The Chief Happiness Officer Blog

Category: Happy At Work

How to be happy at work

  • Find Your Quitting Point

    Find Your Quitting Point

    Check out this comment from a reader in Hong Kong:

    I’ve been visiting your site on and off for quite a while now.

    I’ve been miserable at work and, although it took me almost a year, I eventually built up the courage, and I’ve finally quit my job!!

    I think it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made!

    I’m now working out my one-month notification period…then hopefully go on a vacation to Europe with my family…then travel to Beijing to visit my love….

    And most of all, I’ve found a new job too! No one knows how it’ll go, but a change is definitely due and I’m looking forward to a fresh start.

    Your site has definitely pushed me on.

    :) One happy Office Lady in Hong Kong

    First of all: Wooo-hooooo! Good for you, Office Lady, and good luck in the new job!

    This of course raises an interesting question: How do you know it’s time to quit a bad job?

    Should you quit at the first sign of trouble? As in “The cafeteria doesn’t have Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee and besides the boss gave me a funny look at the last staff meeting – I’m outta here!”

    Or do you only quit when all hope is gone. “Yes, I know my boss is a total jerk, my salary is lousy and my co-workers just covered my cubicle in mayonnaise-smeared saran wrap for the third time this week. But you never know – things might get better tomorrow!”

    When is it time to quit? It’s a question I keep getting – and no wonder. Leaving a job has become one of life’s biggest decisions. It’s something that may affect every aspect of your life including your finances, your work life, your identity, your family and possibly even your social status and friendships.

    I’ve quit three different jobs in my career and in every single case my only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner. In two of those cases I quit without having the next job lined up – it was simply time for me to move on NOW!

    It seems most of us tend to stay in bad jobs waaaaay too long. I have talked to any number of people who have told me some variation of “I quit my job last year and my only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.” However, not a single person has ever told me that “I quit my job last year and it was a huge mistake. I should definitely have stayed on.”

    This does not mean that it’s always the right decision to quit, but it does show that when in doubt, most of us stay on in bad jobs. Perhaps longer than is good for us.

    We’ve been told that quitting your job is bad because:

    • It makes you look less dependable to your next employer.
    • It costs you money.
    • It reduces your status.
    • Quitting means giving up – and that’s bad. You should stay and slog it out.

    And this may all be true or not, but here’s a question you must also ask yourself: What will staying in a bad job cost you? Because make no mistake: A bad work situation can cost you your energy, motivation, self-worth and even your health. Worst case, it can kill you.

    Worst of all, staying in a bad job where you repeatedly feel demeaned or useless robs you of precisely those things you need to move on and find a new job. To actually get up and go out and find new work or finding the courage to quit without having the next job lined up takes energy, motivation, passion and confidence.

    How do you know..?

    Which brings us back to the original question: How do you know?

    First of all: You will never know for sure. It’s not like you can calculate the exact optimal moment to quit your job. It will always be a judgment call, and like any other major decision in life, it’s not so much about making the right decision – it’s more about making a decision and then making it the right decision.

    Secondly: You probably do know. Call it intuition, gut feeling, inner wisdom – if it’s time to quit, then somewhere inside of you a voice is probably going “I hate my job. It’s time to quit.” The trick is to listen to that voice.

    That voice is often very quiet and very easy to quell. You’re maybe at work, in the middle of a meeting or an important task when suddenly you get the feeling that you really, really need to find a new job. That’s certainly not productive in the moment – right then you need to focus on whatever it is you’re doing. Also, as mentioned above, having to quit is a scary proposition. So you ignore that feeling and focus on work.

    I firmly believe that you’re doing no one a favor by staying if you’re not happy at work. Not yourself, not your family and certainly not the company. The rare exception is the case where your or your families survival or fundamental welfare is at stake. If quitting a bad job means your family becomes homeless, the choice is clear – you stay until you have a better job lined up.

    Barring this, it’s simple: If your job does not make you happy you should first try to fix it. If there’s no realistic hope that you ever will, it’s time to get out of Dodge.

