writings in my blog. Is that Okay with you?
I have made a post on your book here
http://success-self-development.blogspot.com/2007/11/how-to-be-happy-at-work_11.html
By the way, you have great links. I have visited some of them and found some very useful writings on personal development topics. I am glad I stumbled on your site.
Elaine
Guilla Said,
December 8, 2007 @ 5:18 am
Dear Alex,
I have been wondering, and perhaps you can help by answering these… although I am not sure if you have commented on these or similar questions.
(I promise to read your book this season!)
1. Do you have to know what kind of job you like doing to be happy at work?
2. Can you be happy at work at a job that does not really match your personality?
3. Does the ideal job exist or is it just the ideal job for you?
4. How can you get there?
Help? :S Thanks in advance for your time, I know you are really busy.
rick Said,
December 14, 2007 @ 10:09 am
Hi, Alex!
I have written two emails to you but failed to receive any responses at all. I’m trying to talk about the foreign rights of your book.
Hoping you reply very soon.
Rick
rick Said,
December 17, 2007 @ 4:28 pm
Hi CHO- great Alex!
Me back again!
Why?
‘Cause you talked with me about your book and sent back mails about your question “how will we do?” or something like that.
But what a pity- you didn’t respond later at all. You never read your email shown in this site.
Hope we dicuss the matter further.
Thank again.
Guilla Said,
December 17, 2007 @ 5:18 pm
Rick I have to agree with you, The Chief Happiness Officer either does not read his email or is just to busy. And as this section of the blog I don’t think the reads either, that or you are very lucky because I have never received any reponse from him.
Hopefully he will reply soon.
Great day!
Guilla
It’s true - I’ve been a bad boy Said,
December 18, 2007 @ 10:21 am
[...] Guilla: Rick I have to agree with you, The Chief Happiness Officer either does not read his email or is just to busy…. [...]
“Office Lady” from Hong Kong is back - and still not happy at work Said,
December 18, 2007 @ 3:36 pm
[...] while back I got a comment from Office Lady in Hong Kong who wrote that: I’ve been miserable at work and, although it took me almost a year, I eventually [...]
Peter Said,
January 7, 2008 @ 4:33 pm
Hello Alex I would like to take this opportunity to ask your advice.I have been with my current employer for 6 years and I have been very happy except for the last 2 years where I have started to descend into unhappiness.I like my collegues they are genuinely good people and I like the company I work for.My boss has always been one for encouraging self development and wishes me to do well within the company.It has been put to me that a new job in external sales should become available later this year and I am being encouraged to go for it.I honestly dont know if the new job will suit although it sounds more challenging but its either that or stay where I am and die.I earn a decent salary and I feel guilty for not being happy as I work for a great company with what I feel are good prospects.However I believe I am bored and unmotivated.Worse still I feel like I dont contribute anything to the company and I am just starting to get feelings of not wanting to go to work when rising in the morning.This is partly perpetuated by not feeling like I want to do anything and avoiding it by surfing the web.I work solidly 5days a week from 08.30 until at least 17.30 eating my lunch as I go.This is all very selfish and I feel like I am whinging but any advice would be good.
saad jalal Said,
January 24, 2008 @ 10:58 am
..although i can’t find a job..not yet.. your website is very interesting for me..and i will ask you a lot of questions when i can get a good job.
Lyle Said,
May 14, 2008 @ 5:59 pm
CHO,
How do you get past people who love to talk but never listen? I was just recently given the opportunity to work for a big company as a branch manager and it seems. A lot of people demand success and ideas but do not want to hear how to create it. Ideas that I bring to the table that have proven success (kind of why they hired me) seem to just go in and go out of their ear ways.
Any advice on how to tell some one something and have them listen? Especially those who love to hear themselves talk, but not want to listen?
Frode Said,
July 8, 2008 @ 1:06 am
Would you come to Norway to race me in a mini race track competition?
http://properpants.blogspot.com/2008/07/office-grand-prix.html – This was a great mood booster at my office. :)
Aaron@EffortlessHR Blog Said,
July 20, 2008 @ 7:39 pm
Hi Alexander,
My emails were getting returned from your email so here goes. Feel free to delete this comment once it has been read.
I really enjoy reading your blog and have a great time following it. Thank you for taking the time to let your thoughts be known!
I would love to add you to our blogroll.. Would you be so kind as to add us to yours as well? I believe our readers would benefit
from both of our viewpoints and would love to know about both of our blogs.
