https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VARXw5NoalY
I’ve been pretty unhappy in my job for quite a while now. The workplace is fairly stressed, I feel completely unappreciated and I can’t really see the purpose of most of the work I do.
I want to get out of there but whenever I discuss the idea of quitting with my friends and family, I get the same reactions: “Are you sure that’s the right thing to do? Surely your job can’t be that bad. Maybe things will get better.”
My parents were worried how I would provide for my family and basically called me selfish for not just sticking with it. One friend even warned me “quitting will look bad on your CV.”
Quitting a job you don’t like is a tough call and it’s made tougher by some very persistent myths. These myths create a social stigma around quitting – which is silly because quitting is perfectly natural. In fact, 10-15% of us do it every year.
These myths keep us stuck in bad jobs and give bad leaders and toxic workplaces much more power over us than they would otherwise have. Let’s change that. Here are the Top 5 Myths About Quitting.
Myth #5: Quitting = failure
- “Don’t be a quitter.”
- “No one likes a quitter.”
- “Winners never quit and quitters never win.”
Do any of these sound familiar? According to traditional thinking, once you’ve started something you should never quit and if you do it’s a clear sign of failure.
I say that’s completely wrong and sometimes quitting is exactly the right thing to do. I’m reminded of the story of Danish opera soprano Tina Kiberg.
As a child, Tina was a pretty good violinist and spent her free time practicing and practicing. One day she participated in a violin contest and realized that she would never be more than a mediocre violinist and that she also enjoyed singing more. She quit the violin, took up singing and became a leading international opera singer.
If she had seen quitting as always the wrong thing to do, she might have been stuck with the violin.
Also, try to guess what these somewhat successful people have in common: Larry Page, Sergey Brin, Tiger Woods, Reese Witherspoon, John McEnroe and John Steinbeck?
Yep, they all dropped out of Stanford.
Truth #5: Sometimes quitting is the way to success in something else and staying = failure.
Myth #4: Quitting is the easy way out
You quit your job? Well, I guess you don’t have what it takes to succeed. Too bad you couldn’t hack it and chose the easy way out.
Some people see quitting as a sign of weakness. I say that’s nonsense. In fact, the easy thing to do is to just keep mindlessly going into that job you hate day after day, year after year. It may be horrible, but you know what you have and you avoid the uncertainty of making big life-changing decisions.
Quitting on the other hand takes guts. In fact, quitting a workplace that is toxic or getting away from a boss who’s a complete jerk can be a downright heroic act.
Truth #4: Quitting can be a courageous (or even heroic) act.
Myth #3: Quitting is selfish
How can you be so selfish and quit your job? You’re letting down the workplace, your customers and your coworkers. Also, think of your family – how are they going to manage if you quit?
Wrong.
If you don’t like your job, you’re doing no one a favor by staying. When you’re unhappy at work, it tends to affect everyone around you through a phenomenon called emotional contagion and there’s a good chance you’re making your coworkers and possibly even customers less happy.
As for your family, maybe they would be happier if you didn’t come home from work every day tired and frustrated. You might even set an example for your kids. A member of the audience asked me this at one of my speeches last year:
If you go into work day after day, year after year, and really hate your job and come home stressed and angry – what are you teaching your kids?
Truth #3: Quitting is not inherently selfish.
Myth #2: Quitting is risky for your career
If you quit your job it’s going to look bad on your CV and your career will take a hit.
Yes – and staying for years in a job you hate and that is slowly wearing you down is going to be AWESOME for your career.
This myth completely ignores the career risks of staying in a job you hate. In fact, the longer you stay, the more you lose the energy, motivation and self-confidence you need to advance your career.
Truth #2: Sometimes quitting is the best thing you can do for your career.
Myth #1: Quitting is a last resort
Sure you can consider quitting, but you should exhaust all other options first. You only quit when everything else has failed.
For people who believe this myth, quitting is the very last option. It’s what you do once you’re too broken and exhausted to possibly stay on at your current job.
That makes this potentially the most dangerous of the myths listed here, because it means people stay in bad jobs until (or past) their breaking points.
Truth #1: Quit when it’s the right thing to do – not when it’s the only option left.
The upshot
Whenever a friend tells me they’ve quit their job my instant reaction is always “Awesome! You made a tough career decision. You took initiative and decided to move away from a bad job or into something even better.”
I say we start celebrating those who quit their jobs for the brave, motivated and proactive individuals they are.
Your take
Did I miss any myths about quitting? Have you encountered any of these in your work life? How do you react when someone close to you talks about possibly quitting their jobs?
I completely agree! I tend to be extremely stubborn and I’ve hung on to a couple of jobs for much longer than I should have. I knew I needed out almost right away, yet I continued to beat my head against those two walls, hoping that the wall would quit first.
Hi Mr. Alexander, Wow. This is the best article I have ever read about quitting a job. The examples you give are also highly relevant. Very enlightening! I believe that you really have rich experience in career development. As far as I remember, I thought about all these myths when resigning from my first job. Back then, I managed to quit since I knew that had I stayed with the work I didn’t fit, I would have made my family even unhappier in the long run – as it would be hard for me to succeed in achieving better income if I had no enthusiasm toward the work.
