Dealing with unpopular employees
Here’s a recent question from CNN Money:
One of my employees is pretty capable, but she lacks people skills. No one in the office likes dealing with her. Recently she called me at home at 9 P.M. on a Friday, crying and saying she was typing up her résumé because the entire staff was against her.
I listened, and then hinted that it wasn’t the time or place to discuss this. Now office tension is high. Can I tell this woman that, because she said she was updating her résumé, I assume she’s given notice?
(source)
That’s a good question but here’s an even better one: if that employee’s behavior is so bad and her social skills so atrocious, why hasn’t the manager reacted a long time ago? This is one of the most important things we have managers for – to make sure that counter-productive behavior in the workplaces is stopped.
I read an interesting quote the other day (though I’ve forgotten where) that said that any behavior by employees that is not stopped by management becomes de facto legal.
Bad behavior includes gossiping, badmouthing co-workers, constant negativity, unconstructive criticisms, bullying, not helping co-workers and not sharing information. If managers see this and do nothing – it’s now OK.
And it shouldn’t be!
One manager from a company I’ve worked with, took this responsibility seriously. One of his employees, a lady in her 50s who’s been with the company for many years, had become habitually negative.
She’d end most phone calls by slamming down the receiver and blurting “Idiot!” whether she’d been talking to a customer or a co-worker. She would criticize all suggestions and plans she was consulted on. Co-workers respected her knowledge and competence but didn’t dare ask her any questions because of her demeanor.
Finally the manager had a meeting with her. He explained exactly how he viewed her behavior and why it was making him and her co-workers unhappy at work. He then gave her the rest of the day off.
When she called in sick the next day, he was pretty sure he was going to lose that employee. She returned to work the day after and asked for a meeting with him. And this is when she amazed him.
She’d spent some time thinking about this and talking to her husband – and she’d come to agree that her behavior had become much too negative. The scary thing is that she hadn’t done any of this consciously – it had become a habit. One she now wanted to break.
She’s been working on it since and both the manager and her co-worker have noticed a marked shift in her behavior. So, by the way, has her husband.
This is exactly how managers should handle this type of situation. Employees who exhibit this type of bad behavior need attention and help to break out of it. If their behavior improves – excellent. Then it’s time to follow up and make sure the change is lasting. If it doesn’t help, then it’s time to fire that person.
Letting people stay in jobs where they don’t fit in, where they’re not happy and where they’re not pulling their weight is a mistake. Managers may think they’re doing them a favor… they’re not!
Remember, just one unhappy, unproductive employee can pull down the whole department. And what’s worse – this attitude is contagious. It spreads and infects others and if you’re not careful, you’ll end up with a hard-core little clique of dissatisfied, cynical employees who make everyone around them unhappy.
Your take
What do you think? Have you seen a manager take responsibility and address bad behavior in employees? Have you seen this behavior ignored and be allowed to spread?
Jenn S. Said,
March 28, 2008 @ 2:34 pm
Alex – great post! One question though – what do you do when it is the leaders of your department exhibiting constant negative and inappropriate behavior, that brings the whole team down, and isolates the department from the rest of the company?
Obviously, this is making myself and my co-workers unhappy in our work, and we’re seeking new opportunities, but is there anything to be done in the meantime?
This could be a great workplace, if our leaders understood their behavior’s consequences. Sadly, going to HR is not an option…the team in place before us did that, and all were fired/forced out by even worse boss behavior.
Jo Said,
March 28, 2008 @ 4:38 pm
Ah, yes. It’s amazing how doing the right thing works!
@Jenn S. This is tricky. I’d be the first to say it is very difficult to resolve these situations when you are dealing with some who is willing to use force against you and when you perceive the authority system as un-supportive. I’ll be interested in hearing the views and experiences of others.
Unless there is a strong reason to be in that place, you might be best served going elsewhere.
Having said that, let’s assume you cherish your organization and what it stands for. Would playing “what if” for a moment help? What if someone approached the boss (maybe someone who is leaving anyway and hasn’t resigned yet) and gently and supportively asked for change?
What if someone leaving approached the boss’ boss with resignation letter in hand and then gently and supportively asked for change?
And what other what if’s are there?
Do have a good weekend!
Hayden Tompkins Said,
March 28, 2008 @ 7:20 pm
You’ll have an ebb and flow of people who are liked or disliked, but when you have one person who is universally detested by everyone but those people who don’t have to work with them – then get them packing! They are the problem, hands down.
HR Wench Said,
March 28, 2008 @ 7:38 pm
“She’d end most phone calls by slamming down the receiver and blurting “Idiot!” ”
Whenever I get off the phone with, well, an idiot, I hit the button on my talking Napoleon Dynamite statue and he says “Friggin’ IDIOT!” for me. Well, either that or “Tina you fat lard come get some DINNER!”
This may be easier for me because I’m in HR…but I’m a fan of being very frank and up front with people in the workplace. I simply say, “You are often very negative. It is affecting other people’s work. Here are some specific examples…”. You would be amazed how many people don’t understand WHY others don’t like them or treat them a certain way. Cut the crap and be upfront. It is scary the first few times you do it, but the reward can be great. Or, of course, it can backfire. But if you have confidence in yourself, speak directly but professionally, you have nothing to fear from a GOOD employer. If you work for a bad employer and you get tossed on your ear for being open, problem solving, direct and not a doormat then screw ‘em. You didn’t want to work there anyway.
Anony Said,
March 28, 2008 @ 9:05 pm
Oh, Alex.
I have a staff member who has been with us about six months. She and the rest of my staff are all civil service employees. The rest are great, but this one exhibits many signs of Paranoid Personality Disorder. She interprets neutral behaviors as hostile and responds to that perceived hostility with her own hostility. She frequently threatens filing a grievance with her union because she is “clearly and blatently being singled out.” This is all in her own mind.
She has been given feedback about her attitude from two levels of management and from the H.R. department. She has been told that she needs to get along with her coworkers and let go of her harsh criticisms of them.
Meanwhile, she turns out a perfect product almost all the time. She is extremely detail-oriented. She is professional in appearance. Her attendance and punctuality are impeccable.
We are attempting to start a progressive discipline process with her, but H.R. laws are making it more and more difficult to separate an employee like this, especially since her objective work performance tends to be above reproach. Of course she makes mistakes, but rarely anything worse than anyone else might do. She just responds with great aggitation when corrected and even greater aggitation when confronted by others’ errors.
Now I think I understand why hell and chains have such a close relationship!
Rubymac Said,
March 28, 2008 @ 9:06 pm
Great post! And I’ve been where Jenn S. has been; a manager whose behaviour is bad, a situation made worse because it encouraged other staff to behave badly. We figured out a way to reform the complainers, but it took time and a lot of effort. As for the manager, only the board could deal with him and they wouldn’t. It’s one of the reasons I’m not there today.
David Sandusky Said,
March 30, 2008 @ 1:00 am
Goes without saying that the unpopular person in the room may be the most uncomfortable. Do them a favor with integrity and honest. There is a fit for everyone, just not here “anymore”. “Anymore” refers to the assumption a solid recruiting process and communication of the culture brand is in place.
It is amazing to see how positive this kind of change reflect on everyone and contributes to trust in leadership.
Karl Staib - Your Work Happiness Matters Said,
March 30, 2008 @ 6:24 am
I’ve seen upper management keep a lazy employee around because they liked him personally. It killed the morale of the whole team. It still shocks me to think that nothing was done. The lousy manager actually left for another job and it looked like fifty pound weights were lifted off his entire staff. They smiled, held their head up and actually took better care of the customer.
I took notes on the whole situation and intend on writing a blog post about it in the near future.
Mike Hoffman Said,
March 30, 2008 @ 4:45 pm
I think you and Bob Sutton have explored this at length: productivity or good work quality does not outweigh the negative effects of keeping around a person who is a negative drag on those around them.
The sad part is that people still find themselves in positions where they see this occur and managers are still questioning whether its worth it to keep these people around.
Yehuda Said,
March 30, 2008 @ 8:48 pm
Every worker dislikes what she is doing sooner or later. Have you read waitterant.com or http://www.philalawyer.net? Every job becomes that same old thing, day after day after a while. How do you solve that? Nobody can solve it is my suspicion.
Ryan Said,
March 31, 2008 @ 1:58 am
Ah yes, great. My biggest leadership mistake was continuing for months to try to find a successful role for an employee who brought down (and slowed down) the people around him. This was a major lesson-learned for me: Firing him increased team productivity AND happiness. And, he landed in a better situation, where he’s now a happy camper. I was afraid to fire him because I thought he’d be crushed. Turns out, he was relieved and grateful. And everyone involved was better off.
Lostproc Said,
March 31, 2008 @ 10:10 pm
Alex,
Generally true observation – but a slippery slope used by management to curtail opposing opinions – i.e. “Don’t be so negative” even though managements expectations of the situation are completely out of line with reality. I was one a project that mid management swore up and down to senior management could be done in 6 months when the team knew that was impossible and 10-12 months would be more realistic. If management heard us griping about it we would be “counseled” 1 on 1 about “not having team spirit” or “being a team player”. Turns out we (who worked hard anyway) we’re right and mid-management was sacked for bungling the project so badly.
Dale Paulson, Ph.D Said,
April 1, 2008 @ 10:13 pm
Alex, I very much appreciate your article. You cited several behaviors related to jerkdom: gossiping, badmouthing co-workers, constant negativity, unconstructive criticisms, bullying, not helping co-workers and not sharing information.
My own research indicates that as many as 1 in 20 employees exhibit these behaviors. This behavior is related to certain attitudes such as vindictiveness, entitlement, being judgemental or adversarial. These attitudes, when they are held in the extreme are related to disruptive workplace behavior. Fortunately they can be measured before someone is hired.
No one should have to put up with workplace abuse.
Dale Paulson, Ph.D.
http://www.workplaceattitudes.blogspot.com
Ask M Said,
April 2, 2008 @ 4:09 pm
I used to work in a lovely relaxed workplace… one day I was late back from lunch and my boss said, “Don’t worry – we don’t clock-watch here” and when he found me working late that night to make the time up, he shooed me out.
Unfortunately that kindness was taken advantage of by a colleague who would come in late, leave early, and take sick leave if she had to take her cat to the vet.
Instead of taking this one lady on one side and telling her kindly but firmly to pull her socks up, the bosses sent round a memo to all of us – tightening the rules.
The lovely relaxed atmosphere went down the tubes. People were unhappy and the office became a toxic place instead of a happy one.
The lazy team member eventually left – but the damage had been done.
Moral – nip staff problems in the bud early and make sure you address the troublemaker direct – don’t splatter the rest of the team with mud!
M
Jacob Johansen Said,
April 8, 2008 @ 4:57 am
Quote: “…if that employee’s behavior is so bad and her social skills so atrocious, why hasn’t the manager reacted a long time ago?”
Perhaps that behavior is being stimulated by bad leadership. Tension and strong pressure at the leadership level, without any EQ, can certainly bring out the worst in your workforce.
It may not be the employees you always need to fire, but rather the boss instead.
I Boll Said,
June 6, 2008 @ 8:17 pm
“One of my employees is pretty capable, but she lacks people skills. No one in the office likes dealing with her. Recently she called me at home at 9 P.M. on a Friday, crying and saying she was typing up her résumé because the entire staff was against her.
I listened, and then hinted that it wasn’t the time or place to discuss this. Now office tension is high. Can I tell this woman that, because she said she was updating her résumé, I assume she’s given notice?”
What if you are the one that most of the office leaves out of socializing and you know for a fact that you have been the target of gossiping, badmouthing, and you have been overlooked in the dissemination of important information needed to do your job well and advance — if this woman was actually crying, it is pretty cruel to turn around and try to imply she gave notice just because she updated her resume (PS. I always have an updated resume visible in my office, it means nothing from my end.) I have tried to get feedback from management several times as to why I am left out (not by calling them at home and crying, though, but by having a calm one-on-one meeting), and I get zero response, just pat phrases like, “Oh, everyone says you are nice and an asset to the department.” Then “everyone” proceeds to once again not invite me to Happy Hour, not speak to me all day at work, not include me in informal spontaneous hallway chats where you find out what is really going on with everyone — yes, I have tried to be assertive a million times and join in, the last time, of the 4 people chatting, 2 of them turned and left the minute I walked up to the group.
What’s my point? That management should not condone the negative behaviors, and should be honest with the employee involved about why things are the way they are, because believe me, the “problem” employee may not know why they have been left out of the team.
KSGarvin Said,
July 28, 2008 @ 9:16 pm
This describes my workplace, where an unfriendly coworker has single-handedly managed to split our department’s group of 6 people straight down the middle. The manager goes into her office. Other people in the company have confided to me that they are afraid to approach this employee with problems related to work — but they really need to tell the manager this! But, alas, management is more interested in hiding behind their doors and listening to their ipods, where they can pretend not to see or hear problems. So yes, the problems fester and get worse.
g.s. graves Said,
July 29, 2008 @ 4:20 am
I turned down a Plant Manager(1) position, to continue working as a manager in my department. Another employee (2) was moved up to also be a manager in another department. As I worked my butt off every day i noticed 1 and 2 hiring others and overspending to cover all problems and not really doing much of anything but overspend. After 7 years, i was forced into the plant manager position and inherited #2 (1 was moved to another location)..tried working with him to get back to working etc. but ended up on the floor myself with his employees. After confronting him one last time after 10 months, he went to owner and quit because he said i’m a terrible manager (even after saving the company over a million in the 10 months) He totally refuses to work with me or anyone else for that matter. Owner let him go..he is now seeking legal help and wanting to sue the company with the help of ex-plant manager..these two were ignored for so long and now are my problem…any suggestions?
g.s. graves Said,
July 29, 2008 @ 4:28 am
I’d also like to ad that alot of the things that people write here..calling a manager abusive etc. was told to me but only by the person who refused to actually work..The lazy would point at me when I would get after them to carry their own weight and actually work to earn their money..I have no problems with any other employees
Fired And Freaked Out Said,
August 8, 2008 @ 9:25 am
I was unhappy where I worked. It was a high pressured sales position in an enviornment that was truly insulting, condesending combative, always unstable and fairly unpredictable. The funny thing is, I expected this kind of behavior from jealous co workers, however, the behavior came from my managers.
I just ended my first year in this industry / product line, was the number one sales person (youngest by three years on the floor) for the month and I was fired. I was fired because they sensored an email that I had sent to another company asking if they had any sales postions open. I had not sent out any resumes etc. I was on their web site looking at them as my competitor and wanted to know how sales was going for them. Whatever……this was the reason they gave.
The real reason came down to the fact that when one of my managers yelled at me, after she made one of my customers cry….literally cry….I yelled back. This was the first time that I took my power back and told her to stop, I told her she was mean and completely out of line.
I have complained about her snide, cruel, condensending behavior, constant f this and f that, bi-polar super sweet one minute, throwing your files at you the next, complaining loudly about this person or that person, gossiping and trying to embarress or humiliate people, and then switching over and acting really helpful, and fun, buying lunch etc.
The answers I would get when I would just get so sick of it and complain to my other managers they would say, and I quote, “you don’t want to go there”, “thats not a bridge you want to burn”, and “I know….thats just the way she is, you have to figure it out”.
I am glad that I do not work there anymore. However, I have never been fired before. I am crushed, and cannot seem to come to terms with the fact that even though I did a great job at the job I was hired for, my customers loved me, and my co-workers became really good friends, I was fired.