Non-inspirational quotes

Got this in the mail today. Pretty funny!

Top 20 Sayings we’d like to see on those office inspirational posters:
1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all people who opposed them.

2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos…then you probably haven’t completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity…probably has a scapegoat.

7. Plagiarism saves time.

8. If at first you don’t succeed, try management.

9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

10. TEAMWORK…means never having to take all the blame yourself.

11. The beatings will continue until morale improves.

12. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

13. We waste time, so you don’t have to.

14. Hang in there, retirement is only fifty years away!

15. Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker

16. A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.

17. When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

18. INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.

19. Succeed in spite of management.

20. Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

6 thoughts on “Non-inspirational quotes”

  1. very funny got me through the day with something to think about other than the retarded people that i work with

  2. I’m glad you liked it. My personal favorite is number 4!

    And I’m sorry to hear about the jerks in your company. In my experience most people are really nice, but once in a while you get a higher-than-average concentration of not-so-nice people in one place.

    I think it’s because misery attracts company, and it sucks to be stuck there!

  3. OMG! I laughed until I cried reading these, then I had to show my co-workers. These are fantastic! I’m going to be doing a presentation on “How to Work with Difficult People” and I will definitely be citing your web site and I’m going to buy your book. If it’s anything like your website I’m going to need a box of kleenex for when I read it and the tissues won’t be for tears of sadness, but for tears of humor. = D

    Thanks Alexander for showing the flip side of working 9 to 5.

  4. No.12 really cracked me up. And it’s so true too. It’s my fb status now (after 3-4 months with no update).

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