This post is for all the people who signed up to review a chapter of my book “Happy Hour is 9 to 5”.
First of all: Thank you very much for your generosity! I’m so glad you’re willing to help me on this.
I have emailed you guys the entire book as a pdf, and you now have a chance to tell me what you think. There are a few instructions in the feedback file I also emailed you. Please read that, write your feedback and write it as a comment to this post.
Thanks again for doing this, and I’m not at all happy, nervous and totally fracking excited about this. At all :o)
Which chapter did you review?
The body At Work (p. 46)
What do you really like about this chapter?
That it
Which chapter did you review?
How to make yourself happy at work (p. 62)
What do you really like about this chapter?
The chapter was well organized, and seemed to have a clear flow between the different self quizzes and following recommendations. I especially liked the terms given to the different categories of happiness, they are slang, but are great representations of the feelings found in each category. I also really enjoyed the story of Michael near the end and think that it really did a nice job of bringing the concepts in the chapter together.
What could be better? Are there any holes in the contents or the arguments in the chapter? Something I need to focus more on? Some point I should elaborate more on?
I think the self quizzes are great, perhaps a bit more elaboration on the results of the second and third would be beneficial.
Does anything seem redundant? Something I can safely cut out?
Under
Which chapter did you review?
‘How to make yourself happy at work’
What do you really like about this chapter?
No filler, quick and easy to read and not too wordy or just filling in pages to pack out the book.
What could be better? Are there any holes in the contents or the arguments in the chapter? Something I need to focus more on? Some point I should elaborate more on?
Possibly a wacky idea, but when I see a note to ‘stop and write down what you think’ I never have a piece of paper handy. It would be good to have a grid in online version and maybe even a pencil (included in the spine) and a blank piece of paper on those pages that ask you to do this. This might be too expensive and pad out the pages too much, which may not be good in my opinion.
Other than that, a very brief end of chapter summary (four bullet points) to say the steps you need go through.
Does anything seem redundant? Something I can safely cut out?
No, it seems just the right length.
What is your overall impression? Is this chapter just about ready to go into the book?
I think so, obviously nice happy piccies help but the text seems great (bit contagious this enthusiasm).
If you were to write a three-line review of the book based on what you
Which chapter did you review?
> “What does not make people happy (but many think it does)”
What do you really like about this chapter?
> I enjoyed the IKEA story regarding the importance of having a fair wage but that there are also many more values that employees put above on their list of happy values.
> I also really liked the story values behind the job security. I believe it makes a great point to enphasize that “job security” means that meanwhile you do a great job at what you and go about it responsibly, chances are you will have an assured spot.
What could be better? Are there any holes in the contents or the arguments in the chapter? Something I need to focus more on? Some point I should elaborate more on?
> I didn’t like the example of Alfie Kohn’s program since it relates to a different age group than that of the working class.
> I would change this example for a more scientific study maybe based on a published paper.
Does anything seem redundant? Something I can safely cut out?
> The three main points are well plotted out and explained without being redundant.
What is your overall impression? Is this chapter just about ready to go into the book?
> With a few good graphs and a little more hardcore scientific facts its ready to ship!
Do you have any other comments, ideas or feedback?
> Somewhere in the book I’d put lists of the top things that make people happy at work and separate it by industries/positions.
> I think many industries and the backgrounds of the different positions have very different “happy lists”.
Alex congrats on pulling it through!
> What chapter did you review?
What can managers do?
> What did you really like about this chapter?
The opening story was great.
My most important ‘take-away’: You need to be happy yourself first
> What could be better?
The content was great. I put some comments at the end though.
> Does anything seem redundant?
“This chapter is for leaders”, by the time I got here I already knew this. BTW, the last part of the sentence is duplicated a couple of paragraphs down.
You repeat at least 4 times, “you can download this worksheet at ….”. OK, I got the message. I think a ‘global’ statement, maybe at the beginning of the book, would be better.
> Is it ready to go into the book?
I think it is close
> 3 line review.
The most important things managers could learn this year.
or
Learn how to make yourself happy, your employees happy and your customers happy.
> Other comments / feedback
I assume that the book as a whole is intended to be a light read, especially considering the message you are conveying. However I found that this chapter was too long to be an easy, quick read (although I couldn’t list anything specific that could be removed). Once this book is formatted to a standard page size it is likely to be close to 200 pages which is quite long for the above criteria, IMO.