The URL is http://www.effortlesshr.com/blog/ , the name is “Effortless HR Blog”.
Upon your reply, we will add a link to your site as well.
Thanks so much for your time, enjoy the weekend!
Floraine Said,
August 5, 2008 @ 6:49 pm
Well, this is a “how do I even get to work and have happiness” question.
I’ve been on about ten job interviews now and haven’t gotten called back for second interviews. I think I make it clear that I enjoy my work, but I’m not “connecting” with any of the interviewers. This has never happened to me before. I did have a problem with my previous boss and they may have called her before I arrived –but they haven’t said anything, and the emails to interview have been uniformly enthusiastic. And the receptions OF ME when I get there have been uniformly bland and cold. I look professional — as much so as I have in my life. I’m a teacher and my school closed. I’m 40, at the top payscale, so I know I have those strikes against me, plus the confrontation with the principal. But, then why do they even call me? I’ve had exactly ONE bad moment at work, that was it, in 16 years. I have no idea what’s creating such grief when I walk in, but I feel like I bring death in with me. I even ditched the black pinstripe suit for a linen shirt and linen pants to brighten things, with arty earrings and nothing. Any ideas?
Steve Said,
August 6, 2008 @ 1:58 am
CHO
What can you say about being unhappy working from home. I have the best job in the world, am able to spend lots of time with my family, but seem to be so stressed that I am not able to enjoy any of it.
SMN Said,
November 7, 2008 @ 9:43 am
I have been working with an organisation for last 8 yrs. REcently I have started noticing that I have been forced to do the work related to a personal assistant rather than an accountant or finance manager. I feeL I am being degraded. I am feel depressed How to control my frustration at work. I cannot think of leaving the job because I have full security at this job. Otherwise there are many layoffs in new jobs because of global financial turmoil you know.
ryan fritz Said,
November 25, 2008 @ 4:50 pm
I believe I saw some similar post about Isolation due to working from home. I feel blessed to be out of the work scenario I was in – but can offer up my best suggestions to avoid the isolation.
once or twice a week, I get out and work from a coffee shop or “socialized” area. Even though much of my office sign equipment is in my home, there are still duties I can perform remotely.
If at all possible try and schedule meetings with colleagues, even though most of my business is nationwide, I am going to try and “get out” more and not feel isolated from the working world.
RMF
http://www.OfficeSignCompany.com
CC Said,
November 28, 2008 @ 8:36 pm
Hi CHO,
I made a professional mistake and I’m extremely fed up on my current job; the company’s climate is terrible, my manager is only interested in the limelights and has no respect to anything except his ego and my coworkers make me hate people.
Problem: everybody is deeply scared in the world about the economic turbulence.
How to deal with that?
Thanks in advance!
Betsy Lee-Frye Said,
December 10, 2008 @ 2:43 pm
Hello Alexander,
I am a reporter from the U.S. My editor contacted you regarding an interview and you replied that you’d be interested in speaking to us. I’ve tried to reach you by phone and email. Could you please send me a line if you are still interested? We’d really like to include your thoughts in the piece.
Thank you.
Betsy Lee-Frye
SadSack Said,
April 27, 2009 @ 2:24 pm
Would you quit a company that started to send your department’s work to India?
I have this sinking sensation that when they can pay someone 1/60th of what they pay me, they won’t want to hear about my ideas to improve employee job satisfaction…
I feel outmatched…
Sam Nashe Said,
May 18, 2009 @ 1:23 pm
Hi
I’m an IT executive. I have over 20 years of career life and more than 15 years in leadership or management positions. I worked in several companies and countries and dealt with different cultures.
I worked for many employers for career development reasons. I’ve gained a lot of experience dealing with good bosses and bad ones too. However, the one I’m reporting to now is the worst of all. I’ve been known as top performer. To give you an example, in a short period, my salary increased from minimum salary when I immigrated to my current country to six figures salary due top performance and non-stop career development.
I started reporting to my current boss 10 month ago. This period had been my worst time in my entire life. I’ve been poorly treated, insulted in meetings, poorly rated from performance perspective, put on lay-off list, micro managed for reasons I was not able to discover. I had to escalate to next management levels after all my efforts went in the drain attempting to correct this situation or eliminate any misunderstanding. I was saved so far but I’m still stuck with the same boss who is doing every effort to nail me down again.
During the past period, I have experienced chest paints, panic attacks, lack of sleep, depression, etc.