That reason solely overcomes myth#3, so I wish I had known those other myths to make the transition more effortless in terms of mindset change. Now, I am running a social enterprise with the purpose of educating as many people as possible about global citizenship via the internet. I pray for your increasingly successful future in expert trainings that certainly will help a broad range of workforce and businessmen trying to discover their way to happiness. Great to know this website and you!
I am so happy you said that out loud! I also was in that position – having a horrible job that I quit without having anyfurther perspective. Of course friends and family said some of the things you mentioned or told me to just “suck it up”. Anyway, I just quit since it didn’t make sense to me to go to a job that I hated – and for that I even earned some respect from friends, colleagues and even my old boss. I admit, it was a hard time when I didn’t have a job. But now, a year later, I managed to stand on my feet, being self employed and do what I love for a living. Sometimes you just have to stand up – it’ll pay out in the end!
Great article! I think quitting your job has been frowned upon for a very long time and this article just proves all those myths wrong! Sometimes quitting your job is just standing up for yourself and this needs to be praised, not frowned upon.
Thank you for this article. I have taken a job that I knew was a horrible fit for over a year and my favorite sentence was the “emotional contagion” one. Yes, my close friends and business associates have asked me more than once if there is anything wrong as my personality has changed to them. I did not even notice it! I am looking very hard, but being selective and was determined to not leave until I had another job. I will be taking steps to leave starting today – look at finances, etc. Thank you again.
I just found your website/blog and am loving it. Thanks for this article Alexander! Myth/Truth #1 hit home with me, and I think many folks will spend way too much energy and time trying to make a bad job work. I felt the same way until I had the experience of quitting a job and then feeling like a new person – so now I encourage people to quit if they are thinking about it. Could you compile a list of stories from folks who are glad they quit? I think it could be a powerful example for those on the fence between staying (in misery) or quitting. Thanks again!
I just want to say thanks so much. My job has been really conflicting with my college studies, not to mention I hate being there. This article really gave me the confidence I need to go for it – especially #2! Thank you.
Hey thank you so much…your article gave me a ray of hope..i was dicey on my decision and the same myths were on my path to quit my job which i had just started…i have been unhappy since the day i have joined , the workplace never let me grow nor respected me.. n demeaned me..so i just didn’t want to take it ahead n remain unhappy in the initial stages of my career life..this really helped
Great essay. I am quitting my job today. Now I am reading this – and I know I am doing the right thing.
Thanks for this article. I like #2 nd 1. I too thinking of quiting my job.
Had a panic attack at work and came across this article. The truth is I’ve wanted to leave for a long time. I realize now I’m staying only because of other people’s expectations of me. I asked myself if I would do this job if they paid me $1m a year. Nope. What about $1bn a year. Nope. Then why am I still doing it for far less than that? To please people who watch and judge with their own twisted standard of success from afar?
No more living life for others.
I have printed my papers. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this post! I have felt so guilty about quitting even though it was the best decision for me! My health was taking a turn for the worse from the stress of going to work every day with my co-workers. This has given me peace that others have felt the same way. Thanks again for writing!
I work in the legal field and last two bosses have been insane. Tomorrow plan to broker a deal with office manager. I need out. Dec. Bad month to look. I start looking, I interview, they interview and it works? I cover nightmare of end of year pressure, they have time to find someone who fits. Everyone tells me I’m crazy. Worked once before.
What the heck, who would actually believe any of these myths? Quitting your job makes you a failure? You’d have to be insane to think that.
I was unhappy where i was working for two years i waited for right moment to quit. My company was relocating to another city that was my opportunity to run for the hills. I turn in my voluntary 2 week notice without any fault from me. When everyone was told i resigned co workers who never talk to me since i started working there congratulated me praised me. I really earn lots of Respect for doing something many wont do.
Great article, and the kind of pep talk I needed. I’m an English teacher in China. Long story short I got got the short end of the stick when I was placed at where I am. I’m miserable, I hate the town where I live and the school where I work proved too much of a challenge for someone who is just starting out in this profession. This whole place has a negative impact on my emotional health, which leads to negative impact on my performance and motivation. I decided to quit and return to Europe, where I can get back on my feet and start over. The reason your article helped so much is because I feel guilty about leaving, especially about leaving my students, whom I feel will be letting down. I also thought that I am taking the easy way out, that I am escaping my responsibility, but I need to put myself above all else. Everyone deserves to be happy, and where I am right now is making me otherwise. So to all my fellow “quitters” out there. If you’re unhappy, quit, and ignore those who would judge you.
Thank you for this piece. I started a job early December and almost instantly knew it was not for me. Every week at least once there was a staff meeting in which management would belittle and undermine their “subordinates”, including me of course. Actually on my very first day I witnessed this and was horrified. Not only was management an issue but the actual work itself clashed with a number of professional values I hold. Something in my gut just told me to quit and so I did. I just walked out and left yesterday, after a month of chaos and feeling like I had made the worst decision ever. I honestly couldn’t be any happier!
I made the decision to put myself first before any job. A few months prior, I had been in an internship where I was micro-managed and scolded for minor things. I would not allow myself to go through the same experience again because I know the damage that the internship caused me after 9 months of “sucking it up”.