The first sentence: “Finish this sentence”, didn’t sit well with me. It was like you put words in my mouth and then in the next sentence told me that I was wrong. I think the contrast of putting employees first, with putting the customer first is important but I don’t think it should be done this way.
What does ‘Meh!’ mean? Maybe this is an Americanism because I am not familiar with the expression.
“Once your organization is this happy, how will it change?”
This is immediately followed by a fill in chart with no explanation of what it was about. I think a bit of a run-in might have helped (“Try filling in the following chart to find out…”)
In “3. Stick to priorities” there is a sentence “You found that …”. Maybe its because I haven’t read the rest of the book yet but I felt that this was a bit of an assumption. Maybe “earlier you learned” or just start with “It’s a great idea…”. Also I assume “Make a Happy Plan” should have a ‘4’ in front of it.
By the time I finished reading this chapter I was a bit tired of numbered lists. They just seemed to formal for subject of the book (Except the example of the ‘usual plan’ where you want this). I think something more informal would be better, at least use bullets instead, or maybe little smiley-faces :)
> What chapter did you review?
Imagine all the people
> What did you really like about this chapter?
It is a good summary of the whole book.
> What could be better?
I think its great, you could even have stopped the book here?
> Does anything seem redundant?
No
> Is it ready to go into the book?
Yes
> 3 line review.
Learn why Alexander Kjerulf was unhappy at work and what he did to change it.
> Other comments / feedback
In the list giving reasons why businesses benefit from happiness, I think that higher profits should be before stock performance (since the latter depends on the former)
I was thinking that another way to summarise this is : Love yourself, love everyone else.
Which chapter did you review?
The body at work
(I feel this chapter is extremely important as I ran the London marathon this year and was noticeably happier at work during my training. This was because I had more energy and I was forcing myself to get more sleep so that my body could recover from all the running.)
What do you really like about this chapter?
Excellent “hygiene factor” tips.
I
> What chapter did you review?
What is happiness at work?
> What did you really like about this chapter?
I thought the examples fitted in well and the chapter was well balanced with a good leading example and summary.
The point about happiness being an invitation was important one and easy to forget.
> What could be better?
Nothing that stuck out to me.
> Does anything seem redundant?
No
> Is it ready to go into the book?
Yes, I liked it just as it is.
> 3 line review.
Arbejdsgl
I started reviewing the whole book (well, almost all), So I’ll have to change the format of this review. I hope that this “overall” comments are usefull too =P
First… I loved the book, and I’ll just have to re-read the last chapters until I complete the exercises and the whole thing sticks in my head =P
Once that said, I’ll start with the things I would change (have a sit =).
[they only reflect my opinion, ok?]
Will you be adding wild things to the book? stylish or crazy pics (but not kindergarten ones)?
the guy in the first page… I’m not really excited about him
Foosball? German without the beta in hand =P?
Page 12. There’s a comment in your blog about what happens when “happiness” is “overrated”. Wouldn’t his example (and/or the conclusions) fit here or somewhere else?
In the page of teambuildinginc (I followed the link from your page), there’s something excelent that I think shouldn’t be left out: a manager fears to lose power if he gives control to the employees. Instead of wander if they’ll lose power, they can ask theirselves what can they do with their extra time (that process improvement that had to be cancelled, customer relationships, spend more time with the family, etc) and overcome their fear that way =)
“When you say bad jobs kill people” aren’t you creating a motivation “away from” ;P
Many people are conveinced that money is THE motivator. Can you give 1 or 2 more examples that this is not completely true (or not for everyone)?
Page 18. there are two orders of the elephant? (one with nurses and one with cars? ;)
Open books:
Ok, I get the point. Ricardo Semler is your idle, but the 14-year old girl comparision seemed… a little too much =P
It’s not the economy, stupid!:
I have a friend that is conveinced that people only work for money. If, in the future, I lend him the book (I mean, the hard copy I’ll buy ;-), he’ll drop the book if he feels insulted and the whole message will be lost =(
The cult of overwork
without a comma after “work hours”, the next lost its meaning: “This leads to people working longer hours and in extreme cases to what the japanese, the world champions of long work hours call Karoshi – death by overwork.”
Power games:
This small subchapter leaves you feeling bad: there’s no solution =|
The protestant work ethic
Isn’t there a different way to say the same without involving religion? I understand what you tried to say, but there are some people that would stop reading right here… Some people are extra sensitive to these things. It is a good book, and having a bad review or people who drops the book for a small thing like that can’t be good.