It looks like this manager is very well connected in the company and I’m not able to move to any other area. I don’t have any other option but quitting my job. Although the economy is bad and even more, for a position like mine, it will be very difficult to have another job easily but I got to the point that I can’t take it any more. My doctor warned me that this situation is life threatening situation.
I eventually will leave soon, however how managers like this one can get away with this type of behaviour? What can I do? I feel very angry.
Lecia Said,
October 2, 2009 @ 5:35 pm
What do you think of creating a Social Issue Festival? One that brings the employees of a company together, with say, homeless folks? They create the festival and have conversations about how to change the system, the policies, etc. A fun way to build relationships with people outside the organization to build even more fulfillment and engagement with their company and community. Just an idea. Thoughts?
Jade Said,
October 16, 2009 @ 9:30 pm
Love the site!
I’m trying to identify some tools for dealing with people who are threatened by competence? What is the best way to handle a superior that does not understand best practices?
My husband and I work in technical fields (Chemistry and Computer Programming). We keep running into the same problem: We get hired to solve a problem, after a few weeks I create a solution using solid logic and best practices – but the manager or senior co-worker is threatened competence, and they get stuborn and defensive. After that it is only a matter of time before they turn on me. I want to head this off at the pass.
The only people that have a problem with me are typically indecisive managers who prefer inaction to the risk of making a mistake. How can I handle these people to prevent them from resorting to bad behavior AND get the job done that I’ve been hired to do? I really can’t seem to think my way out of this…
Thanks for any insight!
-Jade
Diane Said,
October 23, 2009 @ 3:44 pm
Just stumbled upon this site when googling “should you quit your job before you find another?”. Today is my last day in an administrative position I have only had for 2 months. It has been a miserable situation from the start. I was laid off from a wonderful job in the architecture field as an executive assistant. The people were always nice and helpful; no cattiness or backstabbing. I found this job within 2 months in a relatively similar field and have never seen a more surly, moody group. They are quite “cliquey” and tight and since the first week, I have been virtually ignored – sitting in a corner with nothing to do for 8 hours. No one gives me any work and when I ask if I can help them, I am told that they are busy, they will get back to me and then I’m dismissed. I’ve had them hang up on me when I announce a call for them, or walk right by me in the hall without so much as a ‘hello’. I was well respected at my previous job and whatever I was given, I would do and do well. I have no other job lined up and live in the state with the highest unemployment in the country (Michigan) but I know I have made the right decision. I read Sam’s post (the IT manager) and I have had the same physical symptoms; anxiety attacks, sleeplessness and depression knowing that I have to make the over an hour commute to this place every day and the hour and a half commute in on the way home. Sunday night were the worst – knowing that Monday is was around the corner. I just want to say to anyone that has any doubts about staying in a miserable job; don’t!!! It is NOT worth your health to be that miserable. If you can swing it financially for a while (I can) then get out and get out sooner rather than later. I will wake up on Monday without a job but without the physical pains I have had. The funny part is, this job was an ideal fit according to the description that was posted. It could not be further from the truth, so I did not jump at the first job that came along. I honestly thought it would be similar to where I came from. I will not let these people make my life miserable 1 more day.
Mark Morton Said,
October 29, 2009 @ 11:27 pm
Hi A,
Did you really have to ‘kick up your feet’ for your banner or did somebody just Photoshop your head onto a feet-kicking body or shoot the shot positioned on the floor?
Disgruntled Said,
November 2, 2009 @ 7:47 pm
Hi,
Just wanting to get a non-biased take on my work situation. I’m a programmer … the only female programmer. A year and half ago our company decided to close our office and ask everyone to move to a new town. Only a couple of people did so, so they decided to allow the rest of us to work from home. Recently (due to a change in upper management) my supervisor decided he could get a new office opened in our area. He didn’t ask any of us how we felt about this. He just went on his own and chose an office…one that was very convenient for him and in his favorite part of town … which happens to be the most expensive part of town. So, we were able to get much less office for the money. In fact, we have to share a bathroom (unisex) with all of the other residents of the building which gives me the willies. Plus we’re basically in one big empty room (no dividers, etc). About half of the people in the area who worked from home do not report to him. He did not ask their managers how they felt about this either. He assumed everyone was going to be thrilled to have an office again. When he made the announcement (after he’d already had the lease signed) it turned out that none of the people who did not report to him wanted to come into the office…. and their managers did not make them. So now we have an office with only a tiny handful of people (because we weren’t given a choice). I’m so enraged! I can’t stand to look at my boss anymore. #1. I was very happy and productive at home #2. this office just sucks and is very inconvenient for everyone but him #3. I feel like he doesn’t care about how he’s affecting our lives #4. I can’t get over the feeling that I’m being punished because of the department I work in and the supervisor I have. I feel like everyone should have been forced to come to the office. It feels very unfair, especially when they tease us about their ‘great commutes’ and ‘private bathrooms’. Am I being childish? Should I say something to him? Should I just suck it up and get over it? Thanks for any advice you can give me. This is really affecting me negatively. I don’t sleep well or enjoy life like I used to.