    The upshot

    So here are my top six tips for finding your quitting point:

    1. Give up the idea that you can know for sure whether or not it’s time to quit. It’s always going to be a leap.
    2. Listen to your intuition. Your gut may know before your mind.
    3. Remember what quitting can cost you – but also remember what staying in a bad job can cost you!
    4. Remember that the longer you stay in a bad job, the harder it gets to leave.
    5. Most people stay too long in bad jobs – mostly because they fear the uncertainty that comes with quitting.
    6. Most people, once they’ve quit, find that their situation improves. Maybe not immediately, but certainly after a few months.

    What about you? Have you tried quitting a job? What was your quitting point? What happened – did you end up regretting it or being happy that you finally quit? Write a comment – I’d really like to know!

    Related:

  • Quote

    Play at workThe Master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his education and his recreation, his love and his religion.

    He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence in whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he is always doing both.

    – James Michener, quoted in this fantastic article about play at work (thx for the tip, Sridhar)

    I agree totally and this is very much how I live my life these days. I perceive no real distinction between work, play and leisure.

    Interestingly, this clashes with many of the recommendations around work/life balance, which often revolve around creating firm barriers between work and not-work. I previously wrote about why we shouldn’t seek work/life balance but work/life integration.

    If you want to know more about play at work, check out Junkyard Sports and their excellent Junkyard Golf Conference Kickstarter kit. It’s a fun way to introduce play to even the most serious gathering.

  • Get more sleep- be happier at work

    Sleep and happiness at work

    I think we’ve all experienced how getting too little sleep makes us tired and crabby. So it can hardly be a good thing that:

    • 8 out of 10 Americans report at least one negative professional side-effect of getting a poor night’s sleep
    • Only 27 percent of Americans get the recommended eight hours of sleep each work night
    • 17 percent of Americans only get 5 hours of sleep Monday through Friday (Studies show that getting only 5 hours of sleep per night for a week induces an impairment level equal to a blood alcohol level of 0.1 percent.)
    • Of the overwhelming majority of workers suffering from sleep deprivation, 44 percent say they experience bad moods and unfriendliness

    It’s a classic dilemma: We want to get more work done, so we work longer hours and sleep less. This in turn makes us less efficient at work, so we work even longer hours and sleep even less and, boom, you have a negative spiral going.

    Also, spending your work day being tired and irritable is not exactly the recipe for happiness at work :o) What good is it to make your day an hour or two longer by sleeping less, if losing that sleep means you can’t really enjoy your day?

    The Better Sleep Council has some very specific tips on how you can increase productivity by getting the sleep you need, including:

    1. Pay your sleep debt. It’s important to schedule 8 hours of sleep each night (7.5 to 8.5 is optimal) and maintain a regular sleep and wake schedule, even on the weekend.
    2. Bedroom business. Use your bedroom for sleep and sex only.
    3. Kick the caffeine habit. Avoid tea, coffee and soft drinks close to bedtime.

    Or maybe the solution is different for you. According to a new movement called the B-Society, some people are just not made to function optimally early in the morning. Even if they do get 8 hours of sleep, they only really kick into gear around 10 in the morning, and businesses should cater to these people also.

    The first Danish company has just been b-certified, meaning they acknowledge that this is how some people work, and structure their jobs accordingly.

    To me this is just common sense. Few business really need every employee to show op around the same time and could they just as easily leave this up to the individual employee, so they can decide what works best for them.

    That will certainly make them happier at work!

    Related:

  • Ask the CHO: Happy companies and happy cultures

    Ask the Chief Happiness OfficerI got this question from a reader who would like to be anonymous:

    As you travel around on your speaking engagements, and you work with and meet a variety of people, are you able to get a sense of what companies are really committed to the concepts you espouse? If yes, have you thought about, or do you have a listing or directory of these companies? If no, is there interest in drumming up such a directory, sort of a Who’s Who of Happiness?????

    I for one am interested; and, I have passed your information along to all my colleagues — hence the reason I would like to remain anonymous. Yes, I am looking to leave my very unhappy situation. In fact, I recently used your interview questions on more than one occasion to suss out whether or not a prospective company was the right fit for me.

    I would also like to know if geographics and culture play a part in whether or not a company or corporation — and its leadership — are more apt to implement, maintain and sustain a Happiness Workplace. For example, in the US we are seeing less and less of a work/life balance. A culture that puts work before family and personal life seems like it might not value happiness, so I am curious to learn if there are factors popping up that indicate culture and work ethics play a part.