Gedankenexperiment:
First… what’s that =P?
Second… the conclusion of this chapter about the 20%, 30% increase is based in mere assumptions of some guys I don’t know… I don’t see the point
(I stopped being picky here)
I know I already said this, but… great book!
Which chapter did you review?
What Managers Can Do
What do you really like about this chapter?
The opening anecdote is great. I like that you start with making the manager realize that he or she must first be happy in order to bring happiness to the team. I thought it really worked well by walking a manager step-by-step through the process of coming up with ways to make the workplace better. I also just liked the fact that you included a chapter with this theme. I had been planning on giving my manager a copy of this book, but was worried that while he might become happy, it wouldn’t do much for the rest of the staff. By explicitly including this chapter, you’ve done my job for me. Thanks!
What could be better? Are there any holes in the contents or the arguments in the chapter? Something I need to focus more on? Some point I should elaborate more on?
I think you should emphasize the part about “You don’t have time not to do it.” That’s such a key point of this chapter. The fact that going through this process will provide multiples of improvement in the working environment. You could even consider giving this section its own subheading.
Connect the idea that a manager needs to accept criticism graciously and act on it to the idea that a manager that does this now has the moral authority to ask the same of his or her staff.
In the “Visualize your happy organization” section, make this into a “Visualize your happy organization in ten days (or ten steps)” to cut the exercise down to a manageable size. It seems like a lot of questions, and each one deserves some consideration time.
Under “Make a happy plan” you wrote “Imagine workplaces that are thriving, vibrant, etc…” You could change this to “Earlier in this chapter, you were asked to imagine your workplace as a place that is thriving, vibrant, etc…” This will help connect the sections for better flow.
After the “5 fast, fun, easy things I will do to create more happiness at work:”, you have some criteria to choose good items for your happy plan. I would put the criteria first, and then give the reader room to make a list.
You have a quote from Sir Richard Branson of Virgin Group. The quote is great, but I think you could elaborate more by giving an example (of the many) fun things that Branson and his employees have done to make the workplace enjoyable.
Could you give some more examples of ways to celebrate happiness at work? Preferably ideas that don’t require much of a budget.
Does anything seem redundant? Something I can safely cut out?
The last two questions in the “Visualize your happy organization” section are pretty much the same thing.
In the same section, you say the person could even switch to a new job. That kind of defeats the purpose of the manager improving things. You don’t want the manager to run out on his or her staff!
What is your overall impression? Is this chapter just about ready to go into the book?
I think this is a good chapter and that it’s just about ready to go in the book (see other feedback). I’m looking forward to seeing it properly formatted and printed!
If you were to write a three-line review of the book based on what you
> What chapter did you review?
What makes people happy at work.
> What did you really like about this chapter?
A good list of points which were both practical and supported by good examples. I think you covered pretty much everything.
> What could be better?
Recognition is a big part of praise, but never explicitly mentioned. Maybe something along the lines of “Praise others because they want recognition just like you” ?
> Does anything seem redundant?
No
> Is it ready to go into the book?
I think its too long to be an easy read in a single session for many people. (Say those who read a chapter before going to bed). It might be better to split it into two chapters.
Otherwise I think it is fine.
> Other comments / feedback
In the Poncho example, it says all you need is a flipchart and marker pens, it then tells you to tear a hole in the middle of the sheet of paper. It took me a while to make the connection that the flipchart was to be used as the source of the paper. Maybe the requirements could read large pieces of paper from a flipchart or old computer printout.
The Seligman/Insurance company example would actually be great for the management chapter.
Under ‘Open Books’, reads “Semco, a small company of 100 employees providing based in”. Something is missing after “providing”.
Which chapter did you review?
I read the whole book! It is enjoyable, amusing, easy-read .. worth of
each while with it. And as I’m travelling ca.1,5h to and from my work
(what somehow dosen’t effect my happiness in either of directions) I
had a great time with this book.
The one I choice for review is “What makes people unhappy at work –
and what to do about it”
What do you really like about this chapter?
Well – the approach, you not only pointed out some of the things that
makes are unhappy but you also give solutions. When in fact I could be
depressed after this read: I’m in a software project for which I’ve no
real qualifications neither experience, my boss don’t like his boss so
there plenty of communication-breakdowns, the company doesn’t plan
people carriers ahead etc… – I am not. You show that is could be
worse ;-)
What could be better? Are there any holes in the contents or the
arguments in the chapter? Something I need to focus more on? Some
point I should elaborate more on?
Well, this chapter could be separate book itself. By that I mean it is
too short. I would love to read about how to avoid other things that
makes you unhappy at work, e.g:
– not only negative people but also “difficult people”
– work environment (you covered this briefly in other place of book),
you know air-conditioning (this year we have ca.35-37C in office that
is upgraded form old warehouse, it was like hell, and the CEO, walks
along saying, “it is only few days in year, there is no reason to
install air/cond” hell,… meybe he was right but over month all of us
was working on their 25% and no one want to even think about next
summer), noise at work and outside it, proper cleaning etc..
– lack of values, like honest, respect, trust, etc – you said a lot
about the relation between company and its employees, you write about
conflicts, power games etc.. But these are the basic and most
important values that have to be there. Please mention it ;-)
For example, I was working for a debt collector (as a developer in IT
department), the team which worked at call-centre and tries to force
the debtors and collect something was a theme for a lot of jokes, by a
coincidence we find out that the IT team was a major topics of their
jokes – I don’t have to say that we needed a lot of beer on the
company picnic ;-)
Right now my company has these values in carrier review spread sheet.
But no one evaluate these, no one respect them, etc.. And it is
crucial to people to be respected, trusted, etc..
Additionally, I would kill for more data, and analyse approach. You
know I’m from CS field, I need numbers, proofs, not only amusing
examples. But I know that this book has “easy-read” style, and I
shouldn’t ask for it, or complain about lack of details ;-)
Does anything seem redundant? Something I can safely cut out?
For me.. no.. I would like to see more exercises, and test to do
self-evaluation.
What is your overall impression? Is this chapter just about ready to
go into the book?
Rather no, please extend it, please ….
If you were to write a three-line review of the book based on what
you’ve read, what would it say?
The “Happy hour is 9 to 5” is a amusing and well told story about how
to become and stay happy at work. It is a must-read for everyone,
bosses, managers and regular staff. The examples, however, not
providing deep analyses gives you overall knowledge about what should
be your next step in the journey to happy workplace.
Do you have any other comments, ideas or feedback?
On your blog, I promise… when the book will be ready – because there
will be second edition, right? :-)
Thanks for great reading!!!
Which chapter did you review?
What can managers do
—
What do you really like about this chapter?
I like all your stories and quotes. They energize me and make me actually feel that I want to do this. This is for me far more valuable than a bunch of prescriptions, do this, do that, don’t do that. Also, I really like your focus towards the end of chapter about making a happy plan and going for the activities that actually keep yourself as a manager happy, rather than opting for the perfect plan (and aiming for the certain failure…). The small suggestions after “Make a Happy plan” are great and inspiring.
—
What could be better? Are there any holes in the contents or the arguments in the chapter? Something I need to focus more on Some point I should elaborate more on?
In my opinion the chapter needs more focus on the real responsibility of the manager – to make it possible for the employees to make themselves happy. By reading only this chapter, I wouldn’t know that you actually believe everybody is responsible for their own happiness (but I cheated – I read the Table of Contents as well :-). I would prefer less ‘tests’ or ‘exercises’ which seem a bit pointless. You might have a point in making me do them, but the point is not clear to me, and I’d rather just skip them. I’d like to know more about how I can prevent my stress from interfering with everybody (anybody) else. How do I set up a system that makes other people feel safe telling me things that they just know I wont like to hear (and I might not yet know that!). I tend to think the things you write about in the last two paragraphs before “Visualize your happy organization” is the most important and the most difficult for managers. And I would really like some support with this. “Do not ” is just one more thing to remember and doesn’t do anything to make me happy. A story about how someone actually did this, even though he or she found it difficult would be inspiring!
—
Does anything seem redundant? Something I can safely cut out?
You can safely drop some of the exercises.
—
Do you have any other comments, ideas or feedback?
I think it is great you have written this book. Let me know if I can be of further assistance in any way.?
> Which chapter did you review?
“How to make yourself happy at work”
> What do you really like about this chapter?
The advice on finding what made you happy in the past at work is good. Good
analysis needs some real data! “know your why” provides some good hints in
looking for causes of happiness
> What could be better? Are there any holes in the contents or the arguments
in the chapter? Something I need to focus more on? Some point I should
elaborate more on?