Kelly Said,
January 19, 2010 @ 6:05 pm
I’m considering leaving my job-job to begin my own company. I’m doing this so that I can be happier. Given the nature of my work, I will likely be a consultant who works at a home office by myself. What is your advice for a) maintaining a work/life balance and b) making my workplace happy even though I’ll be by myself?
Mark Said,
January 19, 2010 @ 7:25 pm
Congratulations on your bold move in a time when most are hanging onto jobs they hate by their fingernails!
Some suggestions from a guy who has been there:
Clarity
Be super clear about your idea of ‘happier.’ Super clear. Run a movie in your head with every detail you can conjure and include as many senses as you can. It’s an easy way to challenge your notion that you are moving toward something vs. running from something.
Routine
Certainly at first, I’d recommend getting up, getting dressed and ‘reporting’ to your desk or phone like a job – because it IS. After you have a full pipeline of work and feel the ‘groove’ of full-risk consultancy, then swing for the fences. I found that my ideal schedule was early work, mid-day snowboarding, then evening work…and for me, no cell phones on the lift!
Boundaries
Create a distinct workspace from the rest of your home. That doesn’t mean you HAVE to be there for all of your work, but have it, and have it be YOURS and only yours. It’s where you go to create, think, get away from the family maybe. And it’s a reminder that you’re doing more than hanging around your house…you’re working!
Blurring the lines between work and ‘going to work’ is a beautiful and natural thing I imagine you’ll come to cherish. Be thankful you have the expertise that lends itself well to that blurring and savor every moment.
Best of luck,
Mark
Kelly Said,
February 17, 2010 @ 6:37 pm
Thank you for this advice – I’ll do some visualization tonight – both of my day and my work space. (Sorry for not being back at this page sooner to check! You are so prompt! And I’ve been so distracted)
I think the best things for my day will be 1) not having to commute; 2) a reasonable amount of silence (noise is one of my worst problems at my office); 3) always a good lunch! I really like the idea of once I have the hang of a full day at my ‘office’ to introduce a regular distraction (for you snowboarding, for me like a run or a bike ride).
My work space will be a harder nut to crack (I might have to share an office with my husband) but I’m going to make it happen. I just got my bonus from last year (!) and I’m going to put it away as first pay for my new business.
Mark Said,
February 17, 2010 @ 7:42 pm
If possible, skip ‘sharing’ the office…even if you and your husband are complete lovebirds! ;)
OR maybe spread out a lot if you have the room or perhaps consider a movable partition. ‘Bringing work home’ – while a great idea – is change. And change shakes up the box, for better and worse.
I ran a business with my S/O for six years and we shared a loft for an office. It really paid off to ‘go to our respective corners’ even during the best of times and when we were working on the same projects.
Just a thought,
M
Kelly Said,
February 19, 2010 @ 7:02 pm
Separate offices aren’t probably going to be an option so I’ll just have to train him to be silent. :D
K
Jason Said,
February 25, 2010 @ 6:13 pm
You should re-think this! The absolute worst time in my life was when my wife and I shared an office. It almost drove us to divorce! I’m almost certain you will regret your decision to share an office, no matter how happy or convenient it seems now.
Kelly Said,
April 6, 2010 @ 4:42 pm
Update! I gave my notice yesterday and I’ll be leaving at the end of the month. There has been only limited distribution of the news (to those who need to know first) but everyone has been very supportive and it looks as though they will continue as one of my clients, at least temporarily. The home office hasn’t been completely set up yet but the good news is that although my husband and I will be sharing an office, we’ve decided to use the “Master” bedroom which is huge (about 4.9 x 3.6 m). Also, although he will have a desk there, the majority of his work will be out of the home. So it should be fine. And if it isn’t, we’ll do something different.
Oh, and as for the full pipeline of work…I have it for at least 4 months already. Probably longer. And part of that will continue through the fall. By then, I should be able to have a few other clients that will be reasonably steady (there is a need in my area). Woot!