    Thank you, CHO, for your time and great work!

    First of all, thanks for the kind words :o)

    I work with a LOT of companies, and I do get a very good sense of which ones are truly committed to happiness at work and which ones just say they are.

    Because almost every company these days will tell you that they want motivated, happy, empowered employees, but not all companies live up to it in practice.

    Working with managers and people, I quickly get an idea of where a company really stands – and that could definitely be put into a listing of sorts. Or maybe something like a certification? As in “this company is certifiably happy” :o) Not a bad idea!

    As for your second question: Yes, geography and national culture certainly makes a difference. For instance, because taxes in Denmark are the highest in the world, fewer people bother with overwork and consequently Danish workers achieve the best work/life balance in the world.

    Also, according to the work of Geert Hofstede, there are differences between corporate cultures in various nations, which he categorizes using five parameters:

    • Low vs. High Power Distance
    • Individualism vs. collectivism
    • Masculinity vs. femininity
    • Uncertainty avoidance
    • Long vs. short term orientation

    Read more about these here.

    In my opinion, happiness at work is more likely to be found in an organizational culture that has:

    • Low power distance – so you can have good easy-going relations between managers and employees
    • A reasonable balance between individualism and collectivism- so it’s not all about me, but not all about us either
    • A more feminine work culture – so people care about each other
    • A low uncertainty avoidance – so people are willing to take risks and make mistakes
    • A long term orientation – so it’s not all about this quarter’s results

    I have no proof for this and have seen no studies on it, so this is purely my gut feeling. However, this is pretty much what characterizes Scandinavian business culture, and Scandinavian workers are the happiest in the world, so there may be something there…

    One thing that also varies between nations is people’s expectations for happiness at work. In Scandinavia we have a long tradition of focusing in employees’ welfare, so most people expect to get a job they will at least like, of not love.

    In other countries, most people are still new to the idea that it’s even possible like your job – they expect work to be hard and unpleasant. Fortunately this is changing all over the world, and more and more people are choosing happiness at work.

    Related:

  • Monday Tip: Get som gourmet coffee (or tea)

    The Chief Happiness Officer's monday tipsWhat would happen, if just for one day the regular, anonymous coffee in your workplace had been replaced by some kind of delicious gourmet brew?

    Maybe some Indian Willoughby AA, some Sumatran Green Mountain or if you’re feeling especially adventurous, how about some weasel coffee where the coffee beans have been eaten and then chucked up by weasels. No, I’m not kidding.

    That’s your Monday mission this week. Hit up your corner coffee shop for some good coffee and enjoy that in the office. If you print out a little sign explaining the new coffee and what kind it is – even better!

    Of course, this works with tea too :o)

    The Chief Happiness Officer’s Monday tips are simple, easy, fun things you can do to make yourself and others happy at work and get the work-week off to a great start. Something everyone can do in five minutes, tops. When you try it, write a comment here to tell me how it went.

    Previous monday tips.

  • Secret salaries revisited

    Secret salaries

    A while back I wrote about keeping salaries secret in the workplace and why I think it’s just a darned silly idea. It’s easily the most controversial post I’ve ever written, with 70% of the (many) commenters disagreeing vehemently. I posted a comment round-up as well.

    Now Elana Centor revisits the issue in a post called The Last Frontier: Sharing Your Salary With Co-workers. She also finds that the idea of sharing salary information is not widely accepted.

    Talk to most employee consultants and they say talking about salaries with co-workers is a bad idea.

    My online search found just one consultant who agrees with me – Alexander Kjerulf who consults on how to be happy at work.

    She cites some interesting articles. One horrible, horrible article on USAToday keeps telling us to never discuss our salaries – without ever once mentioning why. Except of course that it’s more convenient for the boss if you don’t.

    It also blithely tells the story of an employee who was nearly fired for talking salary – even though US law explicitly says that “employers cannot interfere with, restrain or coerce employees in exercising their rights to discuss their wages, hours, and other terms and conditions of employment for their mutual aid or protection.”

    More relevant is a CNN article that tells us to proceed with caution, but at least acknowledges that sharing salary information can be useful.

    More tellingly, one commenter tells the story of finding a fax with all her co-workers salaries in it. The result: She is frustrated because she feels she is paid too little relative to her co-workers – but she can’t complain because she can’t admit to knowing their salaries.