Luckily I have healed and learned because I left this job with my head held high and with no regrets. I sent them an email stating that I resigned that day and that is all they get from me. As nice and ideal as the money may have been, my sanity is worth much more in the long run.
Sincerely,
Worth the sacrifice
Great article and couldn’t agree more. I just quit my job after years of being unhappy in the role, hardest thing I ever did because I felt like I couldn’t leave because but bit by bit my performance was suffering (and those around me )and now people think I’m nuts for quitting – why?! I want a different job! I’m not insane.
I dream of getting a 5 month leave of absence and hiking the Pacidic Crest Trail from Mexico to Canada. Love my job but have a verbally abusive boss. Went to higher up and he was better for awhile. last thing he said to me was “I don’t see how you can be in your life” over something very petty. Financially it is smart to hang on for 2 more years. Not sure I can. I am lucky to be in a profession where jobs are plentiful. Just scared to let go and move on.
I have been on the same situation for over 6 months. From the first week working on this job I knew it wasn’t for me. But the benefits were good and I needed the money. I took two weeks of vacation this month to see if I was too stressed and maybe would want to go back to work when my vacation was over. I really don’t.. The thought of going back is making me wake up in the middle of the night, stressed and anxious because There is nothing that makes me want go back. I don’t like what I do, I really dislike the people I work with, a lot of verbal abuse there. My self confidence is really low. The funny thing is on all
my past jobs and school I never had performance issues and I was always praised for my work. On this job it doesn’t matter what I do, my boss and coworkers always complain. i never hear a “thank you great job…”Even when I go out of my way to do what it takes to get the job well done. I know it’s time to quit. But I always fear that my next job will be even worse.
But if you CONTINUE quitting ‘crappy jobs,’ maybe you don’t know what you want. Set a GOAL. Know what you want and what makes you happy. And, you can’t control supervisors or coworkers. So if you’re quitting because they’re awful, YOU need to learn to deal with them assertively.
You can’t change others; you can only change your REACTION to them.
There is no guarantee your next job or the people will be any better. The only way to truly control your destiny is work for yourself.
I finally gave my notice today after sticking it out for three years in what I consider to be the worst job of a 20+ year career. I knew the job was a bad fit from the first hour I started and my worst fears were realized in time that I worked for an employer with a revolving door, toxic employees and unfocused, thankless “leadership” completely out of touch with reality. A black hole would accurately describe the job–and one that stressed me out to the point of ruining sleep, weekends and vacations because I dreaded the thought of stepping foot in the God awful place again. The choice to leave came after the better part of three fruitless years searching for another full-time job of comparable pay. I just hit a point one day where I said “enough, I just can’t do this to myself anymore” and made the decision (after a few weeks of planning) to make my freelance work my full-time job. I feel nervous, but at the same time very much at peace with the decision. You only get one life.
Wow!!! Thank you so much for publishing this.
It’s 12:45am and I should be asleep… Instead I’m Googling for a positive opinion on what I should now do after quitting my job due to being so unbelievably unhappy.
I quit my job in June 2015 after sticking with it for seven years. The job was a bad fit. A double edged sword of a steep learning curve and soul destroying environment. However, I stuck with it and have learnt so much about myself (Good and Bad). I have also learnt that it is MY reaction to the workplace dynamics, the banter and toxic boss that counts. And it’s also my life… No one else’s. It’s what works for me.
There were so many soul destroying days, panic attacks, good days, great days, toxic days and in some ways I let my boss and colleagues run rings around me.
So I had to change my attitude.
So much so, I ate the work and spat it out…. I changed so much that my colleagues and boss couldn’t manipulate me any longer. It was amazing.
Unfortunately my colleagues / boss didn’t like this change in me. They knew what buttons to press and they pressed them.
I had to leave. My health was failing … I was a wreck. I quit after being off sick for two months.
I am so grateful that I have learnt to grow as a person in that seven years. Perhaps I should have left sooner…. Perhaps not.
The point is that it was essential to me, to my sanity, my health, my self respect that I left when I needed to leave. It was my decision to leave when I did because it was down to me to deal with the consequences.
The whole experience has actually given me so much self worth… I won’t let any job or any colleague / boss treat me like that again.
I’d rather live with less money than be as unhappy in a job again.
I’m looking at working for myself or taking part time work…. But making my hobbies just as important as my job. Because life is too short … But so bloody long when you in a job that eats away at your soul.
So I am eternally grateful to find your post, because I was having a moment of doubt there.
Not any more !!!!
Being happy is very important. I just quit a job after they had told me they wanted me to continue working while my boyfriend was sent to the ER. At that moment I knew they were super greedy and spiteful and I told them I quit and went to the ER. They are garbage humans. That is just cold and disrespectful of your employee. I decided then and there that I am never again working for such horrible bosses. For my next job I will really interview them and try and figure them out since I know what to look for. But really you don’t know how someone is until you work with them. Happiness and family is so much more important than any job is.
After reading this article I feel more comfortable quitting my job. I been there for almost 3 years and there’s no way going up. So my focus now is try to pay off all my debts and save for emergency funds. Once I do that I’m ready to put my 2 weeks notice.