I’m feeling very positive about this and I appreciate all of the advice! Thank you!
Bo Said,
May 16, 2010 @ 1:32 pm
Hey there Dear Abbey of the Workplace ; )
I greatly enjoy reading through your blog and a lot of what I read was truly inspiring and will definetly find a way to my workplace. I came across your side by linking to your page about how to deal with conflict at work.
In your last paragraph you refer to a particular tricky conflict that needs special handling: one between you and a (bad) manager.
Since I did not find that post I was wondering if you can help me looking at a tricky situation just like that:
Imagine a situation where you have a young professional, first 12 months in the job, identified by his boss as a talent he wants to promote.
It turns out different and before this promotion can happen the young professional is looking at a change of superior. His new boss is setting the expectations straight after a few weeks, basically saying that no matter what, before another 12 months have past there will be no promotion.
In parallel to this it becomes apparent that with the change of superior comes a change in direction and way of leading. While before the employee was working self-dependent with his customers, and his decisions have been backed up by his boss who was always involved upfront, now every involvement starts a discussion about the suggested way foreward which usually ends with the order to do it differently. On some occasion this decision is then changed again (sometimes back to the original suggestion) when the boss gets addressed by the customer directly.
By acting this way as well as not giving clear direction in general it becomes increasingly hard for the employee to motivate himself for the tasks he has to fulfil. Due to constantly challenging the opinion and experience of the employee as well as not taking his suggestions into account it appears that his work is not valued.
The situation is at a point where the employee feels that constructive discussions on work-related topics, giving pros and cons as well as an opinion seem not to be welcome but especially if received as challenging provoke signals (non-verbal as well as verbal) that say: “Back off – I’m the boss” in a very defensive manner.
For the sake of the employees motivation as well as for the sake of solving the underlying conflict (as you said before that conflicts cannot be ignored…) – what’s your take on this situation?
Yours, curiously ;)
Guilla Said,
July 9, 2010 @ 7:24 am
I emailed you a question that really needs your attention. Do reply this time, please?
Ellen Said,
September 15, 2010 @ 2:42 am
Dear CHO
I first came across your website when I was at the end of my rope with my job. Your website makes it sound so positive an experience to quit your job and makes you feel like there is promise afterwards. I had been trying to find a way out of my job for over a year and could not find a new job. I was inspired to try for a better life like the people who wrote to you and I quit my job. It is five months since I quit and that feeling of a new life is over. I am running out of money and I am losing my will to live. I do not have a dream job or any dream at all anymore. I can’t find work and I am hoping you could provide some kind of hope for me.
Ryan Phillips Said,
November 14, 2010 @ 9:18 am
Hi Alexander,
Your blog is amazing!
So inspiring and full of life
We spend most of our time at work and it’s so important that we’ll be happy there but most people regards that as a toil or a burden
Good to have you here to show us the way!
Ryan Phillips Said,
November 14, 2010 @ 9:37 am
By the way, another tip I wanted to add, especially for people who are dealing with sales or customer service.
Those workers are sometimes fixated upon few customers and start loosing touch on being in communication with people in general, a thing that impedes their work. They may start to hate people, just by the close contact and high dependence on few clients.
The solution is simply to take a walk in a place where there are a lot of people and just look at people. Soon you will start feeling interested in people and you will feel you love them.
Works for me every time!
Best,
Ryan
The Office Signs Man
Meimi Said,
December 28, 2010 @ 11:42 pm
I never thought that there would be other persons rather than me who thought “The customer is always right.” is wrong.
Being in the programming job, I was always told that the customer is always right, until the customer and all my boss thought that their only employee and programmer (yours truly) is right, and the customer is wrong.
They even forgot about respecting me in front of clients as the one who knows better than them when it comes on the job. They make me look like a fool (like a kid who doesn’t understand what the client is talking about) while they try to be the “best guy” even if everything that comes out from their mouth is so wrong and unacceptable.
I finally left the job, but is regretting on how martyr I am to decline job interview and offers. I regretted the time I spent with that company, waiting for a salary increase and better treatment.
But I learned my lesson. And I was so happy I found your blog! I hope the company I left would realize how important it is to consider the word “respect” to their employees.
Meimi Said,
December 29, 2010 @ 12:15 am
I need to ask this one. There are people telling me that “People work to be productive in life.” But I believe that “People work for money.” And by that I believe that…
- People don’t need to go to work if he has lots of money or if he doesn’t want to. It would be up to him if he wants to have a work to have something to do.
