“When you argue with reality, you lose. But only 100% of the time.”
This quote by Byron Katie sums up the central message of her book “Loving what is“. The book is about The Work, a very simple process developed by the author, to help people inquire about their own beliefs and thinking.
The process is astonishingly simple. For every stressful thought, ask yourself these four questions:
1: Is it true?
2: Can I absolutely know that it’s true?
3: How do I react when I think that thought?
4: Who would I be without that thought?
And then you “turn the statement around”. The process is described in depth at thework.org.
Continue reading Book review: Loving what is
This book is about the fears that we all have in our lives to some degree. Fear of failing. Fear of succeeding. Fear of decisions. Fear of aging, of loss or of helplessness.
The books basic premise is, that your aim should not be to get rid of your fears. You should feel your fear, but not let it stop you from doing things you really want to do.
The book describes three levels of fear. The first level is the actual event that you fear – say losing you job. The second level is the deeper fear, triggered by the first level – eg. rejection (if being fired would make you feel rejected). Beneath that on the third level there’s only one fear: The fear that you won’t be able to cope. If you knew in advance that you could take it, there would be nothing to be afraid of. So all fear reduces to fear of not being able to cope.
Continue reading Book review: Feel the fear and do it anyway
The next lot of books arrived from Amazon yesterday, and I speed-read the first one in a couple of hours.
This book is the sequel to “getting to yes”. The first book outlines the classic techniques for skillful, issue-based negotiations. The sequel, subtitled “Negotiating with difficult people”, presents strategies you can use when the methods from the first book don’t work.
The book’s only 140 pages long, but well presented, well structured and with lots of illustrative case stories from difficult negotiations. And hey, it’s 6$ at Amazon. Read the two books, if negotiation is a part of your life – and isn’t it always?
There’s a new series on TV2 about anger management. It turns out that in most cases where we danes are hopping mad inside, we try hard to maintain a calm exterior.
Which got me thinking: Might this also be going on at work..?
Continue reading Anger management
How about an MBTI test that only takes a couple of minutes? I tried it, and in just four questions it figured out that I’m an ENFP. I’ve tried other MBTI tests that had a lot more questions, and they gave the same result. Try it.
When and how do people change? And when do they get stuck in situations and problems that seem hopeless? This is the focus of this book, Change: Principles of Problem Formation and Problem Resolution.
The book is based on the authors’ experiences with brief therapy. Unlike traditional psychotherapy, which tries to uncover the “deeper” causes of problems, brief therapy focuses on solving peoples current problems. Why spend years of therapy going back to the hypothetical root cause of some problem, when what you really need to do, is get rid of the issue now. And even IF you find the cause of the problem, you still haven’t solved it.
The authors claim to have helped 80% of their clients in 4 sessions or less!
Continue reading Book review: Change
Walking down the street, it’s easy to fall into the habit of noticing all the things you don’t like. The next time you’re out shopping, driving your car or just walking around somewhere, try this simple exercise to break the habit…
Continue reading Exercise: See the stuff you like