If you ever find yourself saying…
There are some negative phrases we’ve heard so often at work, that we may suddenly find ourselves saying them. They represent a frame of mind that is cynical, despondent, helpless and victimized.
Research shows that what we say reinforces what we think. Say something often enough, and it becomes how you see the world. That’s why we have to watch out for these pessimistic phrases. If you ever find yourself saying them, stop and ask yourself if it actually represents the truth or if maybe it’s more of an automatic verbal uttering.
Some pessimistic phrases to avoid
Here’s a partial list of phrases to watch for. Do you know any that belong on the list?
“It’s not my dream job, but it’s only for a year…”
ONLY A YEAR? Don’t you realize that a year is 12 months? 200 working days? 1600 hours?
Say this instead: “It’s not the ideal job, so I didn’t take it.”
“He’s a jerk, but he gets results!”
Yeah, HE gets results – everybody else gets demotivated, bullied, harassed and stressed. Go read The No Asshole Rule by Bob Sutton. And his excellent blog.
Say this instead: “He’s a jerk, so we fired him!”
“Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”
Murphy’s law. The safe haven for pessimists everywhere. Too bad it ain’t true.
Say this instead: “Things may go wrong – then we fix them!”
“My boss doesn’t motivate me.”
Listen: No boss ever motivated a single employee in the history of employment. Motivation is an emotion – your motivation exists inside you, and you’re in charge of it.
Say this instead: “I motivate me.”
“I hate my job – but so does everyone else.”
Hating your job may be a common enough thing today – but so is adult onset diabetes. That doesn’t mean you don’t do something about it!
Say this instead: “I hated my job. So I got a new one.” or “I hated my job, so I fixed it.”
“There’s no such thing as a free lunch”
Except that there is. Plenty. The world is a generous, forgiving and nurturing place, and sometimes you get exactly what you need exactly when you need it.If you’re open to it, that is.
Say this instead: “Can I buy you lunch?”
“What’s wrong with people today?!”
If every single person you interact with seems incredibly annoying… the problem may be you.
Say this instead: “Hmmm… I seem to be easily annoyed today.”
“I’m stuck in a dead-end job.”
Riiight. You’re stuck. There’s no way out. Because three men in ski-masks show up every morning and force you to go to work at gunpoint.
Say this instead: “I am where I’ve chosen to be! And if I want, I can choose to be somewhere else.”
“Let’s not get carried away!”
WHAT?! There is nothing better than being carried away by a great idea, nice people, a fun meeting or a good conversation.
Say this instead: “This is wonderful!”
“It’s too good to be true!”
Funny how you never hear people saying “This is too bad to be true.”
Say this instead: “This is great. I love it!”
“What’s the catch?”
Sometimes there just ain’t no catch.
Say this instead: “Thank you!”
“You can’t trust people.”
Nonsense. Most people are nice, honest and loyal. Are you gonna treat them badly because of the tiny percentage of cheaters?
Say this instead: “People are great!”
The worst thing about these sayings, is that if you keep repeating them, you make it so. If that is how you see the world, then your choices, your speech and your actions will reinforce this view. That’s why it’s worth replacing them with something more true.
What about you – got any more pessimistic workplace sayings we can flush out and replace?
If you enjoyed this post, I’m pretty sure you’ll also like these:
Dirceu Pereira Tiegs Said,
January 10, 2007 @ 12:55 pm
Hello Alex,
About the “It’s not my dream job, but it’s only for a year…? phrase: a person can work on a not-so-good job for one year just to save enough money to do what he/she want, just for security.
Me, for example: I’m renting an apartment and paying a graduation course on a local university. If I want to change my focus from computers to, say, museums I really need to have money for security reasons.
I know about the advantages of low-rent living, but with zero money, no living. :-(
Please, talk more about this. And go on with the blog: it’s being, as always, very helpful.
Katy Said,
January 10, 2007 @ 1:45 pm
I seem to get “It’ll never work” when it really should be “Let’s try it and see what happens”. Another common one is “But nobody else is doing it so why should we?” when it should be “No one else is doing it? Great! Let’s be the first!
Great post Alexander :)
Michael Wagner Said,
January 10, 2007 @ 6:04 pm
Super post Alex!
I sometimes hear a variation that sounds like this, “I hate my job, but the benefits are too good to quit.”
Yuk!
Paternalism that says, “we’ll take care of you” is a sad exchange for living, dreaming and doing. Where’s the happiness in being “mothered” by the big corp?
Keep creating…I know YOU will,
Mike
Josh Bickford Said,
January 10, 2007 @ 8:08 pm
This is great! I love challenging the ideas that people have burned into their brains.
Never thought about a few of these, great post, thanks for sharing!
Michael's Thoughts Said,
January 10, 2007 @ 11:56 pm
Daily Report, Jan 11
Team Collaboration Cross Browser Support for SharePoint 2007 … Telerik released r.a.d.editor for SharePoint 2007, a rich text editor for SharePoint 2007 that enables users on non-Microsoft browsers to gain a full-fidelity experience. “This Web-based…
Anna Farmery Said,
January 11, 2007 @ 12:38 am
Great post Alex – I would add any sentence with the word….”but” and at the top of the list
I like your idea but… and replace with I like the idea how do you see it working with x….
Sara Said,
January 11, 2007 @ 3:44 am
Alex– Just wanted to let you know that I’m (hopefully) leaving the job that I’m loyal to, one that I’ve liked but never loved, to one that pays slightly less but in which I will be happy. I never had a wake-up call moment reading your blog that made me decide to do the switch, but I still feel that your blog had something to do with it. Every time I read your posts, in my head I balance happiness at work versus the other benefits, such as pay and prestige. After a while, the scale invariably tipped towards happiness. Thanks. :)
Meadow Said,
January 12, 2007 @ 7:16 pm
With what can we replace the phrase (and attitude!) of, “It’s not my job” and “I don’t have time” ?
Meadow
Ask the CHO: Should you work for a year in a job that sucks Said,
January 30, 2007 @ 12:16 pm
[...] In a previous post I argued against some commonly used phrases at work, including the idea that you can take a bad job “just for a year” to make some money. [...]
No good deed… Nah, scratch that! Said,
February 12, 2007 @ 8:03 pm
[...] Here are more phrases to avoid here. And some good phrases here that we should use more. [...]
Top 10 reasons why constant complaining is so toxic in the workplace Said,
August 7, 2007 @ 9:19 am
[...] Some negative phrases to avoid [...]
an Anonymous CEO Said,
August 31, 2007 @ 11:38 pm
Avoid the sentence “No.” is SO distructive!
If you want to say “No” – always use a sentence to explain the issue and why you can’t agree.
Oh and never say “I dont care” always say “I dont mind”
jessssssssssss Said,
February 25, 2008 @ 6:30 am
Start tasting the candy in brussel sprouts TODAY
transitvans Said,
July 30, 2009 @ 4:11 pm
This is really uplifting stuff, makes me realise that half the negative things we encounter during the day are due to our own mindset