- People goes to work to get pay checks. And of course, he has to be productive in work and do his best as an employee.
The people who are trying to make me believe that “People work to be productive in life.” actually told me that…
- People go to work so they won’t be idle.
- To help other people. And compensation is an extra because you help others.
- Money is not important in life. What is important is that you have something to do.
- That what is important is you do your best at work, give your all and be productive.
They are not actually mentioning about money or salary, as if they are willing to be on a job without any salary. They are business leaders/boss/self-employed persons in a family.
Can you please enlighten me if they are correct and whether I am wrong… Am I missing something?
Thanks.
ajay sachdev Said,
March 28, 2011 @ 9:04 pm
Hi Alexander,
after going through your blog probably in 2009, i have waiting to rekindle my organization into One Big HAPPY Organization. And for the first time, i have been given a chance to present in our National Conference in Pune (India) on April 5th 2011, about how to make Happy Workplace. Any ideas or any thoughts or any framework you can suggest that i can present to 400 colleagues to start thinking about, how we ALL CAN begin this happy journey.
I am also going to suggest them for Most HAPPY Division AWARD for 2011-12 in next annual conference.
Also planning to design happy stationery for leaders…
I happily look forward to your happy ideas.
thanks AK.
happily yours,
ajay
Jessica Said,
April 21, 2011 @ 11:55 pm
HI A,
I have to choose between I job I don’t really enjoy and a job where my boss is a jerk, which i found out this week. Any advice? I work both right now but cannot keep it up… at the job I dont really enjoy I was recommended by a friend and my boss (who turned out to be a selfish manipulative prick) used to be a friend who i’ve lost all respect for.
I’m extremely miserable at the moment and have been trying to decide for weeks which is the best option…I’m exhausted and emotionally wiped out. I’m getting pressure from every end including myself to make a decision- the right one…
Jessica Said,
April 21, 2011 @ 11:58 pm
It’s a complicated situation…this is the first time i’ve noticed and immidiately recognized my boss friend bullying me…the hours are good, I used to enjoy working with him but now it’s hard for me to look at him the same way. Unfortunatly, I gave my word to work for him before this bullying began…
On the other hand, I work a job I don’t really enjoy with a new team that I was recommended to by a friend and this could be a good connection for the future…who knows?
I don’t want to burn any bridges but I need to cut one job out before I go crazy.
Minah Gwon Said,
May 17, 2011 @ 8:48 am
Hi, I’m Minah Gwon from South Korea.
I’am working for Daegu(one of the city in Korea) Bank as an Internship Program Participant.
Why I write this letter is,as you seen title of the letter, is to ask about how to measure Happiness at work.
I want to make questionnaire for Happiness at work. so, I reveiwed a lots of thesis and article, also some kind of tools for measuring Happiness at work.
Most prevailing model for Happiness at work is iPPQ. and I guess their starting point to measure Happiness at work is to get relationship engagement and happiness
So, I wll apply to that work process as they did.
First, I will ask about a lots of question related to Happiness at work. Those question will stem from lots of research already done. and then End of the question, I will ask overall their happiness at work. Finally I’ll see the correlation between score of these question and score of Happiness. If any correlation are, I’ll choose that questions
And, I’ll finish to consist the questionnaire with those questions which is related to scores overall Happiness. Also, I’ll use frame for this questionnair by applying to frame suggested by “Measuring Happiness at Work Place”, written by Dibyojyoti Bhattacharjee & Maumita Bhattcharjee, was addressed in ASBM Journal of Management, 2010. then I’ll measure their Happiness at work.
Is it OK to measure it?
due to the scarce of ability to write English, I don’t know You will understand what I want to ask you.
I hope you answer about my asking. That will improve measurement for Happiness at work in Korea.
Thank you
Emily Said,
June 13, 2011 @ 4:11 pm
Hi,
I work at a great company, I’ve worked here for many years. I love my manager he’s great. In the past year I switched departments and I sit next to this girl, the only girl in my dept. Background – We used to be friendly at one point and have lunch and what not. We’re complete opposites. I got pregnant, went out on maternity leave came back and she had befriended someone new and pretty much left me in the dust which is perfectly fine because in all honestly she did a lot of annoying things and still does. Now she’s just very rude to me here and there. She’ll just go on the attack and insult my intelligence. You can tell she’s insecure and she’s always comparing herself to other women. She’s the authority on everything. We still occasionally chit chat but the other day was the last straw she insulted me, i usually just blow it off but this was where i had just had enough. I’m done. She makes so much noise, she’s constantly tapping stuff on her desk, burping, chewing food like a monster, she comes in every morning and proceeds to tell this older man all her man issues and her running stories, and then goes around and tells everyone else the same stories, it’s just so annoying. I’ve just stopped talking to her, i don’t want to deal with her rude insults anymore. My question is how do I exist in this environment without getting annoyed or making things awkward? I try to just put my headphones on and just ignore… I’ve never in my life ever been so insulted and annoyed by anyone.
Thanks
Diiego N Said,
July 8, 2011 @ 9:01 am
You sound like a Mr Smith in the matrix. “But the arguments and explanations put forward in The Secret are alternately unscientific, mystical, nonsensical or just plain wrong.”
Isaac Said,
July 12, 2011 @ 2:33 am
Hey Alexander,
I love your work my friend, you are AWESOME.
I would really like it if you could help me out?
Could I chat to you about how you went about promoting yourself to big organisations to get to speaking in front of them. I am doing much similar stuff with individualised work on health and happiness inside and outside the workplace to improve productivity and profit.
I would really appreciate your expertise and help with my projects so we can help lift the happiness in the world.
Thanks very much Alexander!
I can’t wait to hear from you!
Susi Said,
August 13, 2011 @ 9:54 am
Hi Alex!
Recently, I am alien in my own nation. I work happily, as I explore and learn new things every single day. I’ve been working here more than 10 years and going up from a general secretary person to business process management. In between I stepped to many interesting positions.
Since three years ago I noticed most of employee lost their enthusiasm for their job. As I still on the beat they think the company pays me more higher than anybody else (which is totally not true). Today, with a group of business process management people (well, there only six people), we want to make more people happy at work as we do.
I easily influence my division, as they are open minded people. I want to spread the energy to the rest of the corporation, but most people think I am nuts. Is there any easier way to influence people? Most of them hate their job, suspicious to each other, wants more money, hates procedures, don’t talk to each other. Man, I grow up here, and I don’t want this company become this way.
The upper management thought we have process and technology issue and keep fixing it. Later on they tried several motivator to motivate staffs. But I don’t think they need it. They don’t need someone who makes them stand up and move their legs and hands, and shout some words. I think we need you. I tried to propose a carrier couch, spoke person coincidentally also named Alexander Sriewijono to HR Department, but they refused, and again bring a motivator in the house.
We have people issue here. I am reading your book which finally arrived three days ago, and want to start a project happy at work. But this his a huge company, around 1000 staffs. Don’t know where to start. Please advise.
Thanks.
Susi
Andrea Said,
November 13, 2011 @ 3:02 pm
It’s interesting to read everyone’s experience here and I find myself in the same situation where most of my problems are due to the power imbalance.
I directly report to the VP, and have experienced a problem that I believe is common in the work place. Unfortunately, our organization does not have an HR position, so the only management to report this issue to is the President.
The situation:
In a meeting, the President assigns me a task and the assigns the VP another. I was also tasked with coordinating follow-up meetings to discuss the VP’s project. I got on that immediately, but the VP kept delaying it by assigning pre-writing tasks to me, which I happily completed until one day I try to nail down a time to speak with him and he surprises me with: “Well, we need to have written something down before. Where is the final product?” In other words, he blamed me for not completing the work he was assigned. This later puts me behind in completing my own work, having to work weekends with no compensation just to meet the deadline. When I told him that this was not communicated to me; he said that he thought he made it clear but since I was so busy it must have slipped through the cracks.
The last time a boss have acted in such unethical, immoral manner, I reported him to the President (previous president) and this boss was fired. However, the power dynamic is different this time. As much as I want to let it pass, I feel that this is not the best way to move forward as it’s affecting my trust and relationship with this boss.
Do I report him to the President?
Oddly Said,
December 13, 2011 @ 11:18 pm
What would you do if you were just promoted to a different position and hated going to work after that? My old position is filled and they ordered business cards and have my own office with name on the door; they say it will take me two years before I wll be comfortable… Comfortable aside, I don’t like this new position! What should I do??
Sam Said,
December 16, 2011 @ 3:23 am
Hi Alex,
What advice do you have for someone who knows she should quit her job, but she’s only been there three months? Deep down I knew during the interview that the job wouldn’t be a good fit, but I needed a job. How do you turn down a job in today’s job market? On paper, I’m a perfect fit. I have the right education and experience. It was an upward movement for me. I should be the happiest person on earth. Instead, I find myself crying all the time and wishing I could find another job. No one in my family, including my husband, understands why I can’t just stick with it until it gets better. I don’t think it will get better. I don’t even know if I’m truly qualified for this job and I really don’t care anymore. Anyway, how would I explain why I am looking for a job after being in my current one for only three months?