The “Visualize your work-happiness” exercise seems like it could have too many
right answers. How would one choose one specific answer for that exercise to
set as a goal? As an alternative: how about replacing the visualization
exercise with the contents of the top half of pg 5 (“Imagine all the
people… happy in their jobs”) Finally, I might be more comfortable comparing
current work situation with previous good work situations rather than with
visualized speculative goals.
> Does anything seem redundant? Something I can safely cut out? What is your
overall impression? Is this chapter just about ready to go into the book?
The content is all there, but might need some reorganization.
I suggest the following flow : “Are you Happy Now? Can you Recall When you
were Happy previously? What is different now? Wanna be Happy? (First decide to
be happy!) Set some goals. Know why you are setting those goals. Go do it.”
>If you were to write a three-line review of the book based on what you’ve
read, what would it say?
“In short, everything you need to make yourself and others happy at work.”
> Do you have any other comments, ideas or feedback?
Your book is an awesome read! Here are some misc stuff I noticed while going
through the book.
pg 5. bottom – swap the order of the last two elements in the list. the
following makes a little more sense
– Better stock performance – for all of the above reasons.
– Higher profits – for all of the above reasons.
# Chapter: What is happiness at work?
– “What is happiness?” I recall hearing a podcast of yours on motivation. Do
you think that happiness == feel good response of body to
intrinsic-towards-motivation?
# Chapter: What makes people happy at work?
– How important is Competence? avoid needless frustration, play to your
strengths every now and then… get cheap thrills out of easy successes :)
# Chapter: What does not make people happy(but many think it does)
– You cite money, status, job security. These are actually instances of a more
general schema [conditionally happy] : “I will not be happy unless I have X”
=> almost always, getting X will not really make you happy
# Chapter: What makes people unhappy at work – and what to do about it
## Section: Dealing with a bad manager
0.Make sure your perceptions of the situation are balanced!
[do not make scapegoats out of the wrong bosses]
## Section: Conflicts at work
Can you give some idea of what giraffe language is in the book itself – please
don’t make it a must refer online (defer) item.
## Section: Fear of losing your job
As you point out here, there are many unspoken factors behind ‘The fear of
losing my job makes me unhappy’. Maybe some of these deserve larger font
sizes and perhaps sections of their own – e.g. “Refusing to go along” ?
[Self-Integrity – I see this as a complementary aspect of finding meaning in
one’s work.]
#Chapter: The body[&mind?] at work
– Given the non-work-specific nature of this chapter, I think a discussion of
Seligman’s learned optimism OR mindfulness would not be out of place here.
Alex, please, excuse me, this week has been absolutely hectic (at work), so I have been able just to read 15 pages of the book.
However, I have an advice about pricing for e-copy of the book :)
You can make it whatever price the user can pay. Someone may think that 20 quid is too much for them, but they can easily pay you 10, or 5, or maybe 25. Why eliminate those people from the list?
Which chapter did you review?
“What makes people happy at work”
What do you really like about this chapter?
I really enjoyed the examples of companies who had implemented these ideas and the improvements in both their employees happiness and their business.
What could be better? Are there any holes in the contents or the arguments in the chapter? Something I need to focus more on? Some point I should elaborate more on?
The chapter has lots of great information but seems very choppy. Ideas late in the subchapters seem underdeveloped. The late subchapters are also underdeveloped. It feels like you ran out of things to say as the chapter and subchapters complete.
The chapter also mixes in self help ideas (keep a happiness at work log) with suggestinons that are more useful to managers. You need to determine who your audience is and focus the section on them. Do you want the book to appeal to managers or employees?
The little tiny sections (learn one new thing about a co-worker, try stuff out, be open, say what you think, follow your passion) either need to be futher developed or combined with other subsections. It makes the chapter choppy.
The Pixar U section needs to be combined or eliminated. It’s an example, not a suggestion of how to improve happiness.
Go Green seems a way to contribute rather than a way to increase happiness on its’ own. It really belongs as an example of how to put meaning into the workplace.
The same goes for Make love the foundation of your work. It just seems thrown into the subchapter. It should be combined or eliminated.
The overall chapter would improve with 1. more examples of how these ideas have been successfully implemented 2. fewer and more in depth discussions of these ideas 3. a focus on a specific audience.
Does anything seem redundant? Something I can safely cut out?
See comments above.
What is your overall impression? Is this chapter just about ready to go into the book?
No, I don’t think it’s ready. The information is great, but it needs to be reorganized and focused.
