Find Your Quitting Point
Check out this comment from a reader in Hong Kong:
I’ve been visiting your site on and off for quite a while now.
I’ve been miserable at work and, although it took me almost a year, I eventually built up the courage, and I’ve finally quit my job!!
I think it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made!
I’m now working out my one-month notification period…then hopefully go on a vacation to Europe with my family…then travel to Beijing to visit my love….
And most of all, I’ve found a new job too! No one knows how it’ll go, but a change is definitely due and I’m looking forward to a fresh start.
Your site has definitely pushed me on.
:) One happy Office Lady in Hong Kong
First of all: Wooo-hooooo! Good for you, Office Lady, and good luck in the new job!
This of course raises an interesting question: How do you know it’s time to quit a bad job?
Should you quit at the first sign of trouble? As in “The cafeteria doesn’t have Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee and besides the boss gave me a funny look at the last staff meeting – I’m outta here!”
Or do you only quit when all hope is gone. “Yes, I know my boss is a total jerk, my salary is lousy and my co-workers just covered my cubicle in mayonnaise-smeared saran wrap for the third time this week. But you never know – things might get better tomorrow!”
When is it time to quit? It’s a question I keep getting – and no wonder. Leaving a job has become one of life’s biggest decisions. It’s something that may affect every aspect of your life including your finances, your work life, your identity, your family and possibly even your social status and friendships.
I’ve quit three different jobs in my career and in every single case my only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner. In two of those cases I quit without having the next job lined up – it was simply time for me to move on NOW!
It seems most of us tend to stay in bad jobs waaaaay too long. I have talked to any number of people who have told me some variation of “I quit my job last year and my only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.” However, not a single person has ever told me that “I quit my job last year and it was a huge mistake. I should definitely have stayed on.”
This does not mean that it’s always the right decision to quit, but it does show that when in doubt, most of us stay on in bad jobs. Perhaps longer than is good for us.
We’ve been told that quitting your job is bad because:
- It makes you look less dependable to your next employer.
- It costs you money.
- It reduces your status.
- Quitting means giving up – and that’s bad. You should stay and slog it out.
And this may all be true or not, but here’s a question you must also ask yourself: What will staying in a bad job cost you? Because make no mistake: A bad work situation can cost you your energy, motivation, self-worth and even your health. Worst case, it can kill you.
Worst of all, staying in a bad job where you repeatedly feel demeaned or useless robs you of precisely those things you need to move on and find a new job. To actually get up and go out and find new work or finding the courage to quit without having the next job lined up takes energy, motivation, passion and confidence.
How do you know..?
Which brings us back to the original question: How do you know?
First of all: You will never know for sure. It’s not like you can calculate the exact optimal moment to quit your job. It will always be a judgment call, and like any other major decision in life, it’s not so much about making the right decision – it’s more about making a decision and then making it the right decision.
Secondly: You probably do know. Call it intuition, gut feeling, inner wisdom – if it’s time to quit, then somewhere inside of you a voice is probably going “I hate my job. It’s time to quit.” The trick is to listen to that voice.
That voice is often very quiet and very easy to quell. You’re maybe at work, in the middle of a meeting or an important task when suddenly you get the feeling that you really, really need to find a new job. That’s certainly not productive in the moment – right then you need to focus on whatever it is you’re doing. Also, as mentioned above, having to quit is a scary proposition. So you ignore that feeling and focus on work.
I firmly believe that you’re doing no one a favor by staying if you’re not happy at work. Not yourself, not your family and certainly not the company. The rare exception is the case where your or your families survival or fundamental welfare is at stake. If quitting a bad job means your family becomes homeless, the choice is clear – you stay until you have a better job lined up.
Barring this, it’s simple: If your job does not make you happy you should first try to fix it. If there’s no realistic hope that you ever will, it’s time to get out of Dodge.
The upshot
So here are my top six tips for finding your quitting point:
- Give up the idea that you can know for sure whether or not it’s time to quit. It’s always going to be a leap.
- Listen to your intuition. Your gut may know before your mind.
- Remember what quitting can cost you – but also remember what staying in a bad job can cost you!
- Remember that the longer you stay in a bad job, the harder it gets to leave.
- Most people stay too long in bad jobs – mostly because they fear the uncertainty that comes with quitting.
- Most people, once they’ve quit, find that their situation improves. Maybe not immediately, but certainly after a few months.
What about you? Have you tried quitting a job? What was your quitting point? What happened – did you end up regretting it or being happy that you finally quit? Write a comment – I’d really like to know!
Related:
random daily news | Steven Vogel Said,
June 6, 2007 @ 8:45 am
[...] hate your job? [...]
Rednose Said,
June 6, 2007 @ 2:09 pm
HI THERE!! Hope You’re having a great day!
I almost wrote to you about this a day or so ago, your post has come along at just the right moment. I once stayed in a job WAAAYYY too long. I won’t go into the details, but when I sat my boss down and told him each of the ways in which he’d done me wrong, he started to cry… And then I still didn’t leave. (Because I was Promised More – Something to add to your post possibly is if it’s bad, it probably won’t get better so BEWARE of “Promises”)
I now have a job that starts at 8am and finishes at 2pm, leaving me the rest of the day for FUN! – When a person leaves their job they should not go for a job that they’re merely good at, they should find a job that they enjoy and WANT to do.
My Partener however has just got a new manager at her place of work and he’s left loads to be desired.
1. Messed up the meeting between him and the staff, arranging it poorly so that only 3 people were able to be there. Then threatened those 3 members of staff saying he would sack them if they messed up his career.
2. 1st day of work: intimidated 4 regular customers so that they walked out refusing to return.
3. 2nd day. Informed members of staff that someone would have to quit because they were over staffed (After cutting down everyones hours)
Result – HIS WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED!! On the 3rd day the entire team started searching for new employment.
Work should be fun and a joy to go to. If it isn’t you’ve got to make the changes neccessary to improve it or YOU WILL REGRET IT!!
Dan Said,
June 6, 2007 @ 2:30 pm
Not sure if you know this, but Bloglines reads your images as if they were “stolen”. I had to come here to figure out what was wrong, and since the image on this page looks fine, I’m guessing the RSS feed sends out the other image?
The feed I’m getting is http://positivesharing.com/feed/
Elaine Said,
June 6, 2007 @ 4:31 pm
My recommendation for finding out whether it’s time: start keeping a journal. I did that at my last job, for tangentially related reasons, and looking back after a few weeks realized that I needed to start looking for something new. Which I did, and now I’m at a new job where I am much happier!
Deb Said,
June 6, 2007 @ 11:29 pm
I left a job last summer that although I enjoyed the work, the main project had finished and the management had mucked me about so much,, ( lots of carrots, ooh this will happen and this etc but it didn’t) the money wasn’t brilliant and I had learnt a lot but felt it was time to move on.
Got another job, full time so a bit more money but further away, much futher.
I hate the new job, just hate it, there is not enough action nor contact with people or IT both of which i Love. Yes, it is in a team situation and that would give me experience that I lack but I just hate it, and sit at my desk trying not to cry. I don’t regret leaving the other job so you are right in one way but just now I am stuck as I just cannot see what sort of job I would like best or even find one. I got offered another job recently- I have lots of experience and good qualifications – but I just didn’t want to do it as I was scared that I would hate it as much as the current one. Just how you find a job that you Will be happy in, really is not as easy as you make out. I can’t quit for money reasons. perhaps sometimes sometimes you do have to stay and stick it out. perhaps wanting perfection and complete happiness is too high an ideal?
daen Said,
June 7, 2007 @ 2:32 am
I handed in my notice on Friday. I’ve been with the company for four years now, and stayed because I enjoy the work, which is challenging, although there is far too much of it and only one me. Most of the people are really nice, and the environment is OK. The only problem has been my boss and the CEO. The company, a small biotech startup, got a new CEO around the time I joined, and I naively assumed that he was doing a good job. His ideas, plans and methods apparently ran somewhat contrary to the founders’, and, in spite of the fact that the new CEO was appointed by the board, the founders managed to get him ousted. Both the CEO and I are English (it’s a Danish company), so we used to chat together – I wouldn’t say we were friends, but I certainly didn’t dislike him. This marked me out to the founders as someone who couldn’t be trusted to be involved with their plans, in spite of which one of them (my boss) used to constantly drop hints about what was going to happen and continually pointed out what a terrible human being the CEO was. Having only been with the company for three months, it was something of a shock to see all these knives being waved around with the CEO’s name written on them, metaphorically speaking. It made me very uncomfortable to be party to what basically amounted to an internal coup, so I let the CEO know that plans were afoot, but he didn’t take heed and was let go from the company. Unfortunately, and ironically, because of my attempt to appeal to what I saw was the broader cause of trying to be loyal to the guy running the company I was never hence regarded as being trustworthy by the current CEO or my boss (co-founders of the company). In retrospect, I don’t know if I would have behaved any differently – it certainly hasn’t been my experience of most of the other small companies I have worked in that the political infighting has reached such dangerous proportions, and my need to trust and be trusted, and for others to do the same, is not pathological, I believe. Perhaps if I’d have known at the time that it would lead to three years of gradual erosion of status within the company and corresponding reduction in my self-esteem and a bunch of health issues and the failure of my long-term relationship, then no, perhaps I would not have gotten involved.
Anyway, I’m leaving, and I’m happy about it, and wish I’d done it sooner.
Chris Sims Said,
June 7, 2007 @ 4:05 am
Excellent post. I just told my readers to stop reading my blog and come over here. Really.
Katrine Dahl Said,
June 7, 2007 @ 8:48 am
When in doubt, pretend (for want of a better word). That’s what I do.
I set a time period, three days, say, where I pretend that I’ve made the decision to leave my job (/apply for the new position/go back to school/change direction entirely/this is a multi-use tool). I don’t ponder the decision anymore. Instead I pretend that it’s done and dusted. During that time, I simply pay attention to how it feels. And also, but secondarily, to what new options and potential limitations that seem to arise from this, so far imaginary, decision. Then I switch and imagine status quo continuing for the following three days.
Mostly, after that short week, I have singled out the gut feeling. I know which decision is the best one for me. I also, as an added bonus, have come up with at least one, and usually loads of ideas for new exciting and challenging roads either decision could take me down because I’ve taken the time to think about it seriously. And I know the two or three good reasons for decisions I should definitely NOT make.
Sometimes, the first thought that springs to mind, is not the best. Sometimes it is. But these things require a little time and effort. The trick is to go about it in an organized way once you’ve realized that simply entertaining the idea of change on and off does not lead to the heureka-moment that you were hoping for.
Good luck, everyone! And remember, some decisions are bad and some are good. If you get one wrong, which we all do all the time, don’t let it stop you from making a new one.
Katrine Dahl Said,
June 7, 2007 @ 9:03 am
Ah. I think it is “eureka” in English. But “heureka” in Danish. Interesting.
Alexander Said,
June 7, 2007 @ 12:35 pm
rednose: Please tell your partner he has my deepest sympathies – that does not sound like a good situation to be in. And congratulations on taking action and creating happiness at work for yourself!
Elaine: A journal is a great idea. May I ask how you did it in practice – In a notebook or on a PC? Daily or weekly? Writing during the day or when you got home? What was it like?
deb: Thanks for your story. I certainly didn’t mean to make it sound like every singe person who ever quit their jobs went on to become happy. Sometimes the next job is bad too.
But your story also illustrates one point I forgot to make: That being in a bad job tends to erode your belief that the next job COULD be better – which makes you more likely to stay.
I advice you to ask yourself what staying in this job is costing you…
daen: Oh man! First of all: Congratulations on moving on! Secondly, it sounds to me like you did the right thing by bringing what was obviously going on out into the open. It sucks to be punished for that!
Chris: Glad you liked it :o)
Katrine: What a great idea. Pretending you’ve already made the decision gives you a risk-free way to try it on. Kinda like test-driving a new car :o)
Elaine Said,
June 7, 2007 @ 3:23 pm
I used a Vox account, and wrote occasionally during the day and also after work. Two things about that were useful: one, it was private, and two, I had some friends who were reading it regularly who could see what was going on and let me know what they thought.
It was a hard experience for me, because that job started out as my dream job, and I was very happy there for a long time. It wasn’t until I started writing down my day-to-day experience, in that semi-public space, that I realized that the environment had deteriorated and that I was seriously overworked. I needed to let go of the identity that I’d adopted (that I was in my dream job) and evaluate the situation exactly as it was.
Office lady Said,
June 8, 2007 @ 6:49 am
What was my quitting point?
I’d probably been talking about quitting my job for almost a year…to friends, family, etc. Probably as long as I’ve visited this site!
But as much as I was trying to stick to my job, I found that overtime, the stress of it was just getting to be too much. I also keep a journal and looking back, a whole lot of the entries is about how much I hate my job.
And the stress was manifesting itself physically already, I can feel my heart rate go up whenever I have to do that thing I’ve always dreaded doing, I shake, I feel sick.
But still I was trying to slog it out. Mainly because of the fear of the unknown. Will I be able to find another job? How long will I be jobless for? How will this look on my resume? etc etc.
Then one day, I was sitting in on a meeting, listening to this rep. from another company do a presentaion. This person does the exact same thing as I do, only with more experience and is in a more senior position than I am. I looked at her, and I thought, “In 2 years time, I will be doing the exact same thing she is doing now. AND I DON’T WANT TO DO THAT!”
And that was it, that was my decision to quit.
But of course it took another long while for me to actually hand in my letter. I had a ton of excuses….the boss is having a bad day…I should wait until this project is over..etc etc. And eventually, all my family and friends just gave up on me and mocked that I’ll never quit.
And that was that, so I handed in my letter.
So yes, I think a way to figure out whether you want to stay at your job is to look at one of your seniors. Do you want to do what he/she is doing in a few years time? Can you see yourself doing it? Can you see yourself doing what you are doing now until then? And by all means, listen to your family and friends, without them pushing, I might still be here!
But of course, this is coming from someone who can afford to quit her job without having another one lined up first. I consider myself lucky to have found a job right after. This is my last week here at this job. I’m starting my new one on July 3 and I’ll be on vacation for 2 weeks! :)
Good luck everyone.
Dan Said,
June 10, 2007 @ 1:08 am
how funny, i just put in my two weeks notice yesterday and then I came across this. My take was that despite several of us warning the execs that some decisions were going to cause problems they refused to listen instead replying with “you don’t know anything about business.”
Zip forward a few months and everything is going downhill with layoffs and a dim future. Even though I was told the my job was safe I’m the IT guy) I couldn’t take a chance.. Funny thing is they asked for three weeks rather than two so I told them okay. I don’t want to screw them over out of spite but it’s just time to move on.
Tom Said,
June 10, 2007 @ 3:24 pm
This is an interesting post, Alexander. I’ve been following your blog for a while now, but never really felt I had to post a reply. However, I’d like to have your opinion on the following situation that I am in (perhaps it is some food for a new blog?). I graduated this January with my bachelor degree in IT (specialization: Software Engineering).
All great and well, but there’s a catch; I started losing interest in the IT industry during the final year of my education. There were too many “educated” people (you know those types: stubborn, snobbish and narrow-minded) that started to drain my energy. This drove my interest in self-development (mentally and spiritually) to new heights. Ever since that period I’ve been reading books, using methods, watching video’s, etc. to gain more knowledge.
During my graduation period (which involves working at a company and completing a project there) I got some interest back in the IT industry and I decided to stay working at the same company after I graduated in January 2007.