I quit my job in late winter after three years of working in a thankless, high volume, high stress, toxic, bureaucratic, back stabbing, caste system environment. The absolute misery of the job manifested itself in so many ways–weight gain, sleepless nights dreading the inevitable alarm clock, stomach issues and a lot of good times with family and friends overshadowed by that lousy job.
During the course of my employment in the Pit of Despair, I sought out other jobs–many of which I determined after the interview to have the potential to be as bad or worse. I was determined not to follow one bad job with another, so I held on and took my time looking for the right one…
One day, after weeks of built-up, toxic office drama, I decided that I could not afford to hold out for the right job. I had to go out on my own. The decision was fraught with concern about finances, but after crunching numbers, determining sacrifices and figuring out how to navigate the situation with my family, the path forward became clear and I haven’t looked back or thought I made a mistake in leaving.
For whomever is reading this, I am sure you have landed here late at night stressing about your crappy situation. Been there, done that myself. Just remember, you only get one life and your job is half of it, so anything less than a fulfilling–or at least tolerable–experience is simply unacceptable and can even hurt your career. The next move is yours. Wishing you the best.
Wow! Those words! I just quit the job I hate the most! I even hate that environment! It sucks and crushed my soul! I’m proud of my self about taking this decision, about taking a decison which makes me happy and free! These words are heaven!
Thank you! Thank you! These myths our society perpetuates are part of the reason we have some of the highest incidence of anxiety and depression.
I had a client cruelly manipulate me this week. I have been a nervous wreck, so I quit. I’m missing out on a lot of money, and it will be tough financially, but I can’t allow someone to crush me into a slave.
This is just what I needed to hear!
I finally quit my day job to become a full time jewelry designer and to thrive on and grow my own business instead of helping that greedy company grow theirs. I have almost been to the point of just screaming and breaking down at work due lack of human respect and kindness from clients and such, my job was so demanding that I found myself working about 30-45 extra minutes past my clock out time just to help my coworkers cause I “felt bad” about leaving my coworkers swamped with work. No more people – pleasing for me in that way, no more bending over backwards or jumping at the sound of unreasonable client requests,done. I have 3 more weeks left and although I do have some planning to do, I feel excited and that happy/anxious/nervous feeling you get after you’ve done something for you and maybe something that you were scared to do. I was worried and nervous for months trying to keep going in to help make sales goals and be a great customer service rep and to try and hold out until the right job came into fruition. Ha boy was I wrong, I can’t imagine working for anyone else but myself at this point, just quitting alone has made my self esteem soar to the sky whereas before I just felt low,unimportant and invisible. Thank you for writing this piece and for sharing it with everyone, I wished I had done this sooner like 2 years ago with my previous job before this but whatever, it feels good now this way. If you really can’t stand your day job, it doesn’t fit with your morals, goals and personality and you don’t get treated very well by your coworkers or customers then you should leave, walk out and do something better with your time and energy than give it to the soul sucking place you call your job, you are worth so much more people, get out while you still have your sanity intact!
I just came across this, and I must say thank you. I know now exactly what I need to do. I have just this life to live and my happiness is more important.
When I was younger I hung on to a dead end job at Big Blue for much longer than I should have. Sometimes hoping a job will soon move to better things never materializes. Sometimes one just has to step out and move on. Peace.
Yes freedom. I just quit a job where the management was terrible, and they kept sending in a new manager to take over (and none of them actually qualified) – although working with the same trolls who bullied never got better and the current boss just utilized their fear of him to rally against me attempting to bully me (collectively) into submission. NO THANK YOU — What I have learned is that sometimes, quitting just NEEDS to happen so that the people that lean on you learn to do the job themselves and this is good for them.. These people now are faced with having to do the work that I did for a long time — and I am no longer propping up the insanity and dysfunction of the entire group. Freedom has a happy energy to it.
Thank you for this article. I started a new job last summer while my husband was home on disability. I knew in my gut it was the wrong fit, but it offered more money and benefits. Ten weeks into this job my husband died of brain cancer. I took 2 months off to try and start the healing process, then returned in January. I wanted to make it work, it was one of the last decisions I made with my husband. The stress of trying to manage a team of 20, be a single mom and try a heal was just too much. I finally said enough this week and want to just focus on my son and finding something part time that will provide some peace and logistically be a better fit. Very liberating to make this decision.
Thank you for posting this! I recently relocated a year after graduating college without having a job lined up in my new city, and I was so down on myself for not having a job (coming from working 50+ hours a week) so I took the first job offer I could get. The job paid extremely well, but was extremely monotonous and the drive was absolutely horrible. My boss and coworkers were great, but the job itself was dreadful and I did not fully prepare myself for that. At first I THOUGHT I was happy with the job since I was good at it, but after a few weeks into it I realized my optimism of having a job that paid so well was making the reality of it. I quit my job and I’m not looking back. Now I know that pay isn’t everything, as my well-being and happiness doesn’t come with a price. So to everyone else here on this blog, I believe these things have happened to us so we can learn what we want and what’s really important in our lives.
I totally agree with you Alexander.
Me myself is suffering from my job since about 6 years now.
My biggest problem us that is the job am working since i am graduated 13 yrs ago, with Zero experience in any other career/field, and today I have a 4 kids family, so thats why it is extremely hard to me.
This morning I decided ti QUIT, just to quit it and face my life and challenges, and then I found your brilliant article which motivated, supported and inspired me that I am thinking the right way.
Thanks again :)
This is awesome and just what I need it to read. I gave my 2 week notice and I am going elsewhere for the same type of work. I do enjoy what I do just didn’t like the people
I worked with. I made sure to have another a job before quitting the one that has sucked me dry but has put closer to God than I’ve ever been. I literally had to pray right as I entered the place for a good day and thank God as I left, for the great day. LOL I am happy I did it. I am hopeful and praying that better is to come.
Just resigned today 10/10/16. Felling very relaxed
I’vet just read your article lying in bed. I’m about to quit a really toxic job tomorrow. I was lured by this person to leave my previous job and go work for his small business. It’s only been 3 months but they’ve been a living hell. After day 2 I knew something was wrong but I kept going out of stubbornness and disbelief that I had put myself and my family in this situation.
I’ve been through the entire spectrum of emotions, from anger to shame to despair. I don’t have enough words to explain how difficult of a choice it is to quit a job without having another one lined up.
I’m scared about being able to provide for my family. But the thing is I’ve been miserable and it has been getting worse. Today I was on the verge of completely snapping when I finally decided that life is way to short to have to live in such conditions.
Thank you for writing this, it makes me feel less awful about my decision and helped bolster my resolve that I have made the right choice.
Thanks again!
Thabk you so much for this. It’s life saving.
I finished my 2weeks resignation and feel great! Plan was to wait until I got an official offer, but signs pointed to resignation after 1) being reassigned temporary to work directly with my boss for special projects. She gives me lists of work w/no direction lol, but doesn’t micromanage me or bully which helps me finish everything fast. 2) I started grad school this fall. 3) I needed to think about my happiness and goals. My current job is what many healthcare professionals may dream of and would be impossible for most since I was somewhat of a new grad. Pros: The company is prestigious, job stability, lucrative benefits package, easy vacay/sick requests, etc..BUT wasn’t happy. Cons: Extremely toxic work environment. Coworkers and other departments- hate and gossip so much to ruin people, micromanage daily, and bully continuously no matter how strong you are. The boss increased our workload by 60% and soon that increase will be who knows how much lol… they recently decided to add another whole department as our role lol. Many of the departments are not efficient and rely on our medical expertise/consult/troubleshoot. Just thinking about work gives me: anxiety, stress, stomach probs, & headaches. Since working directly w/my boss she has told me numerous times how bright, smart, fast (than most people), efficient and effective I am in all the work she gives me. She trusts me to do the work and I complete it way beyond her expectations lol. She actually told me she noticed she noticed how happy I am lately not being w/my coworkers. Yesterday she complimented me on how impressed her bosses were with the well written and fast I completion of the tough project I completed (I did it in less 1hr right when it was assigned, most employees do it after days or a week lol). I am self-motivated, an active problem solver, and very resourceful so every task wasn’t hard to learn..(AND, I was left for the wolves when I first started lol). She continued by saying her boss said she wishes there were more employees like me. I think in some ways she has regrets since realizing I’m a high performer employee, but its too late and she had too much pride to directly say it. I remember when I first started, she said all employees are replaceable but the staff are starting to realize maybe not so lol. I am scared to be unemployed, but fortunately I have money saved. I’m just going to focus on school and apply for positions that I like. This place as mentioned in the post was taking a toll on my confidence and my work performance..I owe this change to myself.
I’ve been with the same job 13 years. It’s had is really good times in the past in 2004 to 2007 from 2008 to now it’s been a big battle company gets bought out then your pay gets cut but do the same work for little I’m a manager and took a big pay cut but stayed because of school and I was young. but now I hate my job another buy out and very negative people working there. a very busy place to under staffed and it all falls on me but I’m not the store manager others don’t seem to take responsibility for themselves and I get so stressed out trying to run the front of the store but have to help run the pharmacy it’s overwhelming . I told my boos I want to demote myself to a photo tec. He said he will think about it also I will be making more if Im a photo tec not a manager it’s ass backwards but hey. Make more and not be the one ever thing falls on nice. But now here we are a month later and still no word on me stepping down. anyway I’m going to quit soon just need a sold game plan thank you for this article it’s helped me out alot
Your website is amazing and helped me deal with a job I hated. I left…..hurrah!!!
And I didn’t have a job to go to, but my sanity and health is worth more than any job. I am excited and scared but this is the next positive step in my journey. You have certainly inspired me to help others like myself who feel trapped.!!
wow, after reading all these comments I can’t believe how hard I am on myself. I am turning 55 in December, and I am agonizing over whether I should finally quit my job that I have grown to hate!?? I’ve been working 16 years at my current job, 40-50 hours a week, high stress, everything is a deadline, stuck in a cubicle all week, working on a computer all day on very tedious and detailed tasks (I work with editors and writers to finalize large technical docs), and then I often get to bring my laptop home to continue working til 10:00 pm or midnight to make sure we get the deadline out! I am getting too old for this shit. I can’t do it anymore. I’m giving my notice next week. I”m going to take some time off and then I’m going to work some temp jobs for awhile or off and on for another 5 years, but no more all day cube jobs, working on a computer all day. All I can advise anyone who is still young and hates your job…..don’t settle. I should have quit 10 years ago and found something more enjoyable, but I stayed for the money. You don’t want to make your life financially miserable, but money doesn’t make you happy. Plan. Save enough to allow you to quit and take some time off to figure out what you want to do. Work at temp jobs to find one that you enjoy. My job the last 5 years started to feel like a life sentence, the last 2 have been almost unbearable. So I finally made the decision to quit this year. 55 is my golden ticket out! Life goes by fast, don’t waste it spending valuable time on a job you hate! Find something else!!
Nice one. I am going through the same problem. I have joined this company and its been just 6 days including sunday. My boss acts like he’s an angel but he’s always looking at my chest while talking . Sends me really awkward messages. He sends me msgs like “i feel lonely without you.” “You havr become my weakness “. Moreover there is no other lady working in that company.
I wanna quit my job but my family wants me to suck it up. I don’t feel comfortable there. So i have decided what so ever may happen. I am not going to work with that creep anymore.
I just saw your article and tge comments and I thought wow ! It wasnt just me then! I am in a work am not happy in, it stresses me but my husband keeps on saying be patient on one is happy in their jobs but in the morni g going to work I feel knots in my stomach , I have been having stomach cramps. I wanted to leave brlefore christmas then I thought its fine just carry on . But I am suppose to start back yomorrow and I really dont want to go back. So I am going to hand in my notice at the end of the week , if I have the courage. When I told my manager I wanted to leave before christmas she said if I left she wouldnt give me a reference. And she started shouting at me. I am scared of telling her , how she is going to react.
I am currently working in purchasing department in an oil and gas industry and believe me it is extremely toxic and stressful. The workload is like nightmare.. ive always felt like a working robot Not as a human. I am currently exhausted, hypertensive, having sleep problem, almost always in a bad mood at work. My work is ruining my life, socially, emotionally, physicall and mentally.. no increment even for nearly 3 years. At the moment as i am still stuck cause i cant exit the company yet as i have financial obligations back home. 28 years of age male and my work triggered my hypertension. Please help me! What should i do? I want to quit so badly but i cannot yet .
Tyrowe, hang in there. I am 28 as well and miserable due to a toxic environment. I have some prospects for new jobs but want to quit immediately. My husband is telling me to hold on but not sure how much longer I can do so. My health is on the decline and my anxiety was so high I decided to start seeing a therapist. See how you could survive without that job financially. Can you do something on the side to help with money until something better comes along?
Hi guys, I am a 32yr old health care professional that resigned from a quite prestigious organization and title at the end of last year. I started grad school and was reevaluating my life last year and I came to a realization that I could no longer work in a toxic environment that made me unhappy, stressed, and caused health problems (back pain, stomache issues, weight gain, etc). It was affecting my quality of life and I didnt’t want to waste anymore years there. Honestly, I should of done it earlier but I wanted to have a substantial savings and stayed to add to my resume and experience. I still do not regret leaving! I lost weight, no back pain, and I am happier. It’s the stigma and gossip from family and friends that hurt especially it was a topic during the recent past holidays. They couldn’t understand how someone very successful would leave their job to pursue grad school and not continue to work/balance both. People would say I quit because this and that, it was insane and had me depressed for a bit after. I tried my best at my old job, my boss had no ethics and my direct team were literally all best friends who got each other hired! Imagine the gossip, snide remarks, endless problems lol..they were oddly unprofessional. Staff and including my direct team realized how vital of a resource I was after the fact and my boss vented it prior to my last days lol. Do whats best for you. We only have one life. I get calls and offers for different jobs often, but I left for a reason. The reason being, I want to find a place where I see myself living and a place I see myself working and GROWING. I wont settle for the very long commute of my last job and taking any job that comes my way. I hope this helps for those contemplating their toxic situation. Not every job will make you 100% satisfied, and people will tell you work is work..but if its that bad for you, its not worth that much unhappiness..they’re not in your shoes. I work in health care and my job can be fast paced and high stress! Lol
I just turned 36. Been in the IT industry for more than 15 years. Joined this IT outsourcing company about 3 years ago. I “earn”ed a lot of money but realized after nearly 3 years of fighting that I had enough. I had raised my concerns several times regarding work load, no equipment to work with, micro management, customer always right attitude, abuse of my vehicle and the list goes on with no results. I unfortunatly had spinal surgery which used up more than a months sick leave. During this time I worked remotely and even had a” friend” / co-worker drive me to clients with a neck brace on and not even being cleared for duty by my neurosurgeon. I was paid for that time just to be black mailed everytime my son got sick after the surgery and needed time off from work. The work load also got to a point where its unacceptable as I have to support the client of 3 engineers. In total I provide support to 16 clients on their whole IT infrustructure. Just 1 of my clients has 3000 employees. The worts is some days I drive 200+km and visit 9 clients a day. Thats about 4hours driving excluding the work I still have to provide onsite. Last week my 2 year old got very ill and rushed him to the Doctor after he could not breathe. I notified my boss that I would not be in for duty but would provide support remotely. On the second day I let my boss know im not going to be in due to my son, just to be told that I took leave the previous day for my sons illness. My son has bronchitis, tonsillitis, middle ear infection in both ears and kroop. How does something like this heal in 1 day? So eventually had enough and resigned without another job. “When its time for me to walk away from something, I walk away from it. My mind, my body, my conscience, tell me enough is enough”. My God will provide. HE might be very slow but never too late.
The best article i have ever read through out my life.. Reading this article Being in a thought of quitting my unsatisfied job, its really an eye opening article to me. My mind is oscillating between quitting and staying, now this article made my brain to stick towards quitting the job which seems to be best option for me. There are people who always made me to think about the financial imbalance, though its a fact, now i came to know nothing is important than our life. Its good and great to quit the job which is not giving satisfaction at all.
Thanks a tone to your brain which made you to pen down this article.
I have to say after reading this I feel a whole lot better about quiting my job today.
Wow,
Reading this really made my day. I started a job I was initially on the fence to accept, but I took it knowing the risks of being unhappy. I now know this job is not for me and I’ve put myself down for feeling like a failure for wanting to quit after three weeks. I just can’t stand the micromanaging one of the assistant managers does to me. I understand they have a job, but when you walk into a building and get completely anxious and depressed before your shift starts, you’re in for an awful time. Everyone should know quitting does not equal failure. Focus on your happiness and your mental health or you’ll loose both at a job you don’t like.
This is a interesting article about quitting. Most will say quitting on your boring, stressed job is selfish, quitting means failure etc. But this article destroys these myths. In my opinion is the workplaces is boring, and you are underappreciated quitting is the beat option. Thanks for the great article. Keep these coming. Cheers.
What if your job has a lot of perks? yearly tickets, almost 2 months off, excellent package, school tuition for the children, etc… But you’re not happy. it’s a tough call. Happiness versus all of these perks. There are 2 many things to give up.
I was in a job out of loyalty first and later to learn new technology and then a few years later for fear of the unknown. I finally decided to change all that. I am going to quit my job next week.
This has been a “pot of gold” at the end of a rainbow article. I have been struggling in a toxic job that I have had for 7 years. After a buy-out 8 months ago, the new corporation that took over allowed all employees to stay, however the new corporate stance was toxic. If there was a problem the manager or supervisor was always right, never the employee, no matter how much they were in the wrong. Employees were not allowed to even eat or take a break while they worked unless they were under 16 years old. If a person was struggling because of low blood sugar they were still not allowed to eat unless they had a doctors note. One girl fainted on a shift and another time I almost dropped because it was either work or get fired for eating. And I mean even eating a piece of bread. (By the way, this is a company in the USA, not some sweat-shop in India). So, I worked around this for quite some time as well as other staff by eating in the bathroom or sneaking outside. All the while, managers and supervisors could smoke 15 times a shift, eat when they want, drink on the job and police themselves. They could do no wrong, they made their own rules and would trump you each time you had a problem by making it “Your” fault. The Director of Operations even pulled people aside and told them flat out that ” If you have a problem, then there is the door”. This went for any problem. The last straw for me was coming to work and being told once again that the entire staff could not take breaks and that the result of eating no matter what would result in termination. This finally sent me over the edge and after two hours I walked into the General managers office and told them that I was ending my employment. She looked up at me, said nothing , turned to the supervisor to re-adjust the workload and went back to her desk without skipping a beat. This is a General manager that after a year and a half on the job had lost close to 35 people due to her incompetence, and the new company did not care. We were just a commodity and nothing more. It has been just over a week since I finally quit and it was the best decision I could have ever made. No amount of money$$$ at that point could keep me from leaving, even though it was the most I had ever made per year in my life. My values did not even remotely align with this company and now I am able to thrive, grow, look forward to new beginnings, become mentally and physically more healthy and not want my life to end anymore. The money will come, but money does not buy satisfaction and peace of mind. Sure it’s scary as hell at times, but I know that I can make it and will modify my life to make it work. I cant say that I should have done this sooner, but I will tell you that quitting was the only way for me to get out of this toxic environment that was killing me, and I mean literally killing me slowly. Each person has their own breaking point and own time that is right for them to throw in the towel, so all I can say is that for me, standing on the edge of quitting is way, way scarier than after you take the leap. Once you take the leap you are free and you finally understand, as you may have forgotten, that YOU are in control of your destiny. Not them, NOT ANYONE. Forward- Onward and Upward. Thrive, Grow, Progress and don’t let ANYONE hold you back from progress and growth. You and I have only ONE life on this flying rock hurtling thru space and that is it. DO NOT PUT MONEY $$$ AS THE PINNICLE OF LIFE. IF YOU DO IT MAY LIKELY DESTROY YOU. It almost destroyed me.
I’m back once more because I believe this article and advice is so spot on. There are so many stigmas about quitting a job that are purely FALSE. The biggest falsehood of all is that you must have a job before you quit your current job. That may be advice to consider, but for many, the only way to grow and progress and be the person you NEED to be for finding and locating your next career/job/adventure in life is to get out of your current job and have time to recalibrate. When your stuck in a toxic, abusive and hostile work environment you can not see the forest through the trees. It’s like telling someone in a bad marriage that they better find a new soul-mate before they divorce. It’s a ridiculous and preposterous request and demand. If I had not gotten to the breaking point where on April 5th 2019 I decided to call it “done” at the toxic job I stayed in for 7 years, I would not be on the path to growth and progress that I am right NOW. Sometimes you have to QUIT to move FORWARD. And for me quitting my job was the best decision I could have ever made. There are times that you MUST walk away to Grow, Thrive, Move Forward and LIVE!!
I have been with the company for over 6 years and loved the job. I have noticed that I have lost my patience, feeling sickly, and feel frustrated at work very often. I have even begun to resent my coworkers recently for various reasons. These past few months we have been experiencing a lot of employees quitting or being fired, which means everyone else has to pick up the slack. The issue was that we never seemed to hire people to replace them and just kept adding more tasks for other people. I rarely got time to do my job because they were getting a 3rd party company to do it for me while I helped out everyone else. I realized that I had become replaced and that I was nothing more than an extra at work. I lost my top with a higher-up manager today and realized that it was never going to be the same again. I walked out today with bitter memories and some guilt but confident that I would be fine.
-Thank you
I quit my job yesterday & already feel like a new woman,today my stiff neck & headaches have gone I feel totally liberated,then I came across this post which made me feel even better,Thankyou,I have another job to start but one of them are from this employer. I got the job on interview but subject to references & other checks. I still feel on top of the world knowing I QUIT first job Ive ever quit.
Thanks again for your great positivity.
Hi, thanks for a really great article. I’m in New Zealand and I just quit my job I have been inly for 5 weeks. I knew in about 1 week in, it was a bad workplace with mostly toxic staff. I was working in retail in sales in a high end shop. I first found out I was the 3rd and last choice candidate of that group out of 30 applicants. Apparently its a hard job to get as you have to pass the criminal,credit and reference check to get it. The week I started a lady left,but lucky she gave me a heads up on what tbe place was like. Sadly the shop was managed by 3 toxic bullying managers who are passive aggressive and snappy at new recruits. I quit just after my 5th week,2 weeks ago now,I hated it there in the end. The place is a cesspit of nasty toxic people starting with the management. They were shocked I just quit and 1 manager told me they were losing such a good person which was nice and doing well. I told her I just couldn’t do it any more or be there any longer in tbe toxic atmosphere. I found out lots of staff have left that shop. It’s a large company spanning many years,but the higher management don’t care and do whatever to make their own lives better without having to fire staff even if they are toxic. I met another person I know who had worked in retail that advised me retail is a hard,underpaid,soul destroying crappy job anyway. That I should just leave straight away when a job isn’t working,and not waste any more of my time on it. No matter how mad the employer gets when you quit. Best advice ever. My bad luck was this was the second toxic workplace I had been at in about a year. I quit the last one too after 7 months and a nasty old boss there too. But no regrets at all on both decisions. We have took after our health and well being first before any job. There are always plenty of jobs out there. Its not our fault we don’t know we might be walking into a bad new work situation,it shouldn’t be bad or we would stay!. Walking out is your power to control your own destiny. Thanks for the article and advice, I really enjoyed reading the other comments.
Quitting is fine. I have left a job with nothing to walk into on at least one previous occassion, due to severe work overload, under resource and under payment. After 2 years the job was nothing like the terms and role in the original job application and what the interview process had led me to believe.
Best thing I ever did.
When I came out the other end, I eventually found another job and the world catch fire while I was out of work.
I do recommend you feather your exit with cash before you go however to deal with living expenses.
This article is so fine and true to my current situation.
I got so unappreciated in a dead-end job, to the point that I decided to quit, no excuses for me anymore. And I got thinking to myself how ironic is to ask for a reference letter to the person that I helped to get promoted, build and support a sales market for more than 5 years… while the person got promoted and I am still invisible!
If the corporate environment is tough, try it being a woman, Latina, and middle age!
I recently quit a job I’ve been at for 2 years and 9 months, and I was thinking of just bearing it and giving my 2 weeks notice, but due to how much I hated my job and how much dread I’ve recently had when waking up each morning, I bit the bullet and just quit. I just searched to see if quitting would affect future employment, re-found this article, and I now have a bit more confidence and hope for my new job-hunt knowing it’s just a myth.
Thankfully I stayed long enough to build up a decent amount of savings and can still get a decent tax return in Febuary, so even if it takes some time to find a new job, I feel much safer than I did 2 years ago!
I needed this like air today. My daughter, a college grad, double major, (journalism/ political science) took a job as a technical writer at a pharma company. As hard as she tried, she was constantly made to feel ” lazy, stupid, and worthless”…she is neither, She would get orders from up to 3 different people, all different instructions. In fact, 1 of them told her she was to work from home today, and another said she was to come in.
The job was hard enough for her, as she also suffers from ADHD, panic attacks, and she is bi-polar. Her self esteem was already suffering. When you go through school and you are the only minority in a school full of racists, BAD things can happen.
She is now forced to either quit, or end up a basket case.
I told her health was the most important thing, and not to beat herself up over it. I told her it says nothing about her motivation or her intelligence . Writing for a newspaper is far different than tech writing for a pharma company.
Thank you for putting this out there, It was just what I needed today.