    I’m still convinced that keeping salaries secret is bad for both employees and businesses. It may seem easier and more convenient here and now, but the net result is an increased focus on compensation.

    The question is of course how we break the taboo – it seems that in some workplaces talking about how much money you make is akin to discussing your sexual preferences. Any ideas?

  • Do you REALLY need a degree to be happy?

    Cap and diplomaLeandro from Brazil wrote in with a classic and crucial question: Do you need a college degree to be successful? Leandro is 21 and currently studies computer engineering and does NOT like it. His parents think he absolutely needs the degree – he doesn’t :o)

    My take: No. You don’t need a college degree to be happy and successful.

    I myself have a university degree (a masters in computer science) – but I chose my studies 100% based on my interests at the time. I was a major geek and my studies let me do some pretty cool stuff.

    And while I would not have gotten my first “real” job without my degree, I would of course have gotten another job – even without the degree. And anyway, my first job sucked :o)

    Success

    I believe success comes from doing something that:

    1. You’re good at
    2. You like doing
    3. Someone is willing to pay you for

    You need all three. Does this such an area currently exist for you? Be realistic!

    If such an area does not currently exist, you can make one for yourself – and one way to do this is to study.

    But considering how many possibilities are out there, I refuse to believe that this can only be achieved by suffering through 4-5 years of boring, unpleasant studying, just so you can wave a piece of paper around after you graduate.

    Also, ask yourself this: If you truly do not enjoy your studies – how much can you possibly enjoy working in the same field later?

    For a long time we’ve been telling people that “Sure, studying is not much fun, but you just have to get through 4-5 years of it and then everything is gravy.” First of all, this rarely turns out to be true, and secondly, this tends to make higher education an exercise in conformity – not learning. Those who complete their studies are not necessarily the best and the brightest, but those most willing to knuckle under and do as they’re told.

    If I were in Leandro’s shoes, I would either:

    1. Find a way to make my studies fun. Study with some fun people, go for some fun classes, work on my strategies and the way I spend time.
    2. If that’s not possible, I’d witch to some kind of studies I really liked and found interesting or to a different school, where they didn’t make things as boring.
    3. Or alternatively get a job or start my own company and do something really cool

    What’s your take on this? Did you enjoy studying? How did you choose your studies? Are you happy and successful with or without a degree?

  • Open presentation in Stockholm on June 1st

    SwedenI’m giving a presentation about happiness at work in Stockholm on Friday June 1st at 9AM and I would LOVE to see you there!

    I’m doing this in cooperation with 4good, who are representing me in Sweden. Here’s a snippet from their invitation:

    Inhouse och 4good vill härmed bjuda in dig till ett exklusivt miniseminarie med Chief Happiness Officer Alexander Kjerulf, för första gången i Sverige!

    Alexander är en av världens främsta inspiratörer på temat arbetsglädje och work-life balance, han är en nytänkande entreprenör och författare till boken ???Happy Hour is 9 to 5 – How to love your job, love your life and kick butt at work???. Han driver också inspirationssiten och bloggen www.postivesharing.com med över 100.000 besökare varje månad.

    Vi är glada över att ha Alexander Kjerulf här på ett unikt Sverigebesök! Kom och lyssna till hans mycket intressanta åsikter och insikter om varför arbetsglädje är så viktigt för att driva framgångsrika företag. Varmt välkommen till en av vårens absoluta höjdpunkter på 4good! (read more).

    It will be held at the Scandic Continental on Klara Vattugränd 4. If you’re in Stockholm on Friday and would like to attend, send me an email, and I’ll make sure to put you on the guest list.

  • Passion at work

    Pursue the passion at workI just got an email from Brett Farmiloe, the founder of Pursue the Passion, who are up to something tremendously cool.

    This Summer, Brett and two recent college grads are doing a “14,000 mile, 3 month journey around the US to interview 200 people about the passion that propels them in their profession”.

    I really look forward to seeing what comes out of this! You can see their travel schedule, read the blog and if you know anyone who’s passionate about work (or if you yourself are) you should definitely tell Brett about it.