If you were to write a three-line review of the book based on what you
Which chapter did you review?
Who is responsible for happiness at work
What do you really like about this chapter?
It gives a clear message and inspires the reader to take action rather than blaming their unhappiness on others.
What could be better? Are there any holes in the contents or the arguments in the chapter? Something I need to focus more on? Some point I should elaborate more on?
Why do you say “I hate to say it, but the ultimate responsibility for your happiness at work can only lie with you” in the first paragraph? If it’s true, you should want to make people aware of this, which obviously you do, so perhaps the “I hate to say it” part comes across wrongly.
The quote from Peter Koestenbaum and Peter Block might fit better in the first section of this chapter, rather than under the manager’s responsibility section. It’s more relevant to the first section and also balances the length of the sections better.
The line “notice especially that Sarah’s people get more work done now that they work less hours” is slightly misleading. They’re getting more done because they’re doing tasks better suited to them, not simply because they’re working fewer hours.
Perhaps the chapter title should be “You are responsible for happiness at work” to get the point across before the reader even reads the chapter.
Does anything seem redundant? Something I can safely cut out?
The first section of this chapter is slightly repetitive, especially the duplication of ” responsibility for your happiness at work can only lie with you.”
What is your overall impression? Is this chapter just about ready to go into the book?
Yes, especially if the first section is tightened up a bit.
If you were to write a three-line review of the book based on what you
Questions:
Which chapter did you review?
What makes people unhappy at work
Which chapter did you review?
What Can Managers Do
What do you really like about this chapter?
1. Which chapter?
Good for People and Good for Business
2. What do you really like about this chapter?
Which chapter did you review?
What makes people unhappy at work – and what to do about it (page 36)
What do you really like about this chapter?
I really like that it looks at problems at work from many different angles and gives an easy to digest overview on them. Also of course that it has some nice solutions to each. What I especially like is that it also goes into the psychology of why they occur and has some humorous anecdotes to go with it.
What could be better? Are there any holes in the contents or the arguments in the chapter? Something I need to focus more on? Some point I should elaborate more on?
Giraffe language (page 40): it would be nice it it was at least a bit more explained :) I think I know why it’s not there, it would be just nice if there was something more of what it actually is.
Also I think (bad) gossip could have a place in the list there, maybe as part of the Power games topic. It is really bad when working at a place where the most important thing is what you know by overhearing from others (and then telling the right people of course). It is usually also a sign of bad management.
Does anything seem redundant? Something I can safely cut out?
No, I think everything that’s there is in the right place, I wouldn’t really want to get rid of anything.
What is your overall impression? Is this chapter just about ready to go into the book?
Yes, maybe if those things mentioned above went in it would be nice, but I think it’s already very very good looking :)
If you were to write a three-line review of the book based on what you
Which chapter did you review?
What can managers do (pg 67)
What do you really like about this chapter?
I like the plan. It seems like something I could actually do.
What could be better? Are there any holes in the contents or the arguments in the chapter? Something I need to focus more on? Some point I should elaborate more on?
The one thing I didn
Which chapter did you review?
Thank you SO much for all this wonderful, constructive feedback!
I’m currently going through all of it and updating the book accordingly!
Thank you again, I’m very, very happy with this!
This is much too late – so whether it is useful I don’t know:
Which chapter did you review?
I read the whole book end to end
What do you really like about this chapter?
It is informal and to the point. It is filled with stories which make your points very powerful and the book fun to read.
The subject burning hot and I believe that what has maybe been lurking under the surface with small software developers etc is now contaminating and spreading to corporations too….
What could be better? Are there any holes in the contents or the arguments in the chapter? Something I need to focus more on? Some point I should elaborate more on?
Most of your chapters have bullet points to point out in a simple way what happiness at work will do for you. With a creative mind as yours it is possible to present this in a more varied and appetizing way. Since I read it on my Palm I have no idea whether you are using graphics to illustrate these things but in stead if bullet points, consider:
– Sheep wearing t-shirts with each a bullet point
– Geometrical shapes with compartents for each bullet point
– whatever.
Does anything seem redundant? Something I can safely cut out?
No.
What is your overall impression? Is this chapter just about ready to go into the book?
My overall impression is that this kicks butt and as such is ready to fly.
I am not a native English speaking American, which makes me worry a little about your informal English. I think I know the tone you want to strike – but have you checked with native English speaking North Americans (which is the language you seem closest to) if they believe you strike the tone you want?