However, I’m now at a point where I want to switch careers. We recently had a big project launch, and of course, some things went wrong. That’s normal. But my boss tried to do everything to make it his project; to get the project under his control. He doesn’t have the knowledge for that in the first place, but the second thing that started bothering me was his approach to work.
He is very chaotic and cannot focus on one thing at a time. This really started to annoy me since he was working in the same room as I was.
Then he started spamming us with mails and phone calls during the day, evening, night and yes, even in the weekends — when in fact there was nothing going wrong, only his perception was off. Eventually I just shut my phone off completely in the weekend, because this was getting out of hand.
I can see this happening again at future projects. In fact, I can assure you that it will, and I’m not willing to pay that kind of price. The problem is, though, that I am currently their lead programmer; they don’t have anyone else with my qualifications. And they want to get some other projects on the move. But I really want to get out, and do something I’ve always loved to do: coaching. So what would you advise me to do if I wanted leave this current job and start my own company/started coaching people for a company?
Thanks in advance and keep up the great blog!
Tom :)
Esteban Said,
June 12, 2007 @ 2:42 am
I am older and have had several jobs. I had a job that I hated, I finally quit and the outcome was good. No, not in the short term but it lead me to a great job.
Robin Said,
June 16, 2007 @ 8:01 am
I discovered this blog when I was working as a supervisor in an unhappy 911 center. I was trying to be the best supervisor I could be but the environment was miserable.
I tried to bring some happiness to work, but it was a lost cause. I started getting migraine headaches and feeling physically sick whenever I pulled into the parking lot, I was so stressed out.
I live in a small town where good jobs are few and far between, but eventually I knew I had to listen to myself and quit. It was hard to do for all kinds of wrong reasons (where would money come from? what would my boss think? how would they live without me?), but I did it anyway.
And guess what? I don’t know why I waited so long.
Peggy McKee Said,
July 2, 2007 @ 5:19 pm
I loved the graph. I hope you don’t mind, I put it on my blog. I would just advise your readers to try their best to find their new job before quitting. As a recruiter, I can tell you that I am always concerned that the candidate was fired if they quit without another job. Most of us have bills and responsibilities that stop us from wanting to be without the biweekly check. Thanks for the great post.
Jack Tatum Said,
August 3, 2007 @ 5:12 am
I fell on http://www.inbadcompanies.com and found the site entertaining since so many people are experiencing the same things I am at my corporate job. In Bad Companies.com really seems to bring the community together. Remember the job aint that bad it just seems sometimes the people are the problem.
CLS Said,
August 6, 2007 @ 6:39 am
I’ve hit my quitting point at my place of employment as well. It is in the technology field and it is just an underpaid job for the expertise required to do it. It is extremely boring. The boss is disconnected from everything. The people I work with are the types that have never heard of a happy hour or know what it is to have fun. They all are geeks and nerds that like to write code on their computers all day long and then go home and do the same thing! Dorks! Although somewhat underpaid, even though the pay isn’t all that low, I still absolutely dread going into work every day and basically walk around all day wishing to get the hell out of that place. It’s just basically a matter of figuring out what new careerfield I want to go into that I can leverage my degree. Can’t wait to get the hell out of that place and leave the rest of the geeks and nerds behind that do nothing but bang the keys on their computer keyboards all day long non-stop and stay late for free. They do $2 of work for $1 basically. So if you feel the way I do in your job…..get a new one!! http://www.IAmSoOverMe.com
Knowing When to Quit Your Job - Identifying the Point of No Return : Slow Down Fast Today! Said,
August 21, 2007 @ 4:49 am
[...] Chief Happiness Officer Alexander Kjerulf has designed the following chart to illustrate what he terms as the “quitting point”: [...]
Val Said,
November 19, 2007 @ 11:30 pm
A few days after quitting my job, an academic postdoc at a well known laboratory, I found this site. It’s so validating. I didn’t have anohter job lined up before hitting my “quit point”. But after one year on that job, I knew I had to leave. I dreaded going to that job everyday. Many people told me that one should NEVER quit before finding a new job. I looked for a new position while I was employeed. It was so difficult to juggle the current job and family with the seach and interviews. I felt incredibly guilty too for taking the pay check and not being remotely committed to the job. So I left. Within 7 weeks of leaving the position, I found a new one. The new position is so much better, on multiple different levels. I left academia for industry. You just have to have the courage and know what you want. Focus on what you want in life, and fix or leave behind the things you don’t; inclulding a job that no longer fits. Good Luck to everyone.
SeanG Said,
December 3, 2007 @ 7:56 pm
Hi everyone,
I recently went through this struggle — and all of the stuff in this post is definitely true! And I’m happy that this post was here: it made me feel better.
Anyway, so while I wasn’t “sure” when the right time to quit was, I did know these things:
- I tend to stay in things until it’s patently obvious that it’s bad. This leads me to believe that I was waiting until I could feel relatively risk-free about quitting (I feel this was an important observation!).
- My work didn’t really need what I wanted to offer; what they needed was someone who did a little of what I did, and a little of what another person did.
- I didn’t feel that I was contributing fundamentally to the organization I was part of; I felt that if I didn’t show up anymore, it wouldn’t be a huge deal.
- A lot of the things I had created or was responsible for were being phased out in favor of store-bought solutions.