    I value passion very highly at work myself. Here’s how it works for me:

    1. I could never work on something I’m not passionate about. If a task or a project leaves me cold, no amount of money, coercion or feeling of duty can make me work on it.
    2. What’s more, I don’t work well with people who are not passionate. If a person is not enthusiastic and passionate about a project, I find it hard to trust them, because I don’t know what makes them tick.
    3. In my experience, passionate people get more work done. Waaaaaay more. It’s not even close.
    4. Passionate people are much more fun to work with. Compared to people who treat work as “just a job”, passionate people are a blast!

    What about you? Are you passionate about your work? Are the people you work with? Does passion matter to you? Write a comment, I’d really like to know :o)

  • Oil, salt and vinegar

    OilA simple, sincere “Thank you” can go a long way at work. As this story beautifully illustrates, Thank you‘s are part of the “oil”, the social lubricant, that makes for good relationships in the workplace.

    Oil, salt, and vinegar
    By Pilar Cambra
    Chief columnist for Expansión newspaper.

    Try this one day – any day, any normal, run-of-the-mill day: add up the time you spend complaining, grumbling, moaning – tacitly or explicitly – and the time you spend thanking and praising. Is there more vinegar than oil?…

    It happened some time ago, but the incident – as tiny as a grain of mustard- has remained in my memory…

    One day I was in a hurry (and late) for work, and parked my car lopsided in the company car park… “It doesn’t matter,??? I said to myself, “the bloke who uses the space next to me normally comes in on his motorbike!… So there’s plenty of room for him to park…???. And off I went, thinking no more of it…

    But it turns out that the colleague who parks next to me sometimes comes by motorbike, but others he comes by car. And on that particular day he had to choose his car: quite a large vehicle which, obviously, came nowhere near fitting into the small space I’d left for his motorbike…

    After a while, by which time I was engrossed in more pressing matters, I got a call from the car park attendant: “Mrs. Cambra?: Would you mind parking your car properly?… The user of the place next to you says he just can’t get his into the space you’ve left…???.

    I’ll confess: the sharp vinegar of bad temper surged up inside me… “I’m on my way!??? I told the attendant. And so I went down to the car park, huffing and puffing, of course, cursing the hassle, the interruption, and the bloody idea of my colleague to bring his bloody car instead of his bloody motorbike…

    Anyway: I moved my car into the exact space which it should take up and went back up to the office breathing fire, like St.George’s dragon… A few minutes later, I got another call: “Pilar? it’s your car park neighbour… I’m just calling to apologise for having to bother you and, of course, to thank you for moving your car so quickly… Thank you!???…

    I was so taken aback that I could barely speak… In the end, in the midst of a black sea of shame for my awful behaviour, my terrible thoughts and nasty complaining, I replied: “No, thank YOU – you’re a good person, there aren’t many left these days! I’m sorry and I promise you’ll never have any problems parking your car again???.

    Do you know what?: thanking someone seems to have fallen out of common use, become old-fashioned, out of step with our straight-talking and somewhat brusque times… In fact, it almost sounds naff… “Thank you???, we say; and right away, we shudder at the prospect of hearing the slimy voice, 1950’s radio presenter style, coming back at you with “no, madam…thank yoooouuuuu???… How jaw-clenchingly awful!…

    In the work environment the idea of “not owing anyone anything??? is held up and honoured: the more independent we are, the more manly (or womanly) we feel… Thanking people for favours, small or large; for support, minimal or huge; for services, inconsequential or decisive; is a bit humiliating: as if turning to others when we need them weakens us, undermines our reputation as a super-exec-who-goes-it-alone…

    The oil of gratitude, gratitude which makes the cogs turn without squeaking, sliding smoothly and politely, falls far below the sharp vinegar of our complaining, protests, reproaches…

    As if vinegar makes us stronger, less vulnerable, more invincible… And I’m not saying that complaining, if it is fair and necessary, is not a fundamental part of keeping justice in the workplace… But, just like in a salad dressing, a few drops may be enough. Mainly so we don’t drown out the salt, of our cordial lives, of working with a smile on our faces.

    Thank you to Jaizki Arteagabeitia Perea for finding this article in Spanish, for telling me about it and for arranging to have it translated into English. And of course thanks to Pilar for giving her permission to reproduce it here!

    The article was translated by the nice people at contentspanish.com. Thanks!!

    Related: