If you’re unhappy at work, I’m sure that the thought “Man, I really should quit!” crosses your mind occasionally.
So why don’t you?
Even if you long desperately to quit, to get away from your horrible workplace, annoying co-workers or abusive managers, you may hesitate to actually do anything about it, because right on the heels of that impulse come a lot of other thoughts that hold you back from quitting.
Each of these excuses may sound to you like the voice of sanity, offering perfectly good reasons why it is in fact better to stay and endure that bad job just a little longer, but look a little closer, and they don’t really hold up. What they do instead is keep you trapped in a job that is slowly but surely wearing you down.
Here are 10 of the most common bad excuses for staying in a bad job.
#1 “Things might get better”
That jerk manager might be promoted out of there. That annoying co-worker could quit.That mound of overwork could suddenly disappear.
On the other hand, things might also get worse. Or they might not change at all. If you’ve already done your best to improve your job situations and nothing’s happened, just waiting around for things to improve by themselves make little sense.
#2 “My boss is such a jerk but if I quit now, he wins.”
Who cares. This is not about winning or losing, this is your life. Move on, already.
#3 “I’m not a quitter.”
Well guess what these somewhat successful people have in common: Larry Page, Sergey Brin, Tiger Woods, Reese Witherspoon, John McEnroe and John Steinbeck?
Yep, they all dropped out of Stanford.
The old saying that “Winners never quit and quitters never win” is just plain wrong and leaving a bad job is just common sense.
#4 “I’ll never get another job”
Well not if you stay in your current job while it slowly grinds you down, you won’t! Move on now while you still have some self-confidence, motivation and energy left.
#5 “If I quit I’ll lose my salary, status, company car, the recognition of my peers, etc.”
Yes, quitting a job carries a price and that makes it scary. We all know this intimately.
But few of us ask this question: What is the price of staying in a job that makes you unhappy?
That price can be very high. It can ruin your work life but also your marriage, your family life, your health, your self-esteem and your sanity. Not all at once, but a little bit every day.
#6 “Everywhere else is just as bad”
That’s just nonsense. There are plenty of great workplaces in every industry.
#7 “I’ve invested so much in this job already”
You may have sacrificed a lot of time, energy and dignity already in attempts to make things better. This will make it more difficult for you to call it quits.
I’m reminded of how Nigerian email scammers sucker in people. At first it’s a small investment, but then the amounts grow and grow. At each step the victim is reluctant to stop because that would mean losing all the money he’s spent so far.
Quit anyway. Staying on is just throwing good time after bad.
#8 “I’ll lose my health insurance.”
I have a lot of sympathy for this argument. Where I live (Denmark), everybody gets free health care regardless of their employment situation so I can’t imagine the leverage this must give employers.
One answer: Start looking for another job with similar health benefits.
Also: Ask yourself what good job related health insurance is if your job is actually making your sick – which bad jobs can absolutely do.
#9 “My job pays very well”
I have zero sympathy for this argument. I don’t care how well your job pays; if it makes you unhappy it’s not worth it.
Quite the contrary, if you make a lot of money now, use that financial security to quit and find a job that’ll make you happy.
#10 “Quitting will look bad on my CV”
Whereas staying for years in a job that grinds you down and goes nowhere will look excellent.
Many of us would be much happier at work if we quit bad jobs sooner. I’ve talked to many people who have finally managed to quit a bad job and only wished they’d done it sooner. I have yet to meet a single person who quit a crappy job only to wish they’d stayed on longer.
You may have perfectly good reasons to stay in your crappy job – all I’m saying is that it pays to examine those reasons very closely to make sure that they hold up.
‘Cause it may just be the fear talking.
What do you think? Have you ever been stuck in a lousy workplace? What kept you from leaving? What finally made you quit? Please write a comment, I’d love to hear your take.
221 thoughts on “Top 10 bad excuses for staying in a bad job”
Entrepreneurialship may be your route to happiness.
After leaving the dreaded job I joined up with several out-of-work military veterans.
After appropriate planning and preparation with traveled to the selected 3rd-world country and commenced a coup.
That country (best to leave it unnamed) is now under our benevolent leadership. The citizenry is happy, peace is upon the land and our group is living a wonderful life of ease.
Being from the USA we know what steps to take to maximize our personal and country’s wealth. We muttered the magic words to America’s elite class and their idiotic lackeys. “We hate terrorists.”
Wham!!!! Just as during the Cold War years when despots, tyrants, war lords, dictators and a very few decent heads-of-state when the magic word was “anti-Communism,” the magic words flooded us with many billions of American dollars forced from the American people by their tyrant-class.
What a deal.
Thank you to all you American sheep who bleat with glee when your masters bother to notice you for the smallest moment and obey so well when your masters instruct you on what to do to remain in your master’s graces. We appreciate your sheepishess.
Best of luck to all of you departing a dreaded job. Just remember that happiness does not always require you to be an obedient sheep under the thumb of an elite class.
The best thing I did was quit and start my own business. 5 years later and I’ve never looked back (except to laugh)!
This is a very comprehensive list. The more power you give to your boss, the less power you have to own your own future. GET OUT OF THAT HORRIBLE JOB!!!
Great article. I agree. Staying in a horrible job will only make your soul wither away. You owe to yourself to pursue your passion – or at least first discover what your passion is :)
So why does anyone ever stay at their job?
Personally I’m in the process of quitting a job. I’d rather like to be out the door right this minute because I have too many other things to do to keep the job. On the other hand, my boss did a great job of working with me, and at the moment he still needs me because he doesn’t have anyone else to fill in. The end of the month I’m done.
I’m ‘in the process’ as Mr Henrickson mentioned of quitting (not because my boss has been great, but because being the person in charge of hiring, I have to find my own replacement oddly enough), and I can’t wait.
I’ve always been an extremely healthy person, but in the past six months I’ve been at this job I have had one illness after another. Being a generally happy person, and also healthy, I’ve never fully appreciated how being under constant stress and pressure by being micromanaged constantly can really affect your health.
I can’t wait to get back to being my happy, healthy self again.
I think I’ve said all those excuses to myself at one time or another. Since I work in America I have to get my insurance through work. I’ve stayed at a job because I was scared to leave. After I made the choice to leave I never regretted it. It felt like a 200 pound monkey was lifted off my back.
We all deserve the right to work happy and if that means taking a risk and quiting then so be it. We can’t work forever so we may as well work happy.
My previous job was really horrible. I thought about quitting every single day. I use to have those bad excuses not to quite. Actually I was just afraid that I couldn
sorry i meant Even finally I choose to quit. :)
Fantastic post !
I cannot agree more with you Alex: quit your job if you feel it’s still bad after having done your best to fix it ! You damage your own life not doing so, as well as your relatives, friends and colleagues. No excuse stands in front of that.
What if the real problem is not the job?
I can think: it’s a personal problem, I can change thousands of jobs and never be satisfied. I have to concentrate on my life, the job is not perfect but neither that bad.
And also, what if you are from a country where is not easy to find a job?
The risk is not to get a lower salary, but to remain unemployed for long time!
My last day at the Toxic Job is Friday. Yes, my resume of late has not looked so great, and I’m fully prepared to take my responsibility in making some not so great choices in an effort to just get a job. But you know, I’d rather work part-time somewhere, keep my head a little clearer, and take the time I need to make the right decision for my long-term career development rather than taking the first thing offered to me just to have health insurance.
Like someone else mentioned, I have been sick more times in the last six months than I can remember for some time. I think a good bit of that was stress-related. When my husband’s insurance kicks in we’ll be okay on that front, but it’s just come to the point of not being worth staying.
I wish I was leaving on better terms. Sadly it’s gotten to the point over the course of only six months that I find myself not caring, simply to get through the day. That was my major red flag. I’m not the kind of person who doesn’t care, so all those other arguments (MANY of the ten things you mentioned) fell by the wayside when I came to that realization.
Fabulous post! Thanks so much for helping me remember I’m making the best decision for me and my family in the long run.
I had a really awful job that I should have quit and I didn’t. It ended up almost completely destroying my self esteem, I was sick all the time, but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to quit. Mostly because I thought I wouldn’t get EI if I quit (I found out I probably could have, as the job was abusive)
I was laid off and suddenly all of my health problems went away. The job I am at currently had a really bad patch and I stuck through it and I’m happy, but I think I am more willing to move on if things don’t work out.
I look back and wonder why I have put up with the crap I’ve put up with. Had your blog been around when I needed it, I probably would have quit :)
I’m in that place right now, stressed out, heinously sick, micro managed, constantly made to feel like I’m not good enough, and it’s only been two months!
However, today things change… just got offered a new job! Things are looking up.
I switched jobs a couple of months ago and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I stayed at my last for years, even though I knew from the beginning that it would eat my soul. I used ever excuse in the list. My boss was terrible, I was plagued with panic attacks and I started to think that maybe I was the problem. It was awful.
I started reading this website a month or so before leaving that job. The site acted as a much needed reminder that work can be a good place to be and I knew it was time to stop being scared and just make something happen. I sent out my resume and got a job offer almost immediately at a great startup. I lost the security of my last job but gained my life, dignity and happiness in return. It was a fair trade. Thanks for the great post!
Alex, this is a spot-on topic as you can tell from the comments.
At the risk of totally hanging my “Boomer-ness” out here, I left my last job in 1977 to follow a dream of doing training and consulting globally. I broke every planning and rational rule in the “business” book. I was simply clear about what I wanted to do and started trying to do it.
Thirty one years later I’ve raised a family, lived or worked on 5 continents, and never did come up with an initial business plan. (Note: Looking back, it might have been a good idea to do so:-) Most importantly, I still have the same energy and enthusiasm for my speaking and consulting practice as I had in the beginning. And the best part is, I get to learn and use the new technologies that add an additional level of excitement to the game.
I’ve thought about what prompted me to go “on my own” to begin with. The real answer is this: After watching how things actually work on the “inside” of organizations, I decided I’d rather take responsibility for my life on the “outside.” It was clear that, if push came to shove, no one else inside of an organization was going to care very much about my future the way that I would.
Make no mistake: sometimes things get tough. But I’d rather be my own decision-maker and make difficult choices on my behalf vs. having a faceless group of people decide that somehow I was the “wrong” size for the “right-sizing,” a euphemism that should be a candidate for linguistic homicide :-)
Tracking this conversation with great interest. . .
Same here, a toxic job brought me down, major depression and all. I left, we moved and I was able to stop taking drugs shortly after. Now I work in a different field, earn a fraction of what I got before, but am happy as one can be. Thanks for the excellent blog.
These excuses are similar to those alibis many are using when asked why they’re not yet leaving their abusive spouses. :-D
I know there are better places, but I keep hoping my current job will become one of those better places. It might become one eventually, but can I wait that long? I’ve already waited five years. I’ve just doubled the dosage of my anti-depressant, and I’m going to start seeing a therapist in my limited free time. I’m sending out my resume. Quitting without a place to go to just isn’t my style, but I admire the courage of people who do it.
Re: #10. OK, I realize that staying in a bad job for years will of course look bad, but what about when you want to go after just 1 month? I got out of a bad job after 2 years (the longest I’ve been anywhere – prior to that was grad school) and I was hopeful my current employer would be better. Instead, I’ve landed myself in a hyper-competitive and political workplace where no one trusts anyone and the whole atmosphere is toxic. Frying pan to fire. Quitting after 1 month, I’m certain, will look bad. I fear I’m stuck for at least 1 year, anyway. Though, if I had somewhere else to go and it wouldn’t make me look disloyal, I’d jump in a second.
My life really opened up after I made a decision to NEVER AGAIN do casual school teaching, in 1998.
It was scary at the time because I needed the income. I’d had no trouble resigning from full-time teaching – because I could always earn money casual teaching, couldn’t I? But then I just couldn’t (getting sick etc etc)
I endured a few months of being at home all the time with no money, but then some new opportunities came along and now I’m self-employed with a good income (I write books and do some other bits and pieces – am just starting the blogging thing.)
I read this with special interest because I am about to have lunch with a colleague who is stuck in a job which she is not enjoying. But she has two reasons which you don’t mention here:
Her job is part-time because she has two small children, and her chances of getting another part-time job using similar skills in this relatively small city are quite remote. UK managers are very resistant to having senior people work part-time.
She loves doing what she was recruited for but is under constant pressure to develop, to focus on improving her weaknesses rather than using her strengths, or to work in areas which dust don’t excite her.
I would be grateful for your thoughts.
Camilla: Please tell your friend from me that I feel for her. Her situation ain’t easy.
I think it comes down to weighing up what quitting will cost her vs. what staying on will cost her. And as I write in my post, few people consider that last question.
It is absolutely possible that staying on in that job is the right decision and is the best thing for her and her children.
It is also possible that this job is slowly grinding her down and that she’d be better off moving on.
I can’t know. But I bet she does – if she thinks about it.
Is that helpful at all?
Great post and really interesting comments Alex. I hear too many stories of people “stuck” in jobs they hate. And I have heard all of the reasons ( excuses) in your list. It’s a tough message but you always, always , always have a choice. A while back I spoke with a single mum whose dream was to leave her job and retrain in something she had always wanted to do but told me that she had “no choice” but to stick with the job she was in as she needed to support her child. When I pointed out that in fact the issue was probably that she did have a choice but that she was not willing to suffer the consequences of that choice she agreed. I met her again some time afterwards she told me that she was more content where she was working and all the while was saving up towards her next career stage.
I recently quit a job. I had my own 300 sq ft office and 65 grand a year. Not much to some, but a dream for me. I tell you it was very hard to do it. Although, when I told him, his response just solidified my decision. The work environment was pleasant, but the owner has no common sense when it comes to people. He was constantly getting involved with my personal affairs and in others as well, belittling our characters for our personal philosophies and choices.. Many have followed in my footsteps since then.. Now I am searching for another job and I am stressed to the max with bills, I still do NOT regret my choice, even though it might be my demise. I am happier now and have my sanity. If you let your life be controlled by money, you will find no happiness.. Since then I have been told he has been reaping all that he sow.. I also have been told it was getting way worse there.. Oh the horror stories… The next time you see a homeless guy on the street smiling, say hi… It might be me…
90% of you will never quit yer jobs ’cause yer from the “wanna learn the piano” school of life…you wanna learn to play the piano everytime you hear someone else play it but never get off yer lazy asses to actually go out the front door and do something…cause yer too comfortable with whatca got.
That explains why 90% of the population work for 10% of the entreprenuers – in ANY culture/country ANYWHERE in this world
I’m currently in a job that I e njoyed for the first two years but have gradually become disillusioned with to the extent that i hate it. I stay because I don’t want to leave without having another job to go to. My last job was one I disliked and I handed my notice in on that one before having a new job to go to. That time I was lucky and found my current job within my notice period. I don’t beleive it could happen again. But maybe I should take that risk again?
What a great post, thanks. I’ve been doing some research recently on whether it’s possible for people to work at what they love AND get paid for it – the majority of responses so far from people have been YES, you can – as long as you don’t get stuck behind many of the excuses that you highlight! Overall, there seems to be something else too about people getting ‘stuck’ in living a certain kind of lifestyle, which they are loathe to let go of and yet they are also fed up working in the job that they say they have to do to maintain it!? The key is something around expectations and choice. And people often have more choices than they might at first think. We can choose to live in a smaller house, go on less expensive holidays, spend less money on eating out etc etc – esp when we start from a standpoint of how many people in the world really DON’T have a choice … just that thought alone can snap us into realising there are things we can change. My research so far also shows me that people who are passionate about what they do are far more likely to live rich lives (not necessarily financially, but in many other ways) than those people who work in jobs that make them unhappy. And they are also more likely to attract happier things and opportunities into their lives.
Hope this also helps people to take a leap of faith and explore doing something they really enjoy.
All the best
the list is good for those who want to quit a job. Gallup survey says, people leave organisations because of the behaviour of their immediate boss. After reading Ira Chaleff’s ‘Courageous follower – Standing upto and for our Leaders’, I have changed my attitude towards bosses, workplace and my attitude towards any job which I am doing. Simply said ‘take ownership; blaming others is a sign of failure’
One has to follow the principles of Ira Chaleff to have peace of mind at workplace to become a productive employee.
I’ve been there.
My previous job was hellish. Basically, I was given no encouragement, nor the tools I need to do my job. I was unhappy for a month and then one day I got up and walked out.
I knew there would be consequences such as explaining why I resigned and dealing with possible bad-mouthing, but I didn’t care. I was out and I was happy.
Your health and happiness always come first.
Good post. I make excuses along the lines of, Yikes, I won’t have health insurance if I quit. But I should stop complaining and LEAVE!!!!!!
I’m in Hell right now trying to leave asap!
My boss is the Devil. I have worked my butt off for my company; I’ve made her lots of money. She calls me names, talks behind my back, lies, cheats. She threatens me and puts me down in meetings. She’s nice to me when HER boss is in town and then goes off on me when he leaves. She treats the guys in my group with respect and treats me opposite.
I have been the number one person in my group for almost a year and she tells me I’m 2nd and not to forget it. When I get deals she say’s that I’m must have been wearing my “Golden Knee Pads”. And so on, and so on. She has taken accounts away from me when I’ve been out ill; others have closed my work and got paid very well for it.
So, I’m looking for a position every minute of my free time. She has smashed my self-esteem, self confidence, self-worth. I have lost sleep like you wouldn’t believe. Now I’m just mad! I’m done feeling sorry for myself and I’m turning my raw anger into action by leaving this hole. She has taken the #1 producer in the company and worn me down.
So to anyone out there who has a “crappy job”, RUN and run fast before you end up like me. It’s wrong, it’s dysfunctional and very harmful to you’re way of life! Don’t think they’re going to change, you’re wasting precious time and energy!
Thanks for this advice. I was so hesitant to quit work but reading this article and seeing all the possible reasons to do so, then I am more convinced than ever. Thank you.
Oh Teresa (june 8 post)! we are living parallel lives. i’ve held on for so long because i too am a top performer and i [sadly] believed “the truth would eventually be known and i would be vindicated.”
I don’t have a family but I can feel you’re stress and understand it.
I recently posted here a couple of months ago; I wrote how unhappy I was. My boss was and still is a horrible person and ruined a great paying job for me (I also very much enjoyed that job). But I had to go or I would have gone down the tubes emotionally, spiritually. I do believe I did have a kind of break down and this prompted me to get online and become hungry for a new life.
My relationship with a close boyfriend ended due to all the stress I had re: job.
I would start to panic on Sundays about the following day and the Hell this woman boss would put me through, and do it with a smile.
Painfully I found through taking inventory of my life that she was a bully, the company let her do this. This company did not deserve a person like me.
So I don
For years I have worked at the hospital where I am employed and have been fairly content. I have taken on a lot of extra responsibility, and I always thought it was apppreciated on some level. But the longer I’ve worked there the more it seems like I was just getting used. I have written technical procedures, gone to out of state training that no one else wanted to go to, and taken on other responsibilities that take up a lot of extra time. I’m not given any extra time to take care of this extra work. The rest of the people in my department come in, do their work and go home. I have to try to “make time” and get ahead so that I can take on the extra responsibility that I have.
Another person in my department occasionally has to do some computer programming work. In that case, it’s “Oh, we have to do so-and-sos work today. He has to go work on computer issues.” The kind of stuff that he does looks like it shouldn’t take more than an hour. In the meantime, they give him his whole 8 hour shift to do it.
I get my but chewed out for the slightest mistake, or for things I wasn’t even responsible for. At the same time, another coworker completely neglected the previous days work, and my boss just talked and laughed about it with her, like an old friend sharing the good old days.
Many days the boss has a cheerful hello for everyone as she walks in, except for me whom she conspicuously ignores. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. I could save my bosses life and that would either get ignored or turned into a negative.
Quitting this job isn’t as easy as it sounds. Seems like I’ve had this kind of trouble with bosses off and on, even though I outproduce most of the others around me. I’m a meek person, so people figure that not only can they use me, they seem to think that it’s perfectly ok to do so. When I complained to my current boss about how I had been treated before, she told me that I had a grudge! She somehow thinks my previous boss is the greatest thing in the world even though I know him to be a selfish scoundrel. But my point is, if I go somewhere else, I don’t have much hope that it will be different. Any new boss will see me as a kind of a meek Mr. nice guy, and then he or she will push extra responsibility on me. Then, if I complain about the unfair treatment, I’ll just get the boss mad at me.
It’s just not that simple as changing and being more assertive, etc. As I said, when I try to do that I just seem to get people upset with me. So if I leave this job and give up all the accrual of vacation, the benefits, etc., I am really afraid that I’ll just wind up in the same kind of situation without as much pay or benefits.
This post is really useful to me. I have read on the internet several post exposing the signs for when to quit and yours is by far the most rational and “motivating” one.
Even though I am not in the US nore Europe (excuse my english), I asked my self the exact same questions and had the same opinions at first, specially the “I’m not a quiter ” one. It conforts me in the decisions I had already taken.
I always say to myself it would be too bad to have spent years at university to finish up wining and complaining about a “killing” job, instead of just taking decisions for myself and assuming them.
I have just spent nearly 4 years in a job that was slowly wearing me down. Before I started I was a very happy person, always good-spirited and enthusiastic; then after being told very often how incompetent I was I truly started to believe it and slowly was stripped of all my self-confidence. Just a few month ago, I was a complete wreck, with absolutely no energy, looking like the shadow of myself. Then I took a sick leave and that really saved my life. At first, I didn’t want to do it, I thought my self-esteem wold run down even lower as I would be off sick but I got really good advice from a psychiatrist who kept me off the medicine (thank god for that) while coaching me on regaining self-esteem. Meanwhile, I started looking around for a new job and I finally ended up landing a top job (honestly, I’ve more than doubled my income!!!)
So I’m glad I got out of my previous job, because staying there with low confidence, it’s very difficult to go to job interviews next and make people feel that you’re great when in fact you have very low energy levels.
When things start to be really bad, best thing is not to think twice and go… Health has no price and we never now what might come next! I’ll never look back, only to know what I really don’t want.
been through almost all 10 excuses above, and then i finally made the jump.
yes, i earn less now, and i m essentially starting all over again, but well, what have i gained? the opportunity to grow as a person and to experience life in all its ups, downs and in betweens. ( i have more free time now!)
i only ask myself – why didn’t i do this earlier? :)
It’s your LIFE. Get out of there if it’s not good for you. I wish I had read this article 5 years ago!
I did enjoy this article but am still scared to quit my job from hell. I am a secretary with Scrooge & Scrooge’s counting house in the City of London. I have very little financial independence (enough dosh to last me nearly a year but considerably less if my sweet elderly cat throws another health wobbly and racks up too many more 3 figure vets bills…).
I don’t care diddly squat about status, a company car or recognition from my peers because I don’t have any of those anyway. As far as this job’s concerned I only care about getting the bills paid every month. But tuther problem is I don’t want to resign because then I wouldn’t qualify for unemployment benefit. I don’t much care about the benefit itself which is pretty meagre but I do care about having a “good” explanation for leaving my job to offer to future employers, and about having the DSS or whatever on my P45 instead of an embarrassing gap since my last employer. There’s not much temp work at the moment.
Flipping blimmin pussies in recruitment don’t seem to accept that you might be perfectly capable and presentable… and yet desperately unhappy in your job… all they want to hear is happy Tellytubby gush about what a cheerful and positive little target busting buzzword beeping proactive bunny you are (I did hear this from the lips of someone in that field. Not expressed in quite those terms but the message was clear). And yet the *rses still have the barefaced cheek to demand that you be an honest soul. I can’t be honest regarding my feelings about my current job without revealing stultifying boredom at best; mental health threating misery at worst. Telling Stepford employee porkies at interview absolutely sucks. I furiously resent the *rses that demand you tell these lies.
Sorry everyone I’ve gone into RANT mode. The other day I woke early feeling angry and sad about work and dreading it….. then I realised it was Saturday morning.
Letilu I liked your post and I’m really glad things worked out for you. I am longing to be made redundant because although my financial situation would be precarious, it would give me a fig leaf to wave at future employers and most importantly it would remove me – respectably – from a toxic environment that grinds me down. I’d feel far better about convincing people I was worth employing if I was away from Scrooge and spending my spare time doing the volunteer work I enjoy at my weekends. I’m going to ask Scrooge if I can go part-time so I can do more of the volunteering which makes me feel happy and useful. If it alerts Scrooge to the fact that I’m seriously under-employed and unhappy maybe he’ll make me redundant. Fingers crossed. And fingers crossed that senior cat stays in good health…..
I’ve had to work 3 bad jobs in a row b/c my college screwed me over by not teaching its curriculum after I went back to school to IMPROVE my situation with a degree. Terrible situation: in each bad job I’ve hated it and could not advance though I worked my ass off because I was playing catch up in my career field. None of these employers paid me appropriate pay–and all of them had lousy work conditions. It’s taken me 5 years to learn on my own, what college should have taught from the beginning. Now, I’m finally trained, going to DITCH the last employer, get a new life as well as career, AND go back and sue the college for millions.
“Whereas staying for years in a job that grinds you down and goes nowhere will look excellent.” – that was so funny, I laughed out loud.
Thanks for making my day.
u’ve given me more than enough excuses to QUIT my current job. totally f**ked up by the annoying co-workers and the shit company…
Hi guys ,
we should change our situation not only complain ,
why not find some ways to deal with the awful things ,
quite just one way to escape we need some clear analysis
and tell ourselves next step what we can do .
Good luck .
Thank you for your insights. I have a great job, great colleges, but my boss is a bully, a con who masters the art of dividing and causing problems and then looking good in front of strangers. He makes the best of his acts in front of the upper management. When you face him, he ducks, pretends and assures he was just faking it, that blah,blah. You even quit and he still says you are missing the point, he really needs you and blah, blah…It a sick relationship and if facing him doesn’t work, maybe just not showing up will do..
I read all the comments and found that I hadn’t been alone in this. I couldn’t quit from the job that made me unhappy because I’m the only earning member of my family. I have 2 kids and my partner’s business closed down.
I had a bad manager who not only lacked professionalism, but was indulged in unethical practices. My ex-mgr was ‘loud’ in many ways. Not only that, I came to know that my ex-mgr had been badmouthing me to the management.
When I heard of an internal vacancy, I spoke to the functional manager about moving me to that team. All was set for my transfer to the new team. But, my ex-mgr even foiled those plans. I was on the verge of quitting. By a sudden turn of events, I was transferred to my current division and am HAPPY here.
thanks for the great advice! I was worried I was alone in feeling this way…but no more. So many of us waste so much time in a bad situation…only to wake up one day and realize that we don’t get a “do-over” – we have one life so act like it and be happy while we are here. awesome post. :)
I just love this piece (and I will share it on my blog)
These are all true statements of how the mind works when stuck at a job.
When I finally quit a bad job, my self esteem was so shot, I messed up more interviews and potential positions than I care to admit. I’ve learned my lesson! If I ever land a position where the boss is two faced, management is incompetent, and co-workers inconsiderate. I’ll move on to the next position.
All nice and happy, but quitting a job in this economy is a joke. You have to wait until you line up other work. Money is too important to quit without thinking of the consequences. i work a job i hate more than any other thing in my life. however, I keep working until I find a job, which where I live, won’t happen. Some people are stuck not because of bad reasons, but because that is the only way they can make money.
I stayed too long at the fair.
I let a couple of sales managers beat me up, for way too long.
Now, my old friends don’t recognise the overly catious attitudes about offending.
One of em said, don’t “worry” about getting fired, start thinking about how you can “get them mad enough” to fire you.
This is a very controversial subject to me! I live in Brazil, working at a job I usualy hate, besides, it supports me and all my family (wife and three grown children). I can’t see how to get out. My wife isn’t employed. I don’t feel confident to do anything without safety. I think that this is an important point to me, safety. Despite suffering day after day, I can’t be irresponsible with my family. I wish I could study a little bit more and daily to get a better job in the future. That’s my only hope!
I think something like that, if its a difficult decision to make, has to come down to instinct really. do whatever feels right.
I WORK IN MIDDLE EAST…ALMOST IN A SITUATION AS MOST OF THE PEOPLE ABOVE…REALLY FED UP WITH MY JOB…THE PROFILE IS DIFFERENT THAN WHAT I HAVE BEEN WORKING….WITH LOT OF STRESS….MANAGEMENT NOT CARING FOR EMPLOYEES….MY PERSONAL LIFE IS ALSO GETTING AFFECTED….ANY ADVICE..I REALLY WANT TO QUIT AND REGAIN MY HAPPINESS IN WORK WHICH I HAVE LOST….
I love my horrible job . .
I hate my job! However, your post just made my morning/day!
I was all geared up to read another paragraph(s) of pain and depression, which in return would have made me angry at my own Hell here at “Dream Killers R Us Corp”..
But I basically spit up my coffee when yours appeared. God love ya Joe.
I live in Colorado where I’m a hard core mtn biker, road biker, and trail runner. All this exercise and good tunes off i-pod is the only reason why I haven’t flown out to corp office to slap boss and get back on plane. I’ve been sexually harrassed for about 6 months, boss drunk dials me at night and weekends.. Has flown out to my state for no reason other than to hit on me. Sends countless letters and notes to my house (I think while he’s been drinking). I left my other crappy job for this one. My salary is 40% higher than old job.
But back on point, thanks for the post. Without knowing why, it made my day.
Perhaps we’re looking at the employment process all wrong. Instead of looking outward for a better job, we should look within, and use the internet to help reflect or reassure who we are. They (employers) need us more than we need them! It’s all perspective! Check out ResumeRace.com. This site promotes people to post their resumes, and people within their field rates them along 30+ questions!
Thanks so much!!! This is exactly what I needed to hear today when I finally decided to quit my really horrible job.
Just left a job with horribly abusive co-workers and a maniacal owner. Went from salaried employee (opted out of over-priced underdisclosed medical benefits) to a 28 year old serving at a fine dining restaurant applying for grad school and feel like an entirely new person. Depression had set in as I’d never has such a problem with any employer or position. Took a step sideways but regardless, taking a step away from that position was the best choice I could have made. Difficult, but once made, an excellent choice!
I just quit my waitressing job, and it feels amazing. I wrote down exactly why I was quitting, and left it for my boss to read. He has anger management problems, and is mean and verbally abusive to workers. I told him that he seemed constantly unsatisfied with my job performance, although i worked hard constantly and did everything that he said, and that I was unsatisfied with HIS performance as a restaurant manager, and so i was quitting. also, i told him it is unethical, and probably illegal, for a restaurant manager to take tips (which he does.) he had ridiculous demands, including that workers be constantly busy, even if it was slow, and we had completed all possible tasks. He also got angry when workers would talk to each other. anyway, i’m going back to school, so screw my boss, and screw 2 weeks notice! let him work in my place, since he takes tips anyway..
OMG. Just loved this post. I am a 47 year old woman, talented, ambitious and quit a very good professional position in the middle of a recession no less, because enough was enough with my old toxic workplace! It’s now 8 months later and although I miss some aspects of of not having a full time job, I have peace of mind, quality time with family, lower blood pressure, my original true friends I had when I started working and new found ambition to try new things. One comment that always stays with me was from a coworker who said to me-what are older women like us going to to do – Well guss what…Just about anything you set your mind to! Great Post! Thanks!
Found this while searching for a resignation letter as I planned on quitting my job today. Wow, I am absolutely convinced that I am making the right decision. Thank you!
I have stayed too long at a nightmare of a job and now feel I have no choice but to quit. If you stay too long, keep in mind that it can very well get to this point. Sometimes you really do need to leave to avoid things getting worse, not only to your health and well-being, but to avoid corrupt management. Because an honest employee can only last so long in such an environment. One day the bell will toll for thee.
My job is a US federal job, by the way. I really did care about doing a good job and serving the public well. Whistle-blower retaliation is real and it doesn’t take long to realize nobody really cares – and the bad guys know it. Your best bet is to get out when you first encounter unethical people. No matter how hard-working you are, how many awards you rack up (why did they give them to me? I now see it as hush money), how much you are loved by the good people.
That’s my lesson – get out at the first sign of trouble, even if it’s your dream job, it’s just not the place for you if bad people are running the show. Don’t hold onto something it seems you can’t give up, only to find out that by doing so, you gave up your life (or close to it).
i wanted to quit my job, so i was surfing for the net of reasons why people quit their jobs…then i saw this.
Im a professor (and have a permanent status), but here in the country, it doesn’t matter. The pay is low. no training. name it, we don’t have it. the other professors hated me like i’m a cockcroach needed to be killed at once. however, the next school year they are gonna send me to study to the city, in return, i need to stay like 10 years in the university…I have been planning to quit my job, two years ago…i hate to commute for 15 miles…i no longer eat just to pay for the fare. Well, it is not the real reason to start with… I just think that i can look for a teaching job in the city, while i’m with my family rather than stay here and rot….My mom is the only one working and i can’t give any support coz i need to support myself. I am unhappy now. very very miserable.
i just hope that i am making the right decision.
I’m so happy I happened to find this post. I, too, detest my job, and am just about ready to walk out. The only reason I don’t is that I recently depleted my savings account and ran up some bills I need to pay off. My job SUCKS and I’ve hated it pretty much since the day I took it. I moved to a new state to take the job. I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who’s lost a relationship because of the crappy job. I’m 47 years old, work 50+ hours a week and am considered a top performer. Yet all I think about when I drive up to the building every morning is how much I want OUT.
The funny thing is, when I listed to our Human Resources department, I think, “Man, this company is great!” And we are in a lot of ways–great benefits, more vacation time that most people get, generous sick time…. Yet I’m miserable… and I’m not the only one.
My last day is today and in 3 1/2 hours I will never have to walk back into this toxic environment again! When I sent my resignation letter it felt like I had been freed from a prison. I realized quickly that I had put myself there. And yes! even though I still have 3 1/2 hours left in my last day of work, I feel like I should have done this sooner. Sometimes it is best to save yourself and break the rules. And don’t let the recession scare you into suffering. It isn’t worth it. Make a plan and save your soul!
What if you have been called up for a job in a far off country with a lot of promise and when you find that you can’t leave the job at all because unless you complete your probation you have to stay on the job or else pay visa processing charges. Literally trapped….
Cant be that much money for visa processing?
Believe me, being trapped in a bad job in a foreign country is soo much worse get out while you can!
My job has been literally killing my soul for the past 3 years. I help the poor and criminals for a living, listening to their horrendous stories all day long -horrible, mind-bending, psyche-melting histories- and have known this entire time I needed to leave. But I didn’t realize how seriously I was burning out, and now I feel like I am being pushed over the edge. I have drank every night for the past three months. I am acerbic, aggressive and emotionally closed off. I hate the people I serve so much I cuss and spit when I have to see them. I have secondary trauma and can no longer sleep without medication. It is not possible to hate your job more than I do.
I have applied to seemingly countless jobs, but as I want nothing to do with this career field any longer it has been impossible to actually land anything in this economy. I have begged for other work at the company, but there is none. Most places are laying off. I am lucky to have a job. But am really not, because it is poisoning me. It is nice and pat to say “Hey, it’s your life, just quit!”, but the problem is that I make an utter pittance, have essentially no savings (not very possible on my salary), and have thousands of dollars in credit card debt due to a combination of bad choices when young and bad luck/unexpected crisis expenses. Life has been tearing me down and I have not gotten a break. I cannot afford to leave. I have no money to do so. I will go broke. I will lose everything. I have school loans and a car loan in addition to my aforementioned expenses. I have applied for so many jobs I no longer really believe in some level that I *can* get another job, despite being very highly educated. I can’t afford to work part time. If Ii don’t work for a day I will go under. I have less and less energy every night to look for other work. And every day, all day I get to hear exactly *why* there might not be hope, from all the psycho, miserable, traumatized people I see. It’s quicksand and I am not getting a break to get out. I feel completely trapped, despite knowing I have a choice… though the alternative is to lose everything. I never thought I would be this guy. Does anyone have any suggestions? I really need them. Thanks.
I’ve been working a great-on-paper job for the past two months, trying my best to be content in the fact I hated it (if that makes any sense). I left the job I worked before, that I really did like a lot, because this new job had better benefits and great health insurance. The pay is a little better too, but not by much (a couple thousand a year). My dilemma came when I decided that this new job is making me absolutely crazy– like some of you on here, I’ve been drinking A LOT more, I fill my weekends with dread because I know that I have to go back to it, and find myself trying hard but getting nothing but insulting comments and slurs in return.
Something I didn’t notice on here is whether or not anyone filed complaints about their employers. I work for a small city government and filing a complaint won’t do much except get my current co-workers (most of them very nice folks) in a shit ton of trouble. So rather than doing that, I’m looking to perhaps talk to someone on the State level (reminder: I work for the government, this may not be a good way for you to go) and filing a complaint that way. I have the rest of my professional career to look forward to, and this job I’ve had for such a short period of time has almost burnt me out on it.
On an even better note, I called my old employer today and they want me back starting immediately. They told me how much they’ve missed me and though I cannot get a raise in benefits or anything, I’ll be getting my sanity back… and that’s the most important thing.
I am a student extremely unhappy at my part-time job. i have absolutely no additional time to find another job, and I always tell myself that it is much more work to find another job than to stay at this one, which wouldn’t be a problem if i had any extra time. The most terrible part is that after working this job 8 months I still only get paid minimum wage, and I have to put up with too much for such a low pay. Every time I am at work I have to hold back tears because I too often think how I am wasting precious time that could be used applying for grants or finding better opportunities. It is beginning to affect my happiness, and I feel I am too young to lose hope. I know I can do better-I just don’t have the time or money to try. But reading your advice and the reader comments makes think that maybe I should take the risk of quitting even if it means living as an unemployed, poor student for awhile. Good luck to all the rest of you as well.
I went back to college at 56 for 2 years, ended up in the worst job I could imagine. Micromanaged to death and rule by fear is how management works. I have used a couple to techniques to survive this last 2 years, especially after a terrible year end review, namely two styles of meditation, mindfullness and metta. They sort of help most of the time.. Anyway, I am looking at other opportunities and one thing I have noticed that it seems that most of us do not check out what a firm is like before we go for the interview. I have realized myself that if I did this I would not end up in bad situations that just do not fit me as a person. Thanks Alex for being on the web, just what I needed…
Thanks Alex for posting this! If only I have read this sooner ;p
Anyway, I’ve finally quit my job (after attempting twice!) and having mixed confused feelings abt my decision until I read your article. I’ve been working with my current company for the last 4 years and have never been happy or felt tht I fit in. But I’ve put in so much efforts in the company esp in tge last 3 years wheb we are having financial difficulties with salaries being delayed etc
However what dissapoints me most was the fact that my boss does not seem to appreciate the efforts that I have put in and at most time even credited another colleague for the works tht I hve worked so hard on. I was also being paid lower than another officemate while being given more responsibilities to work on. I am frustrated with the way I have been treated but everytime I tried to quit I kept on thinking abt the time and effort I have put in and would not be able to reap thr reward if I were to leave (if I an ever goin to get any, anyway)
My boss actually bought another colleague of mine 2 new computers for the office and her home so she can work faster in the office and does not have to stay back or come over the weekends to the office. While for the rest of us we have to work on slow old pcs, come back on weekends and stay back late in the office till just in time to catch the last train home. That is surely very unfair.
So in February this year I came to my boiling point and resign without having any job lined up. I am lucky however to be in a professional field thus the demand is quite high- still it took me abt 2 months to get the job which I think will be good for me and I will be starting this May ;p
What I regret most is tht I shld have done this 4 years ago! But I am thinking positve thus looking forward to a new working environment ahead!
i have been in my current job 10 years and am about to resign, i have watch and helped this company grow and now i am having a
hard time with my health i am being treated badly and given no support. I have been lucky in that i have a job offer from another company but its for lower pay and a drop in rank. after reading this site i am now convinced that i should take the leap. I feel the higher the pay the bigger the price you pay in family, health and happiness. I want to live my life not work my self in to an early grave…..we work to live not live to work ………the best things in life are free……your happiness
this site is an inspiration thanks everyone
I have graduated from university two years ago and since the. Have been stuck in go nowhere jobs and a miserable relationship. I have no drive to find out my passion in life because right now I hate both my job and my home life. Recently I finally broke things off with my gf and am very close to quitting my current job to finally think about myself and find out what I want to do. I have to thank you for this outlet because it really helped solidify that I am doing the right thing and things will get better!
This article has given me the courage and know that my decision to quit the job is a right one. And most important of all, I know that I’m not alone. A lot of uncertainties ahead but I strongly believe that this decision to quit is for my own good.
Quit the best paying job I’ve ever had in my life earlier this month. Money doesn’t mean anything when you can’t stand being there, hate going there, information you’re given to work with is so screwed up beyond belief that the job simply can’t be done anymore. On top of that, being treated badly for “not working fast enough”. The lady in the nexg cubicle had been crying at her desk from stress lately. Worse case scenario, I’ll have to move in with my Mom if/when my $ runs out or I can’t get another job soon enough (trying for unemployment, but doubtful since I don’t have a video of Management breaking my arm). Oh, well. What can no longer be done simply can no longer be done. That’s OK, what goes around comes around. And it won’t be long for those folks.
I relate most with Mark.As much as i want to leave my horrible job,i have bills to pay.Where will i live if i cant pay rent ? How will i eat ? I am apparently stuck and i must face this as reality.I am still going to keep trying and trying to get something better but realistically,i dont really expect to get anything else or land a better job than what i have right now.If i were to get another job,with my luck,it would be something just as bad.Life is very hard and i must toughen myself up.Toughen up my body,mind and spirit.I’ve been riding my bike more lately and i plan to join the gym very soon once my shoulder is just a little more healed.It was injured from,none other than my rough tough miserable job.
I left a federal govt. job last year after 19 years of employment. I went to work right out of high school and it was by no means my dream job. I was miserable for most of my time there, especially after getting consistently passed over for promotions that I was more than qualified for. I would get numerous awards for my exceptional work, but I knew something was really off. I agree with the previous poster, Agnus, if you work for a corrupt organization and are an honest employee, don’t expect ANYONE to support you. After suffering a tremendous amount of harassment by a bullying supervisor, I recently lost my EEOC case against my former employer and I’m still upset that it seems that evil has prevailed over good. I stayed because I was told early on by family, friends and co-workers that because I have a “good, government job and so many years in.” that I would be a fool to leave. Its almost like a cult, you are actually brainwashed into thinking that you can’t possibly do anything or go anywhere else. I made the mistake of accusing them of mismanagement and, yes, whistleblower retaliation is a nightmare. Once you become a target, they discredit you, claim that you can’t do your job and isolate you. If you think you have friends, think again, they will treat you like you have an incurable disease. So, after losing my confidence, my hair, relationships, money and a place to live, people ask me why did I leave? Are you serious? I have recently found a new job, I am in transition and will finally start my own business, something that I’ve wanted to do for a while. My advice to those who are in a similar situation, get out as soon as you can. It will NOT get any better. I tried so hard to get another job before I left, but it never materialized and I was quickly deteriorating. Don’t end up like me.
I really want to quit my current job because I really hate it. No room for growth, bad relationship with dumb managers, hate management bunch of morons. I’m scared of leaving because of the chunk change I’ve been getting for the past 3 years. People don’t quit until you find another job and that is not going to happen anytime soon =(. I literally have to drag myself into work. I am depressed and totally stressed out and all for some chunk change. What to do.
I am working for a company that I have been with for 4 years. I have been placed in the job from hell, and I want to quit but it is just me. I would have no where to go and I am 63 I would lose my apartment and not have a place to live, I live in Michigan, its like I dont have family
This is a tough one. I had to quit my job because my boss was a jerk, my co-workers didn’t help me out but put all the burden on me, etc…
yet I loved the place. It was close to home. I loved the people beyond my immediate co-workers, etc! I had a life when I was there.
I regret quitting and not fighting hard enough against those monsters, I would still be there and happy. I wasn’t unhappy, I was just runned down. I wish I had fought better for what I really wanted and not give in to the bad boss, irresponsible coworkers.
I will regret it all my life.
I unfortunately don’t have time to read all of the comments above but I’m hoping someone can offer some insight. I had a job I loved for 3 1/2 years and was eventually laid off with the rest of my department when it was dissolved. I was unemployed (though I worked 3 little jobs) for 5 months and took the first job that came along, even though I was told by the interviewers that it was boring (and yes, one of the main reasons I took it was for health insurance). Anyway, not only is this job so boring, there are unfriendly employees, boss is beyond description (bad, not good), and I dread coming in so much that I am unpleasant to family members and start feeling crappy Sunday night. I also get paid very poorly and get close to no vacation time. I can no longer stand sitting in front of a computer for 9-hours a day doing nothing. Ideally, I would be happy never seeing a cubicle again in my life. I want variety in my day…and basically just want to be happy. Any advice is much appreciated.
My last post was on 8/6/10.I am still with the same job that i started in november of 2009.I am still very unhappy.It is abusive and i’m really looked down upon by other co-workers.I dont get to take a break until 9pm,and i start my shift at 4pm.I’ve been feeling under the weather for the last week(feeling physically sick and run-down).
It is just a horrible situation.I make under 8 per hour and i pay 550 per month.Yeah,i get $200 worth of food stamps per month,which is absolutely mandatory because i’d have to resort to eating rats and bugs if i didnt get any public assistance.
The thing is,I’ve worked with this company franchise before(Supermarket).Back in december of 86 till november of 88,and then again from october of 1990 till september of 1993,and then again from october of 1998 till december of 1999.
It is horribly unfair that i’m actually making less now than i did in september of 1993.I left in september of 1993 because i absolutely had to at the time.The reason ? The store closed and they transferred us to different stores and i was only given an 8 hour work week.Two 4 hour shifts per week on random days.This was a horribly raw deal that i was given so i’m not to blame and i’m not at fault. They Are !
I am used and abused,mistreated,and miserable and certain employees get to hog the payroll.They make 20 plus per hour plus they get plenty of hours.This is totally wrong.A supermarket isnt a job to make good money at and they need to be ALOT more balanced with the whole payroll scenario. I feel highly disgusted and disgruntled and when i can to vent,i write logs of what i go through and what the misjustices entail(The details and such).I keep notes and tabs when i can.This i do during downtime periods.Other spoiled brat kiddos at my job text away and surf away on they’re blackberry phones while i have a very very basic rock bottom phone.They get to save all they’re money because they still live with they’re mom and dad while i barely scrape by and am stuck with the hardest most miserable job.A job that is very isolated from having the capacity of having fellowship with fellow co-worker/employees of the company.
I am still looking and looking for another job and i just had an interview but they have to interview many others gunning for the same job. This is such a miserable rut.My life has degressed so horribly.I’ve been coming home at night from work feeling sick and i need to drink some brandy to settle into falling asleep.I dont even feel like working out anymore.I have no reserve energy and this itself is highly depressing.I used to be so full of life and full of strength energy and vitality and now i’m just totally becomming a grumpy old man withering away inside and out.
I just turned 40 in may but i feel alot older in terms of inner vitality and mental well being. This job has transferred me from a 39 year old with great vibrance,vitality,energy,and strength,to a 40 year old who is feeling a much lesser version of the 39 year old version of himself,along with other additional details such as helpless,horribly depressed,distressed,disgusted,disgruntled,and utterly bitter to the bone. If they were at least so much as to update and upgrade the store music soundtrack for the better,i would likely feel substaintially better to some degree but NO ! They want to keep plenty of us there very VERY Miserable because that adds to they’re upper manegerial and corporate czarship based powertrips.
I have to correct myself very quickly.After reading what i had just posted,i noticed that i didnt clarify at the beginning of my post that i Pay 550 per month IN RENT,while only making a less than 8 per hour wage at my job.Not to mention,i only get 24-30 hour work weeks.I drive 10 miles to work and this doesnt sound like much but it adds up as far as the cost of regularly having to fuel up my car,plus my car insurance,and also,i still have to pay for things such as toilet paper,paper towells,toothpaste,shampoo,and soap. Plus,my foodstamps run out when i still have a week before the ebt card re-tops itself so that means i have to pay for my food for a week and i barely have any extra money to spend. So i wind up rationing my food intake and going around like a starved zombie for a week during every last 7 days of each month. Life Really Stinks During these regular time periods !
Today i have decided to get a job with another company. luckily I had been thinking about this for a few weeks and someone to contact. Will find out Monday when i start. Actually did this in my lunch break today after the following meeting I had.
I have only been there for 3 months but it feels like a year. The company can’t keep staff and is unable to correct it’s over-promising, compliance nazi micromanagement that is forcing staff to leave.
Before i started with that company i was doing outdoor fitness training three times a week and cycling 30km’s every other day, but within the first 3 weeks i had caught a head cold which progressed into a sinus infection then bronchitis and then caused me to have a massive asthma attack. Which you would understand has a major impact on your ability to function. I only took two days off within this whole time, for something that nearly put me into the emergency unit.
I can almost pin-point what it was that caused that sort of reaction, it was the continuous threats of being “breached” if you got something wrong. The job is completely inflexible and uses the customer service staff to shield the management from their responsibility to the clients.
The last straw for me came today when i was called into a meeting with my team Leader and told off because i had told an abusive customer that i would not help her if she didn’t stop abusing me. I was told by this manager that i was the worst customer service person that she had ever heard, which of course is an exaggeration to make me feel bad and she also added that i didn’t know what customers service was even though i has 15 years experience in all facets of dealing with customers. I had done nothing wrong except be assertive.
The Team leaders attitude was one of hostility and she expected me to accept it. Well she was wrong i told her that i was sick of explaining this companies lies to customers about long queue times and that the lack of integrity within the company was not only apparent to me but also the customers. For example what sort of company increases it’s premiums by 30% then tells the customers to love-it or leave-it? One headed for a crash is what sort.
The company is suffering from a personality complex, it thinks its a Gold Nugget when in actual fact its a Dog Turd rolled in Glitter.
What makes me laugh is that they will never fix the staffing issues within that company due to their lack of introspection, integrity and most importantly respect for their staff. Sure they can hire people to replace anyone but that is the only option they have cause they cant keep anyone. It’s so funny too because it takes almost two months to train us in all the systems and product knowledge.
I’m just angry now that i allowed myself to be beaten down to the point of getting sick. I used many of those excuses mentioned in your list to keep going when i was deathly ill and angry.
The futility of waiting for improvements from a bad job is the reason their are so many bad jobs.
I can’t get away from this job quick enough for it’s clear there are problems that will never be solved.
A few years back I had a pretty good job as a medical instructor. At the start the job was under contract and I absolutely loved it. I liked my co-workers and work was fun. Our supervisor was the best. She always looked out for us. Of course all good things come to an end though. The company lost the contract and the positions were converted to civil service. There was about a 9 month break before I got hired on as civil service.
When I returned I was assigned to a different section with different co-workers and a different supervisor. On top of that there were new rules and requirements under civil service. It felt so diffferent. I missed my working alongside my old co-workers.
My new co-workers totally didn’t fit my personality type. With the new requirements that we had to attend a paramedic course it became a pretty heavy workload. The new supervisor was quite different and a bit more strict. I mean he was a good guy but just not what I was used to. I questioned if it was worth it all. Eventually I resigned.
From there I changed career fields totally. I began to work on a career in criminal justice/law enforcement. I have been in 3 seperates jobs involving security/lawenforcement/criminal justiceover the last 2 and a half years. I can safely say that they all three sucked way worse than my job as an instructor. They were all bottom feeder jobs that made you feel like just another body to feel the position.
Even worse I used a lot of my GI bill benefits( almost $20,000) on working towards a criminal justice degree. I applied for at least 130 to 150 jobs that I felt would be better. I got shutdown for all of them. It appeared I wasn’t going to be able to land a higher level job in this field.
I found myself not only stuck in a job I didn’t like anymore, but in career field that I didn’t like anymore. I became very depressed and lost a lot of self confidence. It seemed that each job started out okay and then slowly went downhill.
This last one was the worst. I dreaded going to work each morning. I had to talk myself into getting out of bed to go in. Work was boring and repetitive. We were always micromanaged and talked to in a condescending manner. The manangment seemed to always take the customers side and hardly ever if at all asked our side of the story. Promises were made that would not be kept. And worst of all the supervisors had this s**t eating attitude as if they were way better than their subordinates.
They treated us like we were dumb little kids or as if we were all morons. We got very little if any recognition for anything we did, not that there was much to do since the job was so repetitive. So when i did accomplish something I felt i should be recognized for it. It seemed that it would never matter. I realized that time was passing me by and my life was sitting still. All in the mean time this job was eating away at my self confidence, ruining my personal and family life, making me be sick a lot more often, and wasting away my youth.
I always found a reason to talk myself out of leaving though. It was either I needed the money, I had invested so much into this career path already, I need the health insurance,or maybe I’ll get a better job eventually.
Well finally I had about 3 or so bad run-ins with management all pretty close together. I guess the last incident was the straw that broke the camels back. I had ,in the previous 2 months, been looking into schools to attend. I had even started the admissions process at one school that I had researched and it really got my attention. So as soon as I got home that day I typed up a letter of resignation. I decided I didn’t care what the consequences were I would not allow this job to take any more time from me.
So now I am on the way out of not only this crappy job, but out the career field as a whole. I got accepted into a nursing school and I am so excited and anxious to begin. And the best part of it all is that not only will my GI Bill benefits pay for the course but I will get a monthly living allowance that in addition to my disability compensation will support me and my family while I am in school.
I just wish I had got the guts to do this a lot sooner.
My opinion is that if you dread going to work each day and then once you get there you are miserable and just watching the clock for the day to end it is time to leave. Never let a job interfer with your self confidence and family life.
I really don’t know what to say. I mean it sounds like you really don’t like being there. It sounds similar to the situation I was in. I kept getting tireder and tireder each evening. There were less and less jobs to apply for and each day seemed to get worse.
You just have to find your quitting point. I understand that money is playing a huge role in why you are staying. At some point you have to say how much does this really matter?
Do you have family who can help you out and who you can fall back on? If so try to use that and any resources you can to buy you some time after you quit. Once you quit it will give you a lot more time to look for better jobs.
How awesome that this thread exists – I of course find myself here with anxiety attacks, sleepless nights and a suffering personal life due to the toxicity in my workplace. It really has helped to read everyones experiences and I thought it would only be fitting that I add my own.
As of this past weekend I finally feel resolved to get out of my current place of employment, which is absolutely insane! Not only do they have all of the classic elements of a psycho/toxic workplace but it has genuinely harmed my health with the stress it has caused and keep in mind I’m in my late 20’s!
If you would like to witness some of the worst management decisions and thought process’s of your life then this workplace would be the ideal specimen. We’re talking dysfunctional, innapropriate and crazy decision making or lack of decision making abilities. My department manager is a few years older then me and is quite possibly bi-polar or has some other type of mood disorder making it near impossible to have an effective working relationship with her as she makes it ALL personal.
She is catty, speaking about other employees in a negative tone at one moment and then COMPLETELY switching her tone to siding with that same employee in the next moment. She makes a point of going out of her way to be cold and at times patronizing to me while she laughs and jokes with other co-workers in my immediate office area. She makes unreasonable, unorganized and uneducated business decisions that show her inexperience and ignorance to the job that I am responsible for and her knowledge of it.
At times she’ll bark back something rude and dismissive when ask her a question and other times she’ll walk up with a high-school like mind frame talking about how the outfit she’s wearing got her ‘laid’ in the past – trashy, unprofessional and dysfunctional would encompass an accurate description of this woman.
I’ve had to deal with 2 inappropriate co-workers who have absolutely NO interpersonal skills and have received no support from my so called manager in either instance. In fact when I complained to her about how inappropriately I was being treated by the one co-worker, my manager actually told me that I should start saying ‘hi’ to her more?!?!? What kind of advice is that?? That is incredibly demeaning that my managers solution to an important issue was that I should kiss her a*^? And it’s strictly because the co-worker I have issues with is twice my AND my managers age and she has no confidence or skill-set to deal with her.
Our office area has been outright told that we’re being watched and I have personally been told that my reputation hasn’t been harmed ‘yet’ but that I need to be careful. Everyone is in such a state of fear of getting in trouble or being ‘watched’ that noone is speaking to eachother anymore, which is just the way this dictatorship likes it!
On that note the job I am responsible for is nowhere near the original job description that originally lured me into the role. I am sorely under-utilized, every positive change that I would like to instill into this damaged vessel of an organization is met with hostility and offence…because to succeed in that hell-hole you need to be 100% submissive to the insanity! So essentially I’m a glorified band-aid that is supposed to gloss over the severe infection that is the organization, and thus like everyone else, keep scrambling to fix the same problems over and over and over….life’s too short and my skills are too valuable to waste on such nonsense.
I could go on and on about the rest of the management teams lack of experience, knowledge and professionalism but I’ll save you the time and say that after only 7 months of being in this environment I have come full circle into the realisation that this job is effecting my health and my general well-being. I am a strong, confident person who has experienced rather sever panic attacks in the last 3 months due to work, I have become depressed and I am not able to recognize myself anymore. My personal life has suffered and cetainly my self-esteem due to this craziness, not worth it, no pay chq in the world is worth that!
Anyways, I am looking for a new job now and I feel resolved and confident in the decision to get out. I hope that someone out there reads my story and feels inspired to get out of their toxic work situation as I have been inspired by the other stories on here.
I have quit my job. Do not have another job. Your comment has given me confidence that I will get another job very soon.
This man! Point #7… I would like to ask, why did you have to mention Nigeria in your article!
You sound to me like have been a victim of scammers! Or probably you are close to someone who once fell victim!
While I realise scamming is not right and that its an offence, and also which I am not in support of, I would say I wouldn’t let you defame Nigeria on the web.
Most of the time, if you aint a greedy person, you wouldn’t fall a victim of scammers!
I demand an apology to all Nigerians, because scamming is NOT a vice peculiar to only Nigerians!
Hey! So glad i found this site, i was actually starting to beleive that i have serious issues or something.
I’ve been in my new job for 10 weeks now, and i regret starting it completely. So much workplace politics, such a miserable workforce, gossip and backbiting at levels WAAAAAAAY above what i would consider to be ‘normal’ (and i’ve had a LOT of jobs before now).
Its destroying me mentally and physically, and literally ALL i do in my free time is worry about going back in.
I was made redundant a couple of years back, and finding jobs has been tougher than i’ve ever known it to be. So in the last 12 months i’ve taken on a couple of crap jobs (cleaning, dishwashing etc) just so i can treat my kids and pay my way, but i’ve bailed out as soon as i’ve had enough of them. This has caused problems at home with the mrs( who incedentally dosent and hasnt worked in years). When i got this job, i was elated that i was back doing a ‘mans’ job again (lol!), but within one week, i knew it wasnt going to work out, that i didnt fit in etc.
So, i’ve now got xmas out the way with (kids presents, bills etc), i just dont have anymore bulls**t reasons to stay there now, except the fact that i’ll probably lose my relationship if i do leave it. HEEELLLLLLLP!!!
I feel like i’m trapped in a shoebox that is getting smaller by the day.
Thanks alex for giving me the platform to get this off my chest, this place is invaluable.
In the beginning of the year 2011, I resigned from my job. I worked at the company for 10 years. As I sit here after a month transition, I should have left a long time ago.
As I surf the net for information to make sense of this ordeal, I enjoyed reading your article and it gave me a lot of inspiration and made sense. The article really was encouraging to me.
It is scary when you resign but you have to trust your instinct and just go with it. When you do this you can feel very alone. I saw a quote a while back by someone that I respect and keep it in my journal. The quote reads, “My parents raised me to stand up for myself. If there was something I believed in, I had to fight for it. As a pioneer, sometimes I had to stand alone. You just have to believe in your own ideas.”
With the transition you go thru from any change in life it can be unpleasant but as time goes by you start to understand strength from within and you see things that come into your life to help with the change. It can be a bumpy road getting to it.
I’m still in transition as it’s been 1 month since leaving my job and I’m optimistic that things will turn in the right direction. I found that I’ve been hanging on and need to let go to move forward.
I’m a ski instructor right now and no longer in corporate america. It feels good!
I just did the same, I quite my job on Feb 17. It was a very hard thing to do.
I will be starting new job tommorrow. I would rather be scared than miserable. I was miserable and unmotivated every day. Really hard to go to work everyday.
Glad to know their are other people out there that stepped out in the “unknown”. It takes courage to do so
I am in a toxic job, in a very toxic team within a company that does not offer any positive growth. I want out SO BAD! I am so torn inside for most days and use all my energy to psych myself up to face the day. I have had so many lousy managers in the time I’ve been with the company. They excel at beating down the team as opposed to lifting people up.
I am looking hard for a job so that I can leave this dreadful company and team. I pray that the Universe will send something my way soon.
Please never stay on at a toxic job. It eats away at your soul and kills your self-esteem. I have to keep telling myself that I am worthy and that something will come my way soon. I did not use to feel this way before I joined this company. I’ve fought so hard so that these toxic people do not get any more of my soul and spirit than they have already tried to do.
first, let me tell you guys that this post is extremely useful…
i have been and still struggling in my current job which deals with IT and Telecoms Industry.
The technical work in itself is really challenging and pleasant. i like it personally. I visited many countries (poor, rich) around the world with this job, and learned from many people.
but the management tends to ruin it each and everyday. some ppl who are not even in this field just come up and start to command each of the team members, without even taking into consideration what the staffs think about it. As rightly said by someone, Lack Of Knowledge is Dangerous!!!!
The company is really big with many internal depts. locally and internationally, and this is the main reason which stopped me from taking this decision.
After reading the feelings of everyone in here, which i respect deeply, i have now been able to make THE decision – which is to quit and pursue my dreams.
I have balanced both sides:
(1) the technical work, which is pleasant and i like to do it
(2) the management which is unpleasant and i don’t like it (without mentioning the numerous ways where attempts to level-down my work results were made by ‘colleagues’ and ‘supervisors’. The weight is much heavier here than option (1)
Many times in life, you will find that you’re doing something which is not bad and it is OK for you – you can live with that. But what many people don’t think is that IS THIS REALLY MY DREAM?
Making money mechanism has many ways.
I can guarantee you that paving the way to your dream will lead you to success. I will not hide it by saying it is easy and quick. You will overcome all these obstacles if you do it with your heart, and feel happy doing it all the WAYYYYYY ;)))
I will come again with my future plans. Let me deal and close this issue with my current company first ;).
BTW: i am not in America or in any country, where there is no more than 1.5 million population.
So I am finally getting ready to leave this job. Thank God!
so I am finally ready to leave. I realized the unhappiness and soul destroying result is not worth it. Of course you do not realize it while your soul and spirit are being destroyed. Many jobs are toxic, not necessarily because of the nature of the work but because of the insecurity, meanness, incompetence and power hunger of many middle and upper level managers and employees are either selected to “join” the team or are shut out. True, bosses receive pressure from above, but a good boss recognizes the value of the staff and that this really does help to strengthen the boss’ position. Currently we are short staffed – and they are “looking”; in the meantime I stretch out & have done so for a while – but my boss is the equivalent of some of the worse mentioned here. I was working hard, doing everything my boss asked and feeling like crap whenever I talked with my boss; I also realized my boss got a sadistic pleasure from it. The more boss & manager abused me, the more I felt I had to do. I rollercoasted between incredible depression & anxiety, anger, confusion and feelings of incompetence. The worse the boss’ personal & work situation & pressure, the worse for me and other selected members of the “team”. Except that some of the “team” came from my boss’ old job and could do no wrong – it was blatant. I worried & like others here, examined, criticized & blamed myself – all the while, doing a grand job of destroying my self esteem. I prayed a lot and then prayed some more. I looked around & realized that I was not the only one going through this. I started to understand that while I was not perfect, I had worked hard, was a contributor and served the company well.
Then I came across a website called BULLYING IN THE WORKPLACE. Look at it and recognize your boss, yourself, your co-workers & your job situation.
It was a shortstep to the decision to leave, particularly when I realized things would never change. I decided that if I was no use to my boss, I would offer my service to someone else. I was nervous about interviewing at first but I got a job quickly. I did learn a lot about myself and about dealing with others; but I am now psychologically prepared to move onward. I KNOW that despite all my boss has done, there is MAJOR unhappiness there. I hope it will be worth it for my boss.
Just one final note – I did not go to them, but in reading & researching, I clearly understood that HR is NOT on the side of the employee. Their job is to protect the company/ bosses AT ALL COSTS. Instead, find a good friend that you trust to tell you the truth. Run it by them, step back, honestly examine what you do and how your boss values it. If you do not value yourself, do not be too upset when your boss does not. Pray a lot before, during & after you make your move.
I’ve had several bad jobs. I used one of the above reasons to stick until i got sick, depressed and had to leave.
So now on I have decided to live simple, spend less, save more and have enough to fall back on when I want to walk out of a job.
I realized I cannot work with mean and morbidly competitive people, but these don’t come stamped on their heads with red ink….so sometimes i just landed up with such people but due to my habit of saving a huge chunk of my income I didn’t think too much leaving. That way i also left on good terms and generally at a time when they needed me the most…suck it up f******! My last job was one of the worst. The boss the owner of this small org was a complete a-hole. I tolerated him for over 6 months and my parents did not want me to quit the job. They have never done a job in their life so they are clueless what it is like to be in a bad job. And they insisted that I stick around as long as he wanted me. Wow! what a thing to teach your kid! “Let anyone screw you honey!!! as long as they pay you” when i think of it i even hate them as much.
So i finally quit, i do not yet have another job, but am looking for one with nice people at an agreeable pay. I also do freelance, but I make sure I save a lot. It may not be the best way to become a millionaire, but it will save you a lot of mental agony about finances.
For those who do not know how to save – here is a little trick. if i can live without it…i dont want to pay for it! – If feels frustrating initially, but once you get into a habit its actually empowering that you do not succumb into buying products from already rich companies and manufacturers. Don’t give your authority away as long as you can hold on to it.
Goodluck to all those looking for better jobs, may God Bless You and all the good employers!
So grateful i’m not alone…. i’m miserable at my job which is twisted because I love the job itself, just not the horrid way we employees are treated. & I cnat just transfer to another co that does the same thin as they made us sig a contract that we wouldn’t for at least a year after leaving. I need something that’s closer to home, pays better, & treats employees with the resect we deserve
I quit a job of 10 years and it was the best thing I ever did. I quit during my 2nd mental health leave. I had been labeled, laughed at and talked about – I could not go back. I decided that there was nothing I could do to resolve the situation, nor was it worth it to me to try. It was an unhealthy environment for me. During this time, I made arrangements to begin graduate school the next fall and relocated to another city. I have never looked back since!!! I only wish I had done it 5 years prior. I would be 5 years younger than I am now… I resigned by fax, which some would say was a bad idea, but I could not stomach seeing anybody there. My manager made a note on my file for the company to never rehire me and I thought to myself, “Why the hell would I ever go back there”?!?!?!!?!?
I too quit my job after 11 years working in IT. The good thing is that I started to work for my employer fresh out of high school at the age of 18 so I am still relatively young. About my fifth year in, reality really kicked in and I realized I could not do that job until retirement. So I went back to school to pursue an Engineering degree while continuing to work in order to pay bills and my tuition. As soon as I finished college I booked the hell out of there and quit the job, told my “boss” and HR all the reasons I am leaving and kept it honest. I didn’t have enough space on a piece of paper to air out all of my grievances but I think they got the idea. Of course they gave me the “you’re an asset to this organization and we’re sorry we couldn’t convince you to stay” BS.
I live a very modest life so I managed my finances responsibly so I had ZERO debt when I up and quit so the pressure is not there from a financial point of view. Saving my money helped too.
I learned a lot about myself through those horrible years being underpaid, under-appreciated and overworked. What I originally thought was that I was worthless thinking “if I was so talented then why wouldn’t they pay me my worth” but in reality I was so efficient and competent at my job that I always had spare time to learn new things and thus was given continuous work (why fix it if it ain’t broke?). Meanwhile, others got to goof around or disappear during the shift and still managed to keep their jobs. I guess you would call it rewarding bad behavior or “playing dumb” to avoid extra work on my peers’ part but I never stooped that low. My character never changed, I was able to keep my integrity intact and am glad it held true – even though I was unfairly compensated I did my job to the best of my ability.
Now it is time for an overdue and well earned VACATION. =)
Keep your heads up Ladies & Gents. But don’t wait too long before quitting – you might go INSANE. =P
I was in a good paying job and was constantly promoted and given raises for about 4 years. Then I was put on another shift with a manager that belittled me constantly. I took it for 3 more years. I filed complaints. I filed workman’s compensation when I was injured due to being forced into 56 hour weeks on jobs that anyone can do but the manager decided that rotation was out of the question. I turned in a 17 page report to the owner of the company detailing the situation. None of this changed my situation. No one gave me any quarter. Everyone around me received raises and I still was forced to do the worst of the worst, nonstop, forever. My grandmother was put into hospice care in november and I took time off to visit with her. Upon return I was punished! Finally I quit that job (Via the no call no show method) and didn’t have any contact with them until I showed up months later to collect that hanging around last paycheck that they specifically told me they would not mail. I was forced into a meeting with the owner and explained to him he and his company was full of ****, and they forced me to not give a **** about them because their own records could prove they didn’t give a **** about me. BEST DECISION EVER!!!! Yes life was hard for about 5-6 months. Now my band is getting paid gigs and I actually enjoy every aspect of my life.
#1 reason you shouldn’t quit you don’t have another job lined up.
Had government job for nearly 20 years. Was making well over 6 figures. Management targeted me while letting others slide for same reason. I’m to blame as well.
Figured worse case scenario find another job. Unfortunately I quit right before the worse economy since the depression. Home got foreclosed, saving nearly gone, unemployed for 3 years. I messed up big time.
With my experience going to try to go out on my own.
If you do quit make sure you have another job lined up. Even better if you can go out on your own.
As I write this I’m not sure if I’m fired or they think I quit. WIthout going into it and boring everyone I’ll say that either way I feel awesome about it.
We know ourselves better than we think we do and no matter what our conditioning tells us our intuition will eventually force a change. It’s a survival mechanism not that different than the basic fight or flight andrenaline response when we sense danger.
Know your passion isn’t the tired new age 90’s happy talk you may think it is. I’ve found myself stepping outside the situation and looking at exactly where I’m at with my regular job and what I see I can’t be proud of.
I currently/did work for a supposed “green” company but once I was there for awhile the only “green” they care about is the kind you put in Chase and Bank of America. Weak management and incompetent technical leads are institutionalized there. Problems aren’t solved they’re patched awaiting the next round of bandaids to justify ineffective management. One thing I detest is wasting time and that’s all I’m doing in this job. I like to solve problems and move on, not sweep them under the rug.
Staying for the money or benefits is short term thinking with long term ill effects. The longer you stay in a bad situation the more anger, resentment, stress and physical effects you’ll suffer. Eventually self preservation will kick in and one way or another you will be out of there. Either you’ll quit or do something so outrageous that you’ll get yourself fired. It’s only human nature.
Best to get out before all that happens and focus on what it is that you really want and then go after it. If your knee jerk reaction is that I’m just spewing Life coach BS then you’re not ready for the change and I suggest you stock up on antacids.
The bottom line is if you’re not invested in how you spend your very short life span be it work or otherwise then you’re never going to accomplish anything no matter how hard you try. Frustration will be your constant companion.
I suggest not taking that road.
I have finally resigned from my job this week after 6 months of building up the courage to do so. I was working as a mental health nurse in a care facility for the elderly and I took the job out of sheer necessity after being made redundant from a job that I absolutely loved. I first thought I was unhappy at work because of the situation of being forced to take a job that I would never have considered if I had the luxury of choice. I suppose that was part of it but in reality the main source of my misery is my overbearing bully of a boss. When I interviewed for the job she told me how I would be a valued addition to the team and would be given excellent support from management. What a load of rubbish. The woman can make her mouth say anything. I signed a contract for a 36 hour week and in twelve months of holding my position I have never worked less than a 48 hour week. Typically i put in a 56 hour week. My manager is incredibly manipulative and intimidating and definitely rules through a climate of fear. Perhaps i could have had mire backbone and stood up to her when i was receiving phone calls at 4 in the morning telling me i “had” to cover extra shifts and i “had” to go out and assess patients on my days off. Even being told on one occasion to take my 2 year old son with me and leave him in the car whilst i visited people with psychiatric conditions. (Because I had dared to suggest I couldn’t work that day due to having no childcare). Of course where my child is concerned she received short schrift from me and I told her no way. This led to a disciplinary meeting with her about my lack of commitment to her and the company and my apparent insubordinate attitude. This is just one in a long line of issues within my place of employ. Frankly, I could go in all day! Anyway, I’ve quit and it is liberating! I talked long and hard with my partner about what it would entail if I quit and would we be able to pay the mortgage and the bills. We decided we could and even if it meant things being tight for a while that it was worth any cost just to be happy again. I’m lucky enough to have found another job, working behind a bar. I used to work behind the same bar when I was at college and my best friend still works there. To say I’m excited would be an understatement. I get to spend all day with my beautiful son, I won’t be tired and snappy with my partner and I finally get to be free of the stress. People have told me that I’m throwing my career away but I see it as getting my life back. I have plenty if time for a career, I’m only 28 but that job made me feel 108. Here’s to the future! Good luck to anyone else trying to regain some happiness and quit those life sucking jobs.
I quit a good-paying position three years ago and like to read about similar experiences that people have. I fully understand a person
Easier said than done, I’m afraid… When you live in a country that does not have free health care, and where jobs are hard to come by (like the US), hanging onto a crappy job can mean the difference between staying afloat and sinking.
You missed a crucial reason for not quitting… How do I pay my bills? Student loans, car payment, rent/mortgage… When, like me, you’re only 24, you haven’t had much time to save up in case you find yourself unemployed and searching for a new job for 6+ months (it takes that long here). Jobs at cafes or behind sales counters won’t pay my bills.
I was hoping to read this article and feel validated about wanting to quit my job, and get some inspiration to do it. Now I’m more convinced than ever that I should be responsible and stay, at least until I find something else (have been looking for 7 months).
Having a health care isn’t needed when you’re perfectly living a healthy life. The best article I manage to browse so far, I am fucking quitting my job tomorrow. lol
after nearly 5 stupid years of service… I will set myself free and will be moving towards a better tomorrow. Muhahaha! I’ve really enjoyed reading all the replies and stories of you guys. Wishing all of us the best.
Wow! What a great site for insite lol! I have been back and forth for the last year over quitting my job. I make a lot of money and can afford to be comfortable. But I find myself needing a physical therapist, psychotherapist, massage therapist, life counselor, long pick-me-up talks with close friends, BLOOD PRESSURE medication, and a very, very, very unhappy and unfulfilled personal life. This is all because I feel stuck in a job because of the paycheck. I have been afraid to move on and do what I love to do. I am a great musician. I have been told my some of the best in the industry that I am tops. I need the courage to take a step and do my thing!
I have been in my job for 13 years now. I have come super close to suing my employer for discrimination. They have collectively rallied against me and done some despicable things behind my back to retaliate. I can’t even walk down the halls of the firm without someone rolling their eyes at me. These are new employees I never met. There is serious discussion going on behind my back. I hate it but I march off to work every morning because I feel I will be devastated if I leave and won’t find a way to support myself. I know they have done some very illegal things. I want to contact the state department and give them big trouble. But it makes me more and more angry and bitter toward them. I need to just let it go. I have been having dreams and desires of some of them dropping dead. This is how serious it’s gotten for me. It must be a sign for me to cut my losses and walk away.
I’m thinking of quitting and taking a payout of my 401K to help me live. Many say that’s a big no-no. But at least it will buy me time and keep me from being desolate. It’s hard in the US right now. But I’m in New York. People are always finding a way to make ends meet here. After reading all of these posts I’m starting to believe I can make it as well. I think my new plan will be to stick it out to the end of the year, get a Christmas bonus (which is usually very handsome) and then not come back after the New Year. I’ll start 2012 fresh and in a new direction.
Any and all encouragement is welcome :)
I have been working at a job for about three months now. I just graduated college and found this job right out of a school. The job seemed so cool and the perfect job for me.. Since I’ve started, I have been miserable. I have been sick for three weeks straight, get panic attacks and friends and family have been telling me that I’m acting like a zombie and my personality has been changing.
This article really helPed me realize that this may not be the right job for me or at least not the right time, especially by seeing that I am definitely not alone with these feelings. It is just hard to leave this job because I feel like I need to be there for the kids I work with (I work At a group home/ rehab for high schoolers) and that I need to toughen up because this is what I thought I wanted to do. But I dread going to work everyday, the staff I work with aren’t very supportive, I have kids cussing me out and yelling at me, my job is really just to yell at them and give them timeouts pretty much. I’m not happy and it is affecting my personal life and my own health. I’m just scared to leave the job I thought I was meant to do. But I’m only 22 and need to work on my own life and being happy first, right? I’ve just been so confused!
I’m leaving a job I’ve been at for a little over a year now. To be honest, I do feel that I should have left quite a while ago. From day one I had the feeling this place was going to be a nightmare; I work at a major rural midwestern grocery chain and I have never seen so much corruption and greed in a long time. I’m quitting because I am being worked as a full time employee without the full time benefits and because I was misrepresented on the company’s investments. I didn’t invest any money into this place because I could never get a clear answer as to what exactly I was buying from the company as far as investments go. If a company misrepresents financial or investment information to you, your best bet is to GET OUT. Forget about the politics and crap, if your employer is unwilling to be truthful to you on something like a 401k or stock ownership, leave, and don’t turn back. No sane employer would want you to put up with that.
Diego is right… what if it’s not the job? One can reason it out by saying “It
how is “i’m supporting some i shouldn’t be and quitting would put us both on the street” or “i tried to get another job but it didn’t because my work was giving out false information to where i applied to”?. quitting without having another job lined up is dumb.
I work for a small business and at first I loved it. However, we jumped from a staff of 30 to 120 in less than three years. The owners just weren’t ready for that kind of growth. As a result our management here is nothing but a joke. I feel run-down and underappreciated. My “team lead” wants me to walk on water, but he expects half of the dedication and work that most of the others in my department give him. I know I’m not alone in feeling this either. I’ve actually put in my notice twice now. My boss told me that he would most likely have to lay-off my entire department if I left. He says he can’t replace me and that he won’t be able to keep up with the line of business my department handles if i leave. I work with ten other people. I want to quit, but if they really did the lay-offs? I’d feel awful.
I hate this position that I’ve been put in. No one should have a right to make me feel responsible for the others in my department. The worst part? No one else gets this response if they quit from my department. I am still friends with a few of the people who have left in the last year and they got a completely different speech.
After two years with an employer who wasn’t intune with the employees and the importance of a healthy culture, I resigned. Not a bad place to work … just disheartening to work there. I took a job at a company for less money because I thought “the grass was greener on the other side” but unfortunately has the same unhealthy culture. Been with this company for two weeks and I am already regretting leaving my previous employer. My prior employer, however, is willing to take me back. Should I go back???
It is a nice inspiring post. I am really getting stressed with my work and I worry that if i start taking too much stress right at this age (I am 24) then i guess i will start having lots of diseases in future. Root cause of my stress is the poor management in my work place, staff shortage and poor system. Having to deal with so much of customers (I work in a bank by the way) sometimes I get really stressed out. So I have been planning to quit my job for a quite sometime now. I will quit my job after I get my annual bonus which we will get after a month or two………..Meanwhile I am in a process of looking for another job.
Help, I need to get the hell out of here before my boss and co-workers send me insane, I have never before met such vindictive and hateful people in my life I do not want to be around these people any longer. I am reading all these messages and trying to muster up the courage to get out, before this job ruins me and the shred of a life I have left, as after 10 years in this job it has taken my soul, my looks and my personality of which was happy in my previous life before working in ‘the prison’. My boss is so evil it is unbelievable. Why oh why isn’t something mentioned on the news about bosses such as these and how they can destroy a persons life? Everything else seems to be discussed and bought to the public’s attention and yet this seems to be one area that desperatley needs to be addressed, these bosses can destroy a persons life and drive them to suicide even, and yet no-one seems to be doing anything about it!
The reason I have trouble quitting is that my parents will be mad at me again. I’m currently attending college and I’m finding it very stressful and tiring to hold up a job at the same time, especially a job that I really don’t like. I find that the manager is not very approachable and she is not involved with her employees. It creates an isolated atmosphere and makes me feel like the work I do is not appreciated whatsoever. I do have a chance to get a job at the college over the summer, which I would love to do, as the boss there is very nice and considerate. However, until then, I am stuck with my current job. Once summer is over, I won’t have a job unless I can hopefully find something to do at lunchtime or after school. Please give me some advice. :( I’m starting to pull my hair out.
I’ve been at my retail job for a few years and its literally making me insane. I had put in my notice but than I took it back a few days later because I was so distraught and now I’m planning on quitting my job again soon. WTF did I just do? This job is making me violent against my family and making me cry myself to sleep almost every night. I’m going to quit again in about 3 months from my first notice; oh boy this is not going to be easy.
Just remember everyone if you hate your job THAN QUIT ASAP. If you have a bit of savings great. No job lined up? QUIT ANYWAYS!!! I’m in for some deep shit when I quit; oh well I still 27 so I’ve got some time.
TO Stressed out:
What are your prospects for a job after college?. Consider quitting and getting a student loan. Spend that time you were working on finishing school earlier. Maybe you can try and get a job in something related to what you want to do when you get out of college. Also, take time to meet and speak with managers and human resources people in the field you plan to be working in to find out about job prospects. I often found these people to be approachable. Good luck.
Here is the problem…If the country was in a great place and jobs were a dime a dozen employers would treat us better. This is the terrible part about a bad economy…they know they can treat us any way they want and most won’t leave. Yes we need pay checks and yes most of us want and need health insurance…this is the worst part about it…I just said this today…I make no money now and the stress of a bad work place is killing me…but if I leave then another terrible employer that won’t pay anything will hire me and I start at the very beginning and I am 44 years old then the cycle starts again…I need the pay check!! I want to quit!! I am so stressed out over money as it is I just think not having it will put me over the edge!!
Thank you for this post. There are so many reasons I “should” stick in my job but no matter how much I rationalize it, I KNOW that this job is making me depressed. My partner says that most people dislike their job and mine isn’t that bad and i’m lucky and should just try and be more positive because there a lot of good things about it… I earn good money, I like my colleagues, my boss is relaxed, i’m given flexibility and I can remember a time when the job was bearable. Hardly a toxic environment is it? But I know in my heart that something is making me miserable and I know it’s this job. I have begun to hate what I do. It’s just not the way I want to spend 10 hours a day, 5 days a week for the rest of my life. I’ve wasted 5 years on it already because it pays good money but it’s starting to wear away my soul. I know I should be grateful that i’m not homeless or starving ,but I feel I only have one life and If I am lucky enough to have a choice then I would be a fool if I didn’t try and live it by doing something that I actually care about. I would rather earn half the money, sacrifice eating out and buying nice clothes if it means getting some job satisfaction and being passionate about what I do. If only I knew what that dream job was…guess I’ll have to quit and try and find out…
D*mn well hit me in the gut. I’m a graduate of Media Arts, currently doing marketing for a hotel. Maybe my threshold is just a bit shorter since I’ve been barely into this current company for 8 months- It’s obvious I want to quit, I’ve been vocal about it. But fellow employees suffering the same fate as I am still tell me to “wait for at least a year” since it would look bad on a resume (especially if you want to work in a hotel). Can’t quit anytime soon since I’m supporting a family. I keep telling myself it’s all part of a trial, that they have high hopes for me, they tell me I have a bright future ahead. I sometimes pretend I believe it, but it sinks in that it might not happen anytime soon. I have no manager, I do the work of the manager and my own work which stresses me out greatly. They tell me they’re hiring a manager soon (after 8 months of minimal guidance) but right now, I want out. Why hire a manager when I can just ask for a promotion? Wait, I have minimal experience and as of the moment, minimal pay (think less than $7 a day.) I’d assume there’s going to be this huge salary disparity between me and this future manager. It’s better than nothing, i guess being grateful is a start. I don’t want to be a corporate wh*re. i just want to be happy and creative. And a basement office that leaks and grows molds does not make a good inspiration. I’m confused if I’m just being negative or if all my efforts are just totally not worth it for this pathetic excuse of a company
I spent nearly a decade working as a technical and customer support specialist in an inbound contact centre. I was the person who answered the phone from customers angry over their bill or because their internet, tv or cell phone was not working. People tend to forget their manners when talking to a person over phone who works in a subservient position to them. The company was all about squeezing every last cent out of their workers, and most of management seemed to almost gleefully accept their role as pseudo-slavers. It was probably the most soul-killing job I ever did.
After 5 years of it, both my doctor and I hated it. I told myself many of these excuses, and finally owned up to the fact that without a better resume, I wasn’t confident I could do much better for pay, and when the pay is already just above minimum wage, that’s a really hard one to swallow. I also had enough friends in other contact centres to know I was just jumping fires to switch companies, and at least I liked a group of the people I worked with – some friendships I still maintain today. I made a concious decision that I was actively choosing to stay there until I found a better career, instead of meekly and passively thinking I was doomed to remain there.
And so I started working on myself. What else I would want to do, what I was looking for. I decided money was not the leading factor, though all the other items had to be superb for me to accept a lesser wage. Working with a friend, I slowly started to identify transferrable skills, and piece together a resume, and applying to positions with other companies. While it is likely a process that would have taken most people only a few months, my confidence was in the early stages of being built up, and so it took longer for me.
As well, where I finally decided I wanted to be was notorious to take a year or more to go through the entire selection process. I also had to factor in that due to varying shifts that kept me from having any consisent time off, I would need to use my meagre amount of vacation or sick leave for any interviews I wanted to attend, as management was not exactly open to my career growth.
2 months prior to my 9 year anniversary with that company, I happily bounced into work with a spring in my step that was highly unusual, and caused some confused looks from others. I was so happy, I actually went in, on my vacation day – on my birthday in fact – to tender my very polite and professional resignation, which gave no room for them to try to convince me to stay in their specially-reserved section of hell. Multiple supervisors actually approached me after to ask how I got my job with my new employer, as perhaps it was a time for them to change as well.
Oh, that was a happy day that nearly three years later, still brings a smile to my face. After some special handling by awesome managers who recognized the near PTSD-like condition that my old employer had left me in, I’ve found new confidence in myself, and I now thrive in a career that challenges me, welcomes my input, and supports both my personal and professional growth, wherever that may take me.
The best I could offer to others is this: Identify the exuses or reasons of why you are staying where you are. Dream of better, and then figure out how to get there, because it is possible. May be a rocky road, but the smooth ones really do lose their appeal. Decide that your departure from this company is a definite fact, not a far off wish. If for whatever reason, you can’t immediately just quit right now, then decide what your departure entails, and own that decision. Accept it. Make the conscious decision that you are actively choosing to stay where you are for the short term. Draw lines about what you will accept in your continued employment, and give yourself the all-clear that “if x happens, I quit”, and hold that life line firm. Find out what the rules the employer, not necessarily your boss, has about conflict resolution, and follow it. At that point, what is the worst that can happen? You lose a job you have decided you will be leaving. And in that good-bye process, however long it takes, milk it for all it’s worth; every last transferrable skill, training, knowledge and experience. There’s a certain satisfaction to knowing they are just making you that much more valuable to your next employer.
Cry like a baby when alarm goes off- This book might explain why there are so many crappy bosses/co-workers. http://www.amazon.com/Snakes-Suits-When-Psychopaths-Work/dp/0060837721
I recently left a job that was also draining me. I loved the co-workers but the office was going down and with every lay-off I would get more responsibilities and no benefit. My boss began to be snippy due to her stress, so I didn’t hold it against her. I was also the receptionist for the office (aka wild card of responsibility) and so with consolidation, I had nowhere to go. I did not want to be a receptionist all my life.
I was one class away from getting my BA in history. I did not have time/energy to finish that one class (language) and teaching wasn’t what I wanted to do (only option really for history). I was able to get my associates online in less than 7 months in IT (studied at breaks and at home). Found a job that paid twice what I was making before, great company and doing something I loved (IT/ business solutions), even in this crappy economy. I am working on getting my bachelors in programming and security and loving it.
My parents and siblings live with me, and a majority of my income at my old job went to helping them. My sister is amazing at finances (I am not) and has helped me become more stable. Me quitting was not much of an option, but I did my best to make my old job tolerable for me and my co-workers. It took me months of sending out resumes and learning new skills (on my own time, only me pushing myself) to get where I am and where I
I’m in a job where my boss was given the business at a young age and has never worked a hard day in his life. He constantly talks down to his employees, belittles them and shows he doesn’t cherish employees loyalty whatsoever.
I would love to outright quit, but I’m married, have a mortgage and my first child us on the way. I can’t just quit without something else lined up.
I didn’t read all the post above, but the many i read did speak of personality issues. I think that is my issue. I think every biss is somewhat of an ass and its how you receive it that affects how you feel about your job. In short, just suck it up, do your best and don’t take it personal.
This is my first job and I think I really fell into the wrong place. First it was all nice and easy but as time went by it was not as it seemed first. There is no way to learn or grow, colleagues trying to throw each other done and boss over one another. The management just needs money and nothing else, they’ll do anything for money. They have no respect for the people who work. Yes, i use all the excuses (Except I am not a quitter) to stay on, especially the fear of not getting another job. I feel like I’m in hell but I’ve finally decided to go for it and get the hell out of here. That will make my colleagues happy but i don’t care because I know I will be happy forever leaving this stupid place.
I’ll will surely be back to tell my happiness once i leave.
I have Resigned my job at last… Feel so relieved and soooooooooo Happy… I am going to do my Higher studies…. My dream is at last going to be fulfilled :) :) :)
I left a job after 20+years.New boss was a narcissists/sociopath.One of the higher ups protected him.Had a target on my back from day one.Several good people left the department.I saved like hell for five years and left myself.Almost did”nt make it.Never been happier.Alexander,you get it. Cheers.
My soul is slowly withering away as an employee of the Ontario public service. I need to go back to school before I can leave, working here in low-level mindless jobs has not given me an advantage in the current job market. I would give anything to go back in time and turn down this job. I have nothing positive to say about working here. Nothing. Don’t believe the myth of working for the government. It’s a lie.
So sorry about your situation. Find myself in the same boat. I work in a hospital where I thought that serving the public in a caring capacity would be where I fit in. I’ve found it to be just another place where the bosses facvourites get all the rewards and support and the guys like me doing the real work just get dumped on and ignored, if not yelled at. I feel like the “N” word here. I’m not sure what advice to give you. I’ve tried to find another job but there is nothing else out there. The idea that you can just quit and find your happiness is not that easy. Often only works in the movies. The sad fact is that many of us will probably trudge along in a sucky job until we can retire, as unfair as that is. Most people don’t have any honor, and that seems to go double for supervisors. I regret that all I can do is commiserate and hope that somehow things will get better in the future. God bless.
I’m pleased that I’ve found that link.. that article really helped me and I can see that there are many people in the same situation! I’ve been working in a private nursing home for few years.. I feel completely unappreciated and I get sick quite often. Last year I was hospitalized because of stomach cramps. Doctor thought that I had an acidity.. yeah I had, the reason why is: stress. Now I’ve an intercostal neuralgia, again stress! Very often had headaches, stomach pain, back pain.. etc…
Now I’m on sick leave and I really feel sick when I start to think that I’ve to drop there my resign letter. But I’ve to be strong and believe in myself that I can do it. So fingers crossed! Monday is MY day! No more stress!
I wish good luck all of you!
Love this article
Very reassuring to hear a lot of people go through the same feelings and situations. I think it can be very isolating going doing a job that makes you ill when everyone around you seems happy with their jobs.
I’ve handed my notice in last week after 6 years with the same company – 4 1/2 amazing years and then came a promotion into a department that has been like hell. I’ve put on about 20 pounds through comfort eating, my hair is thinner and I have developed dry itchy skin. It got to a point where I cry every night thinking about going into work and often have to go to the toilet in the day to cry away from my colleagues. Extreme anxiety and depression has set in to a point where I literally thought I’d be quite happy falling down the stairs in work and breaking my leg so I didn’t have to go in. I must admit in moments of darkness I’ve even thought I didn’t want to be alive anymore because I felt like a failure for being stuck in this job. Everything else in my life is perfect (family, friends, relationship) I wondered why one aspect of my life could make me so ill, but it figures since you spend most of your time in work. Last week was the final straw another Monday morning commute to work crying on the way, I arrived at my desk and was overwhelmed by how sad I was. Enough was enough I asked my manger for a meeting and handed in my notice (3 weeks left to go). I feel like the biggest weight in the world has been lifted off my shoulders. Am I nervous that I might not get another job straight away – you bet I am, Am I scared people will think I’m a quitter – damn right. However I made the choice of saving my health there was no way I was going to start taking depression tablets just to get through a 9-5 job it just isn’t worth it. I’m now looking forward to the possibilities of my future : )
I’ve been at my job for over a decade, most of the time it was good but in the past 2 years it’s been awful. I wound up with a pay cut, it was either that or get laid off. Nice way to show appreciation for a decade on the job with no calling in sick or lateness, eh? It’s all I can do to hang on. My boss completely ignores me and acts nice to everyone else. I’m sure he wants me out but won’t fire me. So I took a chance and applied for another job a few days ago. One with better pay, benefits and a chance to move up. I’m scared. Scared as hell but at this point I’d rather feel the fear and do this anyway than spend one more day feeling like a neglected wife whose husband no longer loves her at all.
When you start hoping of dying in your sleep to end the misery,what must one do?
I would love to quit, but then to not be able to pay my mortgage or bills is even scarier.
What to do???
I know that I need to quit my job, but I just can’t do it right now. I have a genetic predisposition towards a certain type of cancer, and if I leave my job and lose my health insurance, no one will ever insure me again.
This job is slowly sucking out my soul. I went into healthcare thinking that I would help people and make a difference. I thought that I would feel fulfilled. Instead, I find myself exhausted, sick, and worn out. I am on call three nights (at least) a week – which means that I have three nights a week with little to no sleep, since I am at the hospital all night. Then the next day I have to work another 12 hour shift, with another night on call. Most weeks, I will get about six hours sleep TOTAL over three days. I can’t keep doing this.
I have been at my job for almost four years and have never called off sick once, even though there were times that I should have. One of my coworkers calls in “sick” whenever she wants a day off (at least one day a month), and then I have to cover her shift. If she doesn’t want to take call, then I have to do it in addition to my own call shifts. This coworker is a manipulative sociopath who lies, cheats, steals, you name it, and yet my boss says if I don’t like my coworker’s behavior, “you know where the door is.”
My department is only composed of four people. The sociopath has been here 10 years. I have been here 4. No one else has made it to 4 years. She grinds up people and spits them out and no one cares. The answer is to hire someone else. In the 4 years that I have been in this horrible place, we have gone through FIFTEEN different workers. None has lasted beyond 2 years except me. But, hey, my boss says that we have a low turnover rate! In what universe is losing fifteen people in four years in a department of four a “low” turnover rate? And every single person quit because of the sociopath and the callback. But nothing is done, just hire someone new and let them burn out too.
I have always had migraines, but they are getting worse and more frequent. But I am not allowed to call off when I have one. I am FORCED to come to work by my boss, who says he will fire me if I miss one day, but the sociopath can miss at least one day a month and no one says a word. I had a fever of 104 and was throwing up all day at one point (flu) and was FORCED to come into work because the coworker “had a backache” and wouldn’t come in to work. I was exposing everyone I came in contact with that day to the flu, but my boss didn’t care.
I am trying to continue my education so I can further my career and hopefully get out of this place, but with my migraines and depression, it is very hard for me to study to achieve my goals. I have gained fifty pounds since I started working here, most of which comes from the sheer amount of alcohol I consume on my days off so I can numb my depression. It is nothing for me to go through a bottle of gin (750 mL) a week, plus three or four bottles of wine. My father was an alcoholic, and I am afraid this job is turning me into one too.
Like I said, if I could leave this job I would, but with the health insurance thing, I can’t. I am a bitter, jaded, mean person now. I am afraid that I will be this way for life.
Moma: I don’t know much about the nursing profession, just that it is one of the highest stress jobs, and that the hours can be gruelling. But the attitudes of your coworker and manager that you describe is awful.
Do you not have any labour laws or union to reach out to? Or even an escalation process within the hospital that you use to reach out to management above your manager? He may not think much of the turnover or risk of lawsuit from a patient who is affected by you having the flu, but certainly someone above him will. In North America, depending on the laws, at least one of these options is always available. There’s also usually legitimate lawyers offices who will give you a free consultation to help you figure out what you can pursue to have your employer repair your workplace.
As for the health insurance neccessity, look into it again. I think pre-disposition and actually having the illness are two different things. Even if it’s difficult to be insured, it’s not likely impossible, though you may end up having to prioritize a larger portion of your income to pay for that coverage. Health insurance is, afterall, a business, and businesses do like making money.
On a personal note, about your depression, alcohol is a depressant. It really won’t help, and alcoholism is not likely something another health provider will taken on, either. I hated my call centre job, and I joked that the place was driving me to drink, but I didn’t let it. It was hard at times to want to crawl out of bed, but I forced myself to think of something good everyday. Slowly preceptions shift, and you’ll then have the ability to look for more good things a day, and then begin to enjoy your time off as just that. It won’t fix the workplace crap, but it will help you and how you deal with it.
Not to go all Eckhart Tolle or anything, but quite frankly, if you state you will be a bitter, jaded, mean person for the rest of your life, then you’ll likely get that wish, as much as you hate it. But change it to “I refuse to let this make me a bitter, jaded, mean person”, and you’ll likely get a wish that you’re happier with.
I wish you all the best. Chin up, back straight, and you will either bring about a change for the better in your workplace that you can work for, or you will find your out to something better. I believe it is possible; you just need to believe it too.
Ok. What’s the percentage nowadays..about 75% of Americans do not LOVE their job? I don’t love my job. I don’t hate my job. I don’t like my job. I HAVE TO PAY MY BILLS THOUGH. And, although I’ve suffered from one panic attack, gained 35lbs because of the job (and many other personal issues that didn’t make the situation better), I’ve learned to become content. I believe that, God speaks through universe…and if the universe says, “Hey…what do you think you’re doing? You’re trying to be successful? Trying to get a better job in a jacked up economy?..HAHAHAAAA! No, no…just stay there until I’m ready for ya to move…”, and my rent is due, and car is almost paid off (but not quite), then I just may stay in one spot just a little bit longer. What I’m trying to say is, you can’t just say to yourself..”Hmm, gosh I hate being here everyday and I wanna do something else. I guess, hmm, guess I don’t like my job. I think i’ll quit!!! :D”…and not suffer any repercussions from your decision. Some of us HAVE to give it more time…..plus I’ve kind of gotten used to this “luxurious” lifestyle ya know? Where you can eat, sleep (in a bed), wake up and get ready for work all over again so you can eat, sleep, etc….I’ll just say, I’m thankful for my job until something better presents itself in the form of a networking contact, job, or rich husband. lol (that last one was a joke, for those of you who are funny-challenged (:) Also this is just my take, for my personal situation. I agree that those of you who are suffering extremely emotionally and ESPECIALLY physically need to leave ASAP. No job is worth your health and mental well-being. Just try to be strong and stand your ground as an employee if you feel you are being treated unfairly.
This is an important post.
If something is damaging your health don’t just leave. Plan first. Planning is a great stress reliever. Which is more stressful; job or no job? But you must not allow stress to corrode mentally and physically.
I have used most of those excuses listed. I quit my permanent job back in 2008, it was the most scary thing but the most exciting time also. I like a lot of people here felt very trapped and unhappy in my work, I do not envy some of the situations people are in on here but for me I was not going to stand continuing to feel annoyed, frustrated, having my weekends/evenings wasted by thoughts and the dread of work. It consumed my life. When I burst into tears on the 2nd to last day of my vacation knowing I had to go back I knew enough was enough.
I know not everyone is able but for me I chose a fixed point in time where I was getting out , I saved and saved all I could in that time and then took the plunge and I have never regretted it since.
I think its good practice to try and build up a contingency fund anyhow in life to give you choices when any bad situations come up. One thing I have learnt is that even in a permanent job you are not secure, bottom line is you are only as secure as your notice period, you could walk in tomorrow and be served notice as they are laying you off. You need to ask how would you mange/cope? In the event this does not happen then the money sits there for these type of situations also where you need to get out and helps give you that choice to make if you want it.
Having a plan makes a huge difference! I have come across a lot of people who have hated their jobs so I ask them ‘what are you doing about it ?’ I have had the response so many times ‘nothing really you have to work I get on with it’ its almost like they are shrugging their shoulders and giving up under the impression its just ‘something everyone has to just do and no one likes their job’
Have a plan however small, however much you think you can’t, work towards something that could possibly help you make that change, it might not happen over night and may take long time but just working towards something that could give you that choice or change can make a world of difference. When you don’t do anything then you know things are not going to change, just trying to make the change gives you that chance.
When I had a very very bad job I started planning my escape, straight away it was a positive as it meant I disconnected a bit more from the job and just saw it more as a means to an end as I had something other than the job to focus on and work towards. Whenever I had a bad day I would think of my plan and it would make me feel a bit better.
I have always been self employed so am saddened by the amount of comment here. I have employed a large workforce and prided myself on being aware of the pressures on others. This does not mean that my life has been without enormous pressures and stresses many caused by employees. When aspects of work bothered me I retrained so that I could begin to enjoy them or else I delegated them to those who did enjoy them. Training and appraisal in the workplace is an essential component of a stress free environment.
If life is not enjoyable it is best to change. However, if anxiety or depression are underlying stress at work, the stress will follow wherever you go. An important first step in dealing with anxiety is to be found above this comment. Writing down and analysing a problem can be an enormous help. natural remedies such as exercise and diet changes are very helpful also. Not everyone can afford to leave their job at present.
Finding a new interest which becomes a challenge can be very therapeutic also. What if that challenge could be found in your workplace.
I guess it may be time for me to quit.
Let you identify whether there’re signs i must quit :
After i found a security guard job that offered me 40 hours a week and minumum wage, my career counselor in governmentally funded program counted me as successfully getting a full time employment and he had done the job, even though he promised he would mentor me ultimately to a long term meaning career ( long term goal ) after
landing a survival job such as retail cashier, dish washer, security guard, warehouse packer, flag person ( short term goal )..
Even the resume he designed for me for survival jobs ( in order not to look over-qualified to the employers ) I had to rewrite, using his version i even could not get survival job. It also reflected he looked
down on security guards and even the whole industry.
The boss was fine, coworkers fine too, but the wage was low. However, it’s small security company not as famous as something like Securitas, Garda, and almost no one knew ( the boss’s family business, and management style was like a family grocery corner store too )
Though I worked 40 hours a week initially, it’s not predictable and long lasting that way, after my boss lose the site i worked in, he
moved me to another site that had only 8 hours a week ( and even had to take 1-hour trip getting there from home ) , minimum wage too. I had to wait for him to find another site to make up 40 hours a week and let me know.. However, I had waited one-month long ,
so i found another security company ( small one too ) to make up
Meanwhile, I also had picked up two friends ( owners of two small security firms ) through networking. I haven’t worked for the “friends” yet.. They told me recently they might have gigs for me
In near future, I may have to work for 4 security companies at the same time, as long as the timing of their schedules is not conflicting,
probably, assuming they all have gigs for me, i will have to work double shifts on same day.
Working 2 shifts a day can get me abundant wages, but i cannot work that way life long, doing all the same things, regardless whichever boss calls me to go to whichever site, what i do is all the same, walking, sitting, standing, watching, very easy., earning minumum wages accumulated by hours. I even don’t know how the bosses/friends think of me.
Though security is an industry, there’re more jobs and advancements than guards/watchmen in the field, none of the bosses mentioned above provides any advanced training, they
don’t sponsor continuing education either. Plus, people on these advanced jobs in the same field may never been security guards before, even my bosses may not ever worked as security guards during their early years. Security guards are not qualified for other security-related jobs, and one does not need to be security guard to go for the security-related jobs.
If I were young with ambition to go to policing/military career, or old semi-retired from policing/military career, working this way works better for me, i don’t need to quit at all. But I am at my 30’s, not having military/policing background, have educated and worked in
other irrelevant field before landing the security guard job.
If you’re university educated and a minority (read “looks Black”) then you have no choice but to take whatever job will TAKE you and pay you and put up with all the bull crap shit they want to hand you on the job, because if you quit you may not get hired anywhere else again for so long you’ll wind up on the streets in-between. In other countries there is “social assistance” to help you once you exhaust your unemployment benefits from looking fruitlessly for another job and when that takes YEARS you still have a “safety net” to fall back on. Not in MOST of the United States. Job searches go WAY longer for minorities who are university-educated so no, we DON’T have the “luxury” of quitting jobs that are killing us. And I do mean KILLING us. I have stroke level blood pressure from being an on-call “supply” teacher as that’s the only thing hiring anywhere, and if I quit entirely I will wind up sleeping in my car before I find anything else that will take an educated “Red” Indian minority woman. Yeah, you know what, European white people, CRY ME A RIVER. I have to take shit on the job or else it’s NO job. And do you know how bad the treatment in “welfare” medical situations is over here? They make you want to take your University diplomas, mix them with Hemlock and drink it!! Try being long-term unemployed as a female racial minority in America – out on the street with the criminals, rapists and other dregs of society, and then see if you advocate quitting a job that’s just making you deathly ill.
I wouldn’t recommend quitting without another job lined up or something big that comes up like college or joining the military. I did this once and it may have felt good initially it didn’t last too long. I’ve found myself just hanging around the house all day doing almost nothing. I did have a plan but it didn’t go as expected; luckily I still had savings. Some people can afford to quit without a job lined up but even then it’s always good to have a job to go to in the morning and keeping productive in society. Now I have to address why I left and the gap in my resume; grrrrr and it’s not easy nor fun. If you have a job that you absolutely hate do your best to use coping techniques and use as much of your vacation as possible. Remind yourself that this is only temporary and of course have a plan. After work go to the gym, hop in the jauzucci, or you can even go to the bar. While your doing that continue to submit your resume and working on yourself. It’s tough out there but just in there and you will find success.
Is it Monday morning which has provoked this activity? My first instinct was that I am lucky that I have always been self employed but then recall that it was not always fun going to work. What is certain is that if the problem is cauesed by stress or anxiety, changing jobs may not solve the problem. These problems reside in the mind and travel with you finding another outlet elsewhere. The advice of going to the gym after or before work is importamt. Fitness helps the state of mind and rounding off the working day with activities puts the time at work in perspective. It is not your life, jus part of the day.
Dear Alexander Kjerulf,
I have been in No. 1 to 7 reason.
Before I found this article.
I work here in Middle East away from my family and all.
And for the past three years and 10 months, their is no day or week that I didn’t think of quitting my current job, until last month that I totally decided to quit and since last year I have been thinking to resign. On my anniversary date according to my contract I’ll be four years in this company and four years in the same position, my increment was 6.25% of my salary every year (sometime was late). And I am not happy about that because I know what I am capable of and what I did to the company to support it to grow. My General Manager thought that my position is the easiest position in the company but less he knew I work my a** in the company for the sake of team work then he till to my face that my job is very easy. I hate my General Manager who don’t recognized his manpower who work hard, he only recognized the people who he only saw who work. Least he knew that the one he thought is working is the absolute lazy person on the company, the one who really work is the one who he think is not working. The common problem working in Middle East if you are not belong in Arabic people and English people, but you belong in somewhere in Asia the discrimination here is very high. I feel very intimidated every time they laugh in front of me and they talk in there native tongue it make me feel like a whore in front of them, I wear jeans every day so that I won’t let them see me some kind of low class person in the world. They give a lot of opportunities to there same nationality then they will order you to train this person who don’t know anything, after they learn they have the been promoted higher position than you are. So now I’m so excited to let them know what I am planning on my anniversary day. I hope there will be no problem happen by then…. Now I feel better…..
what would you suggest for someone who is unhappy in they’re job because its just not what they want to do but to do training for a more suitable job would mean becoming homeless because their finances cant allow both?
On April 18, 2013, the best thing that could have happened to me did. I was terminated, but with a severace package. My new manager and I bumped heads often and there were also verbal altercations. She has been one of the worst managers I have ever had and I’ve been working for many years. Additionally, I believe she lied to the company about having a degree, which I often questioned. Anyways, she made upper management think I was making a lot of mistakes, which I had been there for seven years. What she failed to realized is my duties didn’t change when she came on board, so I knew my job–she on the other hand did not. I will be starting a brand new job tomorrow (June 17, 2013) and I’m very excited. I don’t have to worry about all those unprofessional people at my last job who failed to put the client’s interests first.
My time was right and I got the opportunity, I am starting back in the same industry which I left 3 years back and was struggling to get in that role. And now that I have got it, it’s time to prove to myself and rise up.
I would say grab the opportunity before the surrounding sucks you in.
Interesting article especially since I moved to the Startup capital…California!
I knew that I would never quit, so I gave them ample reason to terminate me. Best and scariest thing I ever did and should have done it a long time ago. I believe things happen for a reason, so onward and upward and never look back!
I wish more people would quit those crappy jobs, especially the most talented people. The reason is that when talented individuals “stick it out” for whatever reason it sends a message to management that they don’t need to work to retain top talent, they can treat you like dirt or just plain ignore all prospects of career development and their top people will just stick around forever anyway. If top people quit more often then employers would be forced to work to keep them. Having worked in places with a high density of employers and a low density of employers I’ve seen both.
The worst is when the top employees have families and wont leave because of family, but they forget that they (and their happiness) are also a part of that family.
For me, the feeling of getting choked and being in my sweet spot was a wake call. Therefore, I decided to relieve myself of this choke and kick my butt out of comfort zone and I’m in a very positive space at the moment for doing what I did.
I don’t know where to begin to describe how HARD it is being forced by circumstance (financial responsibilities) to suffer a toxic workplace. It’s worse when the toxicity isn’t just “environmental” but when you, as a capable, intelligent and willing person are targeted personally, blackballed or otherwise to be a special victim of that toxicity. It does destroy you.
I have read through the entire thread of this blog commentary looking for signs that others have been through or are going through the hell I’m currently living. I’m so happy to have found so much of my own circumstance reflected.
I won’t describe my situation in detail. It’s all here in one form or another. I’ll just say that I’m 47, started a federal government job at 39, was full of potential, hope and enthusiasm when I started; after three years I spoke out against an abusive manager (together with 4 of her employees), saw the manager succeed in convincing the directorate that the employees were the real problem, and have been transferred from one dead end make work position to another ever since. Today, like yesterday, I sat at my desk for 7.5 hours, speaking to nobody, having nobody speak me. The chronic HURT of passive rejection by people whom I respect ( or want to respect) is killing me. They erase you in government. If you quit they don’t care. If the projects don’t get done they don’t care. Words can’t express the DISGUST I feel for this toxic workplace.
But I still won’t quit because I desperately need the income to pay debts and pay the rent. But I will start my quit plan. In three years, I will turn 50. I hope to have my debts paid by then. There is no way I could afford to quit now. I only hope that a postponement, in the form of a commitment to quit in three years, will help get me through the next three years. Those next three years are lost, then. They own me, and will continue to own me until my debts are paid.
For an entire year I couldn’t get to sleep the night before a workday, and I chalked it p to perimenopause due to my age. Then the manager that was stressing me out and micromanaging me quit and suddenly I was able to sleep at night again. She had been there a year – exactly the same amount of time I’d started developing insomnia, weird coincide I guess. Well she’s been gone for 6 months and while I’m now able to sleep at night, all of the issues haven’t gone away. The culture at this organization is toxic. Apparently it takes 3-4 supervisors to “manage” every actual person who does actual work (get in the way and cause problems). When left to my own devices I am far more productive and the quality of my work is higher than when I am being micromanaged. This organization is ruled by committee. You cannot do the tiniest thing around here without 6 people signing off on it. It’s comedic most of the time. And very unhealthy and counter intuitive. I know it’s time for me to spread my wings and fly away from this toxic environment, but the question is, where to? Health insurance is the biggest reason I’ve stayed.
and one more is “I can handle it, must go on through this life trouble”.
I’m curious about your thoughts and knowlege in one area not mentioned. Am I too old to change jobs? I am 55. I have been in this company for 16 years. I’ve hated the last 14 years. I am never recognized for my quality work. Will anyone out there hire me because I don’t have that many working years left? Thank you. G.
I like this post.
My co is struggling for working capital and doesnt pay me on time also salaries are less. I am in a dilemma, i’ve made my place in this co.in the last one year since joining and my bosses like me. But I feel like quitting as sal is less. Another thought which holds me back is that I should stick around longer so that it shows on my cv and then I can jump to a better one.
I am finally getting over medical issues that i encountered from 2 toxic work environments . I was on a medical leave of absence due panic attacks,insomnia and i almost had a stroke. I decided quit this year but the best thing i did was save my money while working but i have learned a valuable lesson no stressful job is worth sending you to the grave. I am more selective when it comes to getting a job. I look at the big picture. I look at work environment,flexibility and having a respectful boss is important. I wish everyone success looking for a new job never give up! but having a back up plan will make you feel at ease.
Companies in the US have far too much leverage – even with Obamacare in place which at least gives us an option), for someone making US$50,000 or more, there are no tax credits and good plans cost $500 and up per month. My current employer pays the full cost of healthcare, i get tax-exempt unlimited metro fare and they contribute 10.5% on top of employee contributions to our 401K. I have a plan lined up for an independent business, 2 committed clients, and still I’m terrified of leaving because of having to take on the cost of all of those benefits myself. It’s crippling, and keeps Americans from doing useful work rather than slaving for corporations all their lives.
I am currently working in a established and traditional food industry for 2 months, that company is having a slow pace working environment, colleagues are free enough to chit-chatting and surfing internet.
The system and management is messy as same problems repeat everyday.
As for my personality, I prefer to work in a face pace environment, currently, my job tasks are not many, however, I would find anything to do just to fill my working time full (because I am always having free time).
Working issue, messy systems made me feel that this company is not having a strict control and good management, and poor IT structure caused my productivity decrease.
Personal issue, my director and sales manager are liking me for being a hardworking employee. However, my colleagues are not fancy on my working style, therefore, I am always alone and very quiet in the office.
Most importantly, I have learnt nothing related to my study (which I am so eager to obtain the knowledge and experience that related to my study).
As mentioned by the author, I am really concern about my CV, as a fresh graduates, I am still lack of experience and requirements to get a good job with good pay. In addition, food industry will be very busy in year end, I couldn’t leave the company as soon as I wish even though I am sick of the job tasks and the environment.
Therefore, I am still struggling in this job environment and wondering is quitting this job is my best decision, because it is hard for me to get my ideal job in my current state.
No, if you’re any race other than White Caucasian, the reasoning that “there are no other jobs that will hire ME” is not only perfectly rational but WAY too REAL. If you have brown skin, a Maths teaching license, a law degree, and a degree from Yale, you bet your life there really will not be any or many other options to the ONE job you manage to find after years of searching, applying, having phone interviews and showing up for the face-to-face and then hearing nothing from them again, EVER. “From Sea to Shining Sea” and also abroad. The ONE job you finally GET, will probably treat you like dirt but you’d better NOT quit because it might be years without unemployment, without health care, (or worse: relying on the US’ idea of the “free clinic” system which is notoriously racist and demeaning to any patient who’s brown skinned and happens to have more college degrees than the “doctors” – read, “interns,” “residents” and “nurse practitioners.”) and after a while without a place to live. When all of THAT happens just because it’s soul-crushingly impossible to find a job fast enough to keep it from happening, it belies your education and upbringing. You’ll become the most articulate and well-spoken person sleeping in their car with all their college degrees for blankets.
Yes, for some of us out here quitting is stupid, unless they’re actually posing a physical threat and even sometimes then if you report that to the police you get yourself fired anyway. THEN you sue for wrongful termination and a hostile workplace.
Fantastic article ! I have just quit my job recently and I feel great ! I am a civil engineer having graduated a few years ago yet I was treated like dirt at work. Being more qualified than all of my bosses I was constantly shoved around and bullied, made false promises of training only for it to have never materialised. Requiring good work experience to register as a Professional Engineer with the engineering body, I was never given the opportunity to work as an engineer despite the job being agreed to during my interview and stated on my employment contract. instead I was made to perform duties applicable to a clerk and ill treated and sworn on a daily basis to top it all off. After putting up with it for 2 years I resigned without giving notice and it has been the best thing I could ever do ! Has anyone else had a similiar experience ?
The last job I left was a retail job and I’m glad I left a job of 5 years. I left with with a notice though. Don’t stay at a job you hate because you have every right to leave unless you’re under contract. If you dreed getting up in the morning to work than it’s time to go. I do have health insurance so I don’t how it would affect Obamacare. I’ve set a date for myself and if I don’t find a job by this certain date than I’m quitting my job. I know people are going to say why are you quitting a job in a bad economy? They just don’t get it.
I was in a really bad job for a while and now find myself so beat down that I do not believe I can do anything anymore. I would love to find a mentor or someone interested in helping me grow but most people only seem to be out for themselves. Suggestions?
I agree it is important to move on, BUT, I’m facing these facts: 1. Mistakenly took what I thought would be a much better job in a “skid-mark” of an area in a “skid-mark” state; 2. The prospects for “happier” job with continued state retirement is non-existant; 3. I have just 6 years before earning full state retirement; 4. My spouse and 85-year-old mother agreed to come here with me and its 300 miles from where we lived for 24 years; 5. I ran up and still have over $15,000 in credit card debt as a result of the move 2.5 years ago.
What to do in a situation like this? I’m not free and easy to just quit and flit off to find a better, happier job. Trust me, the leader at my job is a textbook example of the tyrannical, bullying, petty, insecure, “monster” boss who actually plans out how to sabotage my work so that things always get delayed and put off until an emmence amount of vital things are due (all at one!) with only one person to do it all: me.
I’ve sought out mental health counseling to address this and respectfully suggest another approach when leaving isn’t really an option. methodically and carefully take away the power a bad boss has over you by redirecting their anger and hostility away from you by stating clearly that you are asking from now on that you be addressed professionally when dealing with the work. Let them know you need specifics as they relate to your work and that you are requesting they conduct themselves in a professional manner when working with you and you will continue to do a very good job for them. Tell them you are confident this will happen since it would otherwise seem personal. Do in a very calm manner with little to no inflections in your voice. Head held up, regaining the self-confidence you deserve, you are gently, professionally, and within your rights as a human being, taking control and shifting their focus….that or seek legal counsel, use your notes, evaluations, memos, emails, etc and file suit and promise to go very public with your grievance if they won’t settle and go to court.
Just an idea. Heck the meeting to take back your dignity with respect at least changes the dynamics as long as you stay resolute, professional and courteous.
I have just quitted a job that sucked 2 days before and you wont believe how relieved I am after reading this blog.
I have been feeling guilty to quit the job & constantly worried about my expenses & other liabilities. I have stayed in this job for almost 2 years for many of the reasons listed above.But nothing feels better than quitting the job that was eroding a piece of my soul each day.
It’s sad when we have to deal with a boss who is a bully and worst gets away with this type of behavior. Stress, pressure, health problems and anxiety are of the past. Lesson learned, I will never work for an organization that encourages this type of bullying behavior. NEVER AGAIN!
I left a management job I had held for 12 years in April 2015. I was being pushed out so that the General Manager’s brother could have my job after years of hard work making it a success. They did move me to another location, where the employees were know as the misfits. And my pay would have gone down because of the lack of earning a bonus in this location. I went to work for a competitor company and after four weeks I realized that even though I had the same job title my job was very different. I decided to leave since I did not see it going where I had been and I did not want the just hang around and collect a paycheck when I knew I was not staying. Now I have been out of work for six months and I my concern is what I should be telling recruiters when they ask the question about why I left these two jobs. I have being completely honest but I don’t think that is working. I have years of management experience and I am also older which I think is an issue. Any thoughts about how I should handle these questions? I am happy to be out of the first job I left since I was not treated fairly! Any advice is greatly appreciated.
The below paragraph so succinctly summarizes the crux of the matter:
“Many of us would be much happier at work if we quit bad jobs sooner. I’ve talked to many people who have finally managed to quit a bad job and only wished they’d done it sooner. I have yet to meet a single person who quit a crappy job only to wish they’d stayed on longer.” It could not have been written any better. Toxic workplaces are a direct result of toxic individuals at the workplace. These people are the ones who carry a complex around them, are typically long timers who hunt in packs, are generally part of the inner circle of the top men and invariably think of themselves as the only ones who are smart. This article provides excellent perspective on why fooling yourself to stay put will do more harm than any good.
These reasons are like those vindications numerous are utilizing when inquired as to why they’re not yet leaving their damaging life partners.
:) :) :)
The author clearly hasn’t had the experience of living on his own, paying all his own bills and rent and being in an awful, bullying and dead-end job. Quitting is the answer???? Yeah just quit, go to the jobcentre and tell them, don’t get money for 13 weeks, can’t pay rent, get evicted, become homeless, no money, no family or friends. Yes, somehow the terrible job seems more attractive.
I find myself in this predicament with my current job. What started out as a nice encouraging environment has turned into an utter toxic nightmare in the space of 2 years. The environment changed 6 months ago when a new mangement was installed… who are quite simply the worst passive aggressive bullying psychopaths you could encounter. They have single handedly turned the office into a cesspit of paranoia and backstabbing. I know many in the office who are looking elsewhere, unfortunately I happen to live in a city with little opportunity. I have actually started looking miles away for jobs – I would relocate but my gf has a steady career where we live.
I also have this fear that the grass will not be greener in another job… since graduating in 2010 i have worked 5 jobs in my industry, 2 of these jobs were short term contracts -basically just whatever I could find in a direbolical economy.
If I’m being honest I would like to change careers but I honestly don’t know what in. Not to mention, I’ve already made the mistake of racking up student debt to do a degree I have no passion for and chose at the immature age of 18. Im 28 now and feel like the best years of my life are passing me by. What annoys me most is my degree seemingly has no transferable skills into other industries – More like employers are too rigid in their approach to consider other people wih different skills :/
Anyways I know I should just get out of this job and quit (I’ve done it before without another job to go to), however I fear my job hopping cv will make me unemployable… despite my reservations for my chosen career. Gotta earn money somehow right?
I resigned in February 2016 and wish I had left earlier. I was a target of bullying, harassment, mobbing and discrimination. I was treated like a common rag/garbage.
They recorded me with their phones during one of our daily morning meetings, cut me off from introducing myself during a conference call, scream at my desk area so I am unable to get work done etc. They lied against me and spread false rumor about me. I was the only black and immigrant in that department, the rest were all Caucasians. They will gather and laugh at me wondering why any sane human being will sit and take all that crap except of course I most be desperate.
Before relocating to Saskatoon for that position, I had a spotless record, I didn’t drink alcohol or smoke, no criminal record but a track record of academic and work excellence. The only reason I stayed back was because my family and friends kept saying the economy was bad, if I walk away the bullies win bla bla bla. Now I have quit when things became extreme and abusive without a reference and a hard retaliation for filing a complaint against them at work. Since I didn’t quit early, I am now jelly, full of fear and anxiety. I have lost confidence at job interviews. Above all, I don’t know how to get over the bullying and harassment that I faced at work.
I have received interview invites from better jobs with better pay but I am afraid because my previous traumatic experience still worries me. So my advise is simply, it is better to leave when the ovasion is loudest or things are still in the beginning stage than to leave when it gets worse because the consequences will be greater than no money, no health benefits, and unemployment. Remember you wear the shoes so you alone know where it hurts so it is never a shame to quit regardless of what people think.
I started a new job in February and walked out two weeks ago. I was employed in a senior managerial position and expected things to be better organised at the top.
The working culture in my department was very poor. My direct superior was emotional, unstable, aggressive, full of negative comments and put downs which were meant to publicly humiliate people. This had a horrible effect on the entire team, there was a culture of being guarded, a culture of fear. People did not interact normally, a lot of blame-shifting, bullying and spitefulness. I was provided with no guidance and induction to my job but expected to perform and bring about change. Whenever I made suggestions or attempts to change anything, my supervisor attacked with snide comments and reported me to HR under false reports of wrong-doing for not ‘following procedure’. It was very bizarre. The last incident happened when I returned from a 5-day holiday. I walked into the office and had a letter placed on my desk saying I was being investigated for ‘not following instructions or procedures’ for something I hadn’t done. During my absence my subordinates were questioned about me behind my back. It was the last straw, my health had deteriorated somewhat in the preceding weeks, due to the level of stress and I felt I was being ‘hunted’. I left the office at the end of the day, got sick leave from the doctor and handed in my notice the following day. I don’t have another job lined up and am applying at the moment. The decision was not easy to make as you have moments of panic and think you’ll end up unemployed forever and will suffer serious financial consequences or it will mar your stellar resume. In spite of this, I don’t regret my decision. Your health, your sanity, your relationships with your family, values and your self-esteem have more value than any job. If a job begins to eat into these areas or is destructive, it stops being a job but becomes an unhealthy obsession and can ruin you and your life in the long-run, like an unhealthy habit or dependency. I don’t want to lose myself and have a job consume me to the level that I forget who I am and what I enjoy about life. I hope to find something soon, and even if I don’t I’d prefer to take on financial hardship than live with emotional abuse. You can recover from lack of money, but abuse can warp your personality and do untold damage permanently.
Very true! You have actually shared the reality and mental state of an employee that he feels when he work in a messy environment. It’s better to leave a bad job and find another where you can work with peace of mind.
I just resigned from my very secure, well paid government job in which I had the ability to work from home, something I thought was really good in the beginning. In fact, I liked the freedom of staying at home so much that I thought I would never leave that particular job.
But like others here have noticed, I also started to get sick from the stress the job was causing me. Not the work itself, but rather the toxic situation I found myself in. I still get angry thinking about it. I was moved into the job against my will, and suddenly found myself working for a manager who appeared really easy going and friendly, but who ended up stabbing me in the back. One of the first things he did was to promote the laziest person on the team to the position of team leader. I can work with anyone and yet this person made me see red every time. Christ, he was lazy and so lacking in empathy for our customers, he could hardly call himself “public servant”. My manager was infatuated with him. I can’t understand how he was sucked in, I honestly can’t. Then when it came my turn to be made senior on a permanent basis, I failed. My manager was on the interview panel and gleefully informed me I didn’t answer a question correctly. I don’t want to go on about all the shitty ways he kept me at a lower grade, suffice to say it did not seem at all fair to me. There was no transparency, rules were made and changed and while others progressed, I stayed at a lower pay. All while working harder than others in the team.
My manager would tell others that I was his ‘star performer’, and he’d tell me he couldn’t spare me to go and do other things. Well, I hope he gets what’s coming to him now that I am gone. I don’t know if he wanted me gone and I don’t care any more. Trying to fight for my position to be regraded took so much out of me, made me so sick. It ended up with me sobbing hysterically in the middle of a field. That’s when I knew I had to go. I had to go because nothing could compensate me for the grief they were causing me.
Also, I really really really hate working with lazy assholes.
As an American, I 100% support Penny’s comment. White people like me aren’t going to turn non-white, and males like me aren’t going to turn into females, at least not involuntarily. But we are all going to get old. The last time I needed to get a new job, I pretty much used up the last of my savings paying for health insurance (basically I was paying what I paid before plus what my employer was paying, and that’s still cheaper than individual health insurance).
I’ve been building up savings again for several years. Unfortunately for me, I have four chronic diseases, all well-managed, but if I lose my job again for more than a month or so I will simply be dead. And my wife, who is well past working age and with her own set of chronic conditions, will be gone too.
This is the future facing all Americans who aren’t wealthy. Be afraid. Be very afraid.