- There was no future for me in that job. My position was what it was, and it was tending downward, and with no chance for advancement.
I think listening to your gut is wise advice.
I hope my comments have helped! I also recommend a book called “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!” There’s a chapter in there called “How to make a no-lose decision” that I think speaks to this struggle.
Take care!
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Jessie Said,
April 3, 2008 @ 7:17 am
I quit my job due to a HORRIBLE boss making drunken personal attacks on me. This was after over a year of putting up with his blatant hypocrisy. I found a better job with more pay and better people . . . but somehow I missed my old job. Perhaps it was the uncertainty of a new place, perhaps it was the fact that it was a bit further away and less flexible with my time so . . . I went back.
Cop out, I know.
I missed the actual job itself . . . the customers and the job itself are good. I only have one co-worker who is my best friend and we always have a good time . . . it’s just our boss who is an abolsute wank.
I know eventually I’ll have to leave . . . I think I’m using this job as a place to hide, I’m not quite ready to leave yet.
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Karen W Said,
May 10, 2008 @ 8:29 am
I have just quit a job I did not like just now! I was there for only 2 months and I don’t have anything lined up yet. It was causing me stress and me to be distant from my husband. I had sour stomachs prior to coming to work and those stomach knots. That went on the WHOLE TIME and I even had a gut feeling before I even started the new job.
On a happier note, I am into career counseling to take tests to figure out where my fit is. I have art classes lined up to bring back my old passion and I may take up temporary gigs for the time being. Take a simpler job so I can put my energy into my art work.
Sugaface5 Said,
June 2, 2008 @ 5:15 pm
I am at a job that is ok, but there is something that I found that I like more. I’ve been here for about 6 months. I got hired as an admin asst. and was given the opportunity to assist another dept. I liked what I did for the other dept more and they LOVED my work. A position came up in that dept. and I applied. I almost had it, but my boss is very territorial and when I told her that I wanted to go for the position, she told me to go for it. But later on got upset with me for applying, because she felt that I was leaving her in a bad situation.
She had to have said something to the Supervisor in the other dept, because then I met with her and she tells me that the ‘ood news’ is that I will still be able to assist her dept but because of budget issues and the hiring freeze, I would not be allowed to transfer depts. I was devistated and feel that my boss sabotaged my opportunity.
So now everyday, I look at her (my Boss) I don’t trust. She is overly nice now & that’s scary. She has a tendancy to be very snippy. Most of my work time is spent assisting the other dept.
My job is boring and unfullfilling so now, I’m here working for someone I don’t trust. I’m in search of that job that I love and don’t mind the issues that come along with it (b/c I love it so much)
Heather Said,
June 26, 2008 @ 4:06 pm
I left my old job the pay was crap and I was getting upset over the way my supervisor treated my coworker.I would come home complaining to my husband about it.She always tried to drag me into bashing my co worker so I would try to steer clear of her.She was nice to me which made it a weird situation for me.I felt terrible like I should of beat the women down for my coworker or something.They also paid me less then a guy that started after me and we did the same work.When I asked for the same pay as him,oh we cant do that,the union will not allow it,ya right whatever.Plus every time I tried to contact someone in the main office about a raise in pay they ran and hid away.Anyways the supervisor would bad mouth him all night long.He even came to me telling me how it hurt his feelings,I mean this was a 40ish year old man coming to me,a young women telling me how hurt he was because of this mistreatment.He said our supervisor is treating him no better then a dog.I seen it she was real short with him and the gestures she made left no room for doubt about the way she felt about my co worker.I mentioned that I would talk to our supervisor but he insisted that I do not,that he would do it if the supervisor kept on treating him like that.The job I had before that was also terrible,I had worked for this company a few times before.Well this time when I went back to work after having my baby I felt that it would be a good work environment.Until I found out how fake my boss was.My supervisor did nothing but manipulate me,the manager of my shift sat in the office most the day while I prepared and did most of the work while she chatted away on her cell.The manager relayed false messages to my supervisor about me and my other co worker(can we say brown noser).I tried to move around in the company and tried to be polite about why I was seeking another position in the company.If you mention mistreatment it is like the plague.There is no confidentiality and what you say gets passed on to the person and 10 plus others.So it makes it 10 times harder on you to work the job you already have problems with working.I knew of an old colleague of mine she went to the office heads about how she was being mistreated.Well it just happened to be told to our supervisor,because the person she told in confidentiality at the head office was friends with our boss, and our supervisor passed it along to some other staff and well she struggled a bit more for awhile at work after that.I felt like I was in a relationship with the boss he got so offended if I went to someone else about a problem no matter how minor it was,I would have to tell him well I never see you so I pass my concerns on to the next in charge.I had to keep up on emails,phone calls,and communication letters with him it was annoying.I remember him calling me cussing at me because I missed a meeting at 10am.I didn’t get off work until 8:30 am and fell asleep.I apologized but it wasn’t enough for him.Needless to say I left that job I gave a 2 weeks notice called and left after one week instead.He gave me a horrible evaluation but I expected it.The way he treated me,already told me not to expect pretty little nice words for me haha.I also wrote the CEO a nice evaluation of my time spent working for him,I have yet to hear anything back.I am glad I left I just miss the pay.I am very outspoken I guess,when I spoke my mind to my boss I do not think he appreciated it,I remember his eyes bulging out.Sorry for the long story but I tried to shorten it for you all.If the job is making you doubt your abilities and causing problems in your life it is time to get out quick.Things will come together for you and you will find another job hopefully it will be a keeper.Take care
Jdocih’s Weblog Said,
July 18, 2008 @ 7:54 am
[...] WordPress.com WordPress.org July 18, 2008, 1:54 pm Filed under: Uncategorized Find Your Quitting Point Check out this comment from a reader in Hong Kong: I’ve been visiting your site on and off for [...]