Thanks for the great site,
Sam
Lawrence Grant-Lapre Said,
January 1, 2012 @ 8:18 am
A new job can be like climbing Mt Everest. There is alot of bloody work just to keep attempting to gain ground and the peak seems to keep moving further away as you put in. There is no guarantee that when you reach the peak you will get fine weather, in fact, once you are there you might experience a blizzard. All in all, the turkeys can make life difficult for you, the jerks at work can do everything to gang up on you and make you feel as if you are not the right person for the job. Take heart Sam. My strong suggestion is to meditate early each morning for 20-40 minutes. The noise at work will become tolerable once you are able to import the skill of meditation into your workplace. The every NOW moments you endure become easier for you to put the noise on the hallways of life and observe it and move on without letting it get under your skin. It simple wafts past as a picture on the hallway of life, then enjoy the opportunity to experience LIFE, wherever you are, no matter what circumstances you find yourself. You will then move towards Leasdership and rise above the circumstances and enjoy the day with no more crying at night. You can do it! Stay Happy Sam. :)
Jo Said,
April 16, 2012 @ 7:56 am
Hi,
Need to know about some fun games for a small team of mine of 30 employees and also I have a space constraint. So looking for a game that can be easily played in a small place.
Thanks,
Jo
sajad Said,
May 20, 2012 @ 7:56 am
Hi,
I am student at master level(human resource management) in tarbiyat modares university of iran.
I need questions to measure happiness at work.
Thanks,
Sajad
damoon nozari Said,
May 28, 2012 @ 10:50 am
Hi Dear sajad
my name is damoon nozari
i am working on happiness at work in IRAN.
please contact with me via email.
i have experienced happiness measurement in iran.
Be Happy.
Bye
KB Said,
July 7, 2012 @ 3:34 am
I’m sure lots of people have this kind of situation.
We have problems, and local management is keeping information to itself and not attempting to cope and not allowing the entire group to cope openly.
Here’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. We’re in a non-profit that is being drastically re-organized. Recently the uber budget-guru (above the local manager) cut 3 out of 6 in one work group, 2 out of 6 in another, and so on. In short, any vacant post was permanently de-funded. Since we hadn’t been allowed to fill any vacancies for more than three years due to the economic situation, there were lots of them. The local manager oversees about 5 such groups.
I was told (since I was trying to set goals and make plans, and needed to know what my staffing resources would be) that these cuts have happened; however, no mention has yet been made to all, and I was asked to keep quiet about it. Most of the staff think that these are open positions that will eventually be filled, not completely lost positions.
What we hear when we ask about positions and the future is stuff like “We’ll see.” “Uncertainty is the new normal, we’ll have to get used to it.” “We’re all in the same boat, just trying to cope.”
However, there is no uncertainty about it. The posts are gone. We might all be in the same boat, but some of us are blindfolded. And we are not all trying to cope the same way, many staff are just waiting for things to “get better” because they haven’t been told that they won’t. They have no opportunity to plan for this “new normal” because they have not been told about what normal is. As far as they know, normal is now what normal has been for several years–being unable to fill vacant positions. There is hope that after the re-org is complete things will be different. I now know that the difference is that there is no hope of ever getting back to former staffing levels.
I guess what frustrates me is the lack of frankness. I like to look problems in the eye and deal with them. Expectations need to change– both on the part of staff, who need to know that they are not going to get new colleagues to help with the backlog of work, and on the part of our local manager, who is going to have to make some choices about priorities.
Is there something I can do to encourage an open discussion of the staffing situation and resetting of priorities? I’d like to just throw up my hands and walk away, and I’ve been looking for another job, but I’ve got elderly parents (moving away is not a great idea) and and a narrow area of specialty (so jobs that pay for my skill level are not abundant locally).
Managers presumably get more money because they manage–so why don’t they? I hate this “managing up” stuff. The local manager is not a bad person, not full of bad intentions, but I have colleagues who are near the breaking point.
I don’t report directly to this manager (I report to someone who runs 3 of the 5 work groups). My direct superior has tried to get more openness but has not been successful.
Apologies that this is such a long question!
Thanks for any help you can offer.