Andrew Said,
July 23, 2008 @ 6:20 pm
I’ve been in my new job for three months… in fact today is my first day off probation. I now have superior benefits to add to the superior pay, superior manager and superior working conditions to my last job.
I first decided I needed to get out of my job a year ago after a personal near-tragedy followed by a horrible comment by my manager. Prior to my accident I was feeling less and less happy about my work and my manager. After the accident I returned to work following several weeks of medical leave. My manager asked me to come into his office and asked me how I was doing. After a while he said something that took me into a spin. I don’t remember the exact words, but they amounted to “leave your problems at home, and focus on your work while you’re here”. I left that afternoon and contemplated quitting then and there. But doing so would be a financial mistake, so I saw my doctor, and he put me back on stress leave for a “recurrence of symptoms”. Saved by the doc. :)
I tried looking for a job during my weeks off, but nothing panned out. After I went back to work, I held on for a bit longer. I became too busy helping my wife plan our wedding, enjoy our honeymoon, and then basement crack repair work, then setting up a workshop. When I had time to look for a new job again, it was February, and in addition to having a terrible boss, I was also very bored due to a lack of work.
I found my new job last April, started on April 23. I don’t have regrets on the time between actively searching. If I had found a job last summer, would I be in the sort of company that’s making me as happy as I am now? I don’t know. All I can say is I’m intensely happy about my job, partly because I have the best manager I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with. Karma led me to wait this long, so I can get the job that would be best for me. I wouldn’t have gotten this job if I hadn’t waited. I feel I made the right decisions at the right time.
Top five tips to beat the post-vacation blues Said,
July 31, 2008 @ 11:19 am
[...] Find your quitting point [...]
Jewel Said,
September 21, 2008 @ 1:22 pm
I’ve struggling to leave ever since I joined the company two and a half year ago, because my boss simply tricked me in by treating, so basically it was a bad company with a worst boss. However, I didn’t want to leave before I could may some change and achievements, so I stayed and worked hard (not as hard as I would have if I loved the company) and finally I was noticed and rewarded after 8 months hard working, my boss started to trust me and listen to me, and then she was fired, all of sudden. I was shocked but secretly felt lucky to have her out, especially when I heard that the new boss is quite an expert, she’s tough and determinded, maybe she would change the company, however, she failed within 5 months and was kicked out also. Then the real jerk came in, and he moved me from HR head to Business head, simply because he believe I’m too good to be an HR, it didn’t matter I like it or not, that what he want me to do and that was my only choice. I stayed again for combined reasons, such as I would move to another country within a year, it didn’t make sense to leave and find another job now; and he denied the raise that the previous boss promised three months ago unless I take the job, which is not a small sum, thirdly I have stock options that would due in a year. So I stayed, and struggled ever since in a field that I’d never liked or interested, realizing the boss is complete a selfish jerk that is destroying the whole company, he basically makes every decision by himself and for all GM level managers, never listen to us, never hold a meeting with managers, change the org chart constantly without talking to us, then in four months, 8 out 10 GM/directors left the company, I was among the only two left, because of the same reason. And now, I’m in depression, hate my job, myself, don’t want to go to work…, I made the decision to leave so many times, and started to look for other opportunities, but always without luck, maybe I was not 100% sure if I really should leave, until two weeks ago I made up my mind to leave no matter I have a new option or not, and I injured my back. I’ve never seriously injured or sick before, so I never thought about my need for the medical insurance, and now that I’m injured and starting to pay thousands on my medical bill, I felt somewhat lucky to have that medical insurance and didn’t leave before I injured. I’m still on sick leave, my medical bills are still waiting to be submitted to the company, I might be able to turn them in and get reimbursed or not, but I do worry that without a job I won’t have the medical insurance, this sounds really silly to a person like me, but it does make me hesitate again. I guess the really problem is that I’m not comfident enough to get another job soon, especially a job that pays as well as this one and the position is at least not too much lower than this one. See, I’m almost depressed now.
Emma Said,
September 24, 2008 @ 10:39 pm
I quit my first job just shy of a year after I began. At the beginning, it was alright…the shifts were frequent and so were the raises. However, money was the only thing I enjoyed about that place. My co-workers weren’t bad, but I couldn’t really relate to any of them and I felt left out a lot of the time. After a few months of being there, the management changed from being friendly and accomodating to harsh and demanding.
I began to get that little “gut feeling” you spoke of when my manager and I got into these little arguments about shifts. The rule was if you let the manager know what days you wanted off a week in advance, you would get it off. I had asked for a specific day off two weeks in advance, yet discovered that I was scheduled to work that day. I spoke to my manager and all I got in return was accusatory remarks about how I never asked for them off in the first place. I told her that I had, she checked her books, then said yes I had followed the rule, however, I was still stuck working the shift. If I hadn’t stood up to her and said I’m not working that shift I would’ve been stuck working that day. Then it got worse.
One day I was physically assaulted at the workplace by a fellow employee. There were two witnesses…another employee in the break room, and the cameras. I wrote a note to the upper management and was assured the matter would be looked into. A week later, the “boss” of the company spoke to me and told me that no one saw what happened, and not one camera caught what happened. I have seen the cameras and where they point. Three different cameras would’ve seen the incident and the employee who I thought I could count on did not say anything. I decided to quit right then and there.
It is difficult to know when to quit, that’s for sure. Thankfully I had a defining moment that influenced me to make the right choice. I am now in a wonderful job with amazing people. I have learned that if you can’t relate to your coworkers, and you’ve tried for a very long time, you have to get out of there. It is the people that make the work enjoyable, and if they don’t like you, or vise versa, then your work and your emotional well-being suffers.
LAM Said,
November 10, 2008 @ 3:06 pm
I never thought I would have quit two jobs in a single year (and probably three) but that’s what hapenned. I had stayed in my first job post graduation for about one year. The work itself was alright, the boss not so much. She was the type that blocked creative thought, and in a web-design job, that, in addition to the 1 1/2 hour car commute each way just pretty much ruined it.
So I left for what I thought was a better – more open web-design environment. I found out that the new boss was a control freak, to the point that she had cameras in the office watching your every move, and would often spend too much time dabbling in your personal relationships. I left within three weeks (that one I did not even think too much about quitting). I then took a temp job, and within 2 months was offered a full time. I was excited, but it turns out that the job is a lot different than what I expected. I was happier as a temp than as a full timer. The result is that I hear that little voice again screaming out “time to go!”
Do I regret any of my decisions? NO WAY. The second job with the control freak made me have nightmares every night. I developed an ulcer, and my sleep patterns and self-esteem were shot to hell. At that time I did not have any money saved up, and it took me two months to find the temporary position. It was a bad time, but even then…even then..I breathed fresh air.
My advice – save as much money as you can through all your jobs, so you won’t have to put up with something because of money, and always have something else to carry your happiness (school, family, hobbies, goals, volunteering etc.) having a life outside of work makes you feel worthy of better things.
L
A happy-type post « Clambino’s Blog Said,
June 23, 2009 @ 1:00 am
[...] June 23, 2009 · Leave a Comment http://positivesharing.com/2007/06/find-your-quitting-point/ [...]
Vinayak Said,
July 3, 2009 @ 7:12 am
Hi,
Well here’s one guy who says “I should have stuck on to my earlier job”. I quit my job nearly two years back and at the moment (considering all the bad economy and side effects of the financial crisis) I do feel it was not such a great decision. The least I could have had was a relevant profile (unlike now where I feel underutilised)
Happiness at work Said,
August 12, 2009 @ 12:37 pm
[...] When is it Time to Leave a Bad Job? Find Your Quitting Point. [...]
Fizah Said,
August 13, 2009 @ 9:50 am
I’ve been contemplating to quit my job since June 08 but was told by family & close friends to secure another job first before taking the plunge. I’ve not secured another job yet & i’m miserable at my current company. It’s been a year now & I’m getting more miserable than before. I’ve tried playing my favourite songs, reorganized my desk, put on an aromatherapy, but nothing works. I was thinking of quitting & trying temping first before committing to a permenant position. Anyone can advice?
Irene Said,
August 17, 2009 @ 3:07 am
I’ve been working in my current company for 2.5 years. I’m working on a project, in which my team members are all busy doing their own routine jobs which have nothing to do with the project, and I’m the only concerned person in this company about it. I’ve communicated this to my boss, but there’s not much really that she can do as there are so many changes here at this moment. I’ve been thinking about quitting everyday for the last three months and I want to switch to a different career altogether. My family told me to finish this project first and maybe once I get a new project, my thoughts will change. I want to do just that, but I cannot foresee how I’m able to complete it as I’m the only person working on it. And I surely wish I do not have to be in this place in five years. I am confused and afraid to leave a job with good benefits and ok salary of which the only bad point is I don’t feel I contribute and belong, for a risky endeavor. Last night I’ve come to a decision to tender my resignation, provided I can secure a job first. I hope it will work for me!
Karen Said,
September 20, 2009 @ 9:13 am
I worked as a waitress in a chain pizza restaurant for a year and a half. It was my first job, which allowed me to move out of my parents’ house. I was eager to work; I often did more work than the others and in more detail. Though I did on occasion make stupid mistakes, the assistant managers often praised me for my work, and in my time there, i think only three staff members were ahead of me in senority (there was a very high turnover rate — warning #1). I got along well with everyone and, except for my hours, which were absolutely pitiful for the majority of my employment, I was happy.
As time went on, it became clearer and clearer that the owner (let’s call her Jennifer) hated me. In a sense, her harshness created a work ethic in me where I always work the hardest I can… but at the same time, it caused a huge amount of unneeded stress in my life. “If you have time to lean, you have time to clean” was the mantra. Every spare moment I had, I would search for something to do, particularly when Jennifer was on the clock. If I wasn’t busy at the precise moment Jennifer looked in my direction, I would be bombarded with a long lecture about how lazy I was, or i would have a new order barked in my face.
I became so nervous during the first few months, that I would feel physically sick on the drive to work. I was nervous. I was afraid of Jennifer. I didn’t want to deal with her.
But it was my first job, and I needed to make rent. Unfortunately, my rent was 250 dollars a month, and i wasn’t even making that pitiful amount. “Part time”, in Jennifer’s eyes, was 15 hours or less. If someone was working “full time”, they had 30 hours in a week. Only the managers had the benefit of 40-hour workweeks, effectively cutting everyone else out of any worthwhile health benefits and so forth.
Jennifer’s husband had a heart attack. She left the job for nearly 6 months, putting temporary managers in her place. My nervous panic went away.
Usually, I was scheduled for 2 or 3 four-hour shifts a week, answering phones and taking orders. I often asked for more hours, but it was never given when Jennifer was in control. One week, my hours were cut to the legal minimum, 3 for the week. I inquired about the abrupt change two weeks later, wanting to avoid a confrontation and thinking it’d been a minor fluke. The answer was “there are complaints about the quality of service”. I asked if they were about my service, directly — it was “everyone’s” fault.
But I was several hundred dollars in debt to my forgiving landlady and no one else was hiring. So I stayed with the pizza restaurant, making poverty wage.
When no one else was available to cover the shifts of the server who’d quit, I was immediately shuttled to 5 days a week because Jennifer had no other choice. I was finally making decent money and i was starting to pay off my rent. I started college and my hours were modified per my request.
Later, I noticed that my hours were being cut again. I didn’t want to confront her, so I let them slide… after all, I did need some time to study. When summer break came — an entire 5 weeks of time I could devote to the job came around, I gave two weeks notice and informed Jennifer I could come in “whenever she needed me”. The request was never honored.
Towards the end of my time at the restaurant, we got a call from someone wanting to know if we needed “counter help”. Knowing we’d just lost a few servers, I asked Jennifer to confirm. She looked me straight in the eyes and said, “yes, we need counter help”. This was when I was working only one day a week.
I quit two months later, when Jennifer took a week of vacation and an assistant manager who favored me did the schedule. I was assigned every day of the week, and because i was not used to the work load any more, by day four I found myself physically exhausted and worn down mentally and physically.
In addition to the sudden overwork, I grew tired of the complaints of spoiled food, poor salad bar quality, and the slow service that comes from a crew of people that hates the store manager and just don’t care about their job. There was the bribery with coupons and free food that was the standard response to complaints (when there really should have been policy changes made). I was told not to tell people to call the hotline if they had a complaint about the service. The final straw was the milk carton in the refrigerator that should have been good for (if I remember right) a month more, but still “tasted funny”.
Now the assistant manager is leaving and only four members of the staff I knew when I started remain. I am glad I left when I did, even though I was unemployed for three months. But I really should have left much, much sooner. I drive by the store every so often, and on a recent Friday night at 8 PM, when there should have been a good amount of leftover dinner rush, there were only one or two cars that didn’t belong to staff.
I feel sorry for my friends.
Kenneth Brown Said,
October 3, 2009 @ 11:03 am
Good Day,
I really need to resign from my present job and i need you to get me a polite resignation letter.
Thanks,
Kenneth
Drew Said,
October 14, 2009 @ 5:13 am
After 5.5 years at my job, a economy in the toilet and no job lined up I decided to quit. Yea it’s nerve wracking at the thought of not lining up a job. But this year so many signs have shown and it’s not till now that I have the money saved that I can quit.
Family and friends will tell me to stay, to that I say NO because they are not me and not working for my Boss after 5.5 years.
SeanG Said,
October 14, 2009 @ 1:54 pm
Drew,
I know how that feels. Good for you! And way to go saving yourself up a safety net (also called “fuck you money” ;). Best of luck!
Sam Said,
November 16, 2009 @ 11:32 am
I have been bullied, manipulated and hassled at work by someone for years, I dread coming in, my time off is ruined and I feel I cannot enjoy life any more as I am always wondering what I will come to work to find. Hundreds of abusive e-mails a day, and he even knows my address and has tried to get my phone number. I actually believe that he is mentally unstable.
I know I should leave, 100 % I know this, so why can’t I do it?! I think I am worried about money, I do have a lot of savings and my partner works, but I suppose I am just scared of the unknown. Especially in the current climate.
What do people think I should do, go for it?? I do not know how I am not ill with the stress I go through, I am living off adrenaline!
Can people give me some advice, maybe people who have been through the same? How much money should I have saved to be on the safe side? Help!
Enough excuse Said,
December 22, 2009 @ 1:30 am
Thankx, I think I give myself enough excuse of why NOT to quit. And yeah, I used up all the excuse. I tried all I can and all I can think of.
Niklas Said,
February 20, 2010 @ 8:46 pm
I just quit my job, and this is why
1. I asked for a better location to imrpove myself and the company, denied
2. I asked to be included in company training not even a response
3. I asked to be given a bigger budget to allow me to do more marketing events, not even responded
4. The marketing events which I did, I wasnt even paid for
5. I was in sales, the company would cancel a deal without me even knowing, then charge me for it on my next paycheck.
I quit without a second back up plan, but that’s ok! I’m out of the toxic environment.