Along with my book Happy Hour is 9 to 5 (which you can buy here or read for free here) I released a workbook with an accompanying set of exercises.

A while back one reader downloaded the workbook, tried the exercises and wrote this comment:

I happened upon your site today but feel absolutely compelled to write you. I read your site for about 2 hours today. I don’t even know where to begin…I worked in a field I loved for years. Started a family and then money became the driver. That has been the worst mistake of my life. I went from a field I loved to the exact opposite just to chase the bigger dollars.

My current field is terribly stressful…I have gained over 100 lbs. and now suffer from insomnia, headaches, and extreme fatigue. All along I thought it was due to the stress of this job (this is my 3rd one in this field with the same stress/frustration) but now I realize through doing the activity in your workbook that it is not this “job” but the career field as a whole. It is an awful fit…I’m a creative/writing/social type and now work in accounting with nothing but numbers all day.

I haven’t even finished the first exercise and already I’m in tears realizing that I have got to give up this job. I can make a decent income in my preferred field but have let fear (of failure and maybe success too) and loss of money (worried to death about not being able to help provide for my family) keep me trapped for literally 6 years.

I am not even 33 yet…but I suffer from all sorts of stress related illnesses, don’t go out with my girlfriends, or even enjoy hobbies anymore…just because I traded a great career for money. Your workbook has encouraged me to make this transition my top career goal. Thank you for making this resource available you have literally helped save my life!

BTW, the most profound thing I learned in the very first exercise is that I used to take better care of myself when my work was more in-line with my personal values. I never connected those dots before!

I think that is a profound insight: That we take better care of ourselves when we are happy.

It also got me to thinking that the great fallacy in all health-, diet- and weight loss programs may be the very idea that if I eat right, exercise and lose weight then I will be happy, when in fact it may be the other way around: If I become happy, I will treat myself better and have the energy to eat well and exercise.

Have you noticed this in yourself?

I’m going to Guatemala in July to speak about happiness at work to the Guatemalan Human Resources Management Association.

They are currently looking for sponsors for the speech. The director writes:

To this conference we invite a lot of H.R. Managers from all over the region, and has a good attendance for brand awareness or public image, but we need sponsors to cover your fee and trip expenses.

We are looking for them here, but some times our speakers helped us with that. If you know some one that could be interested in the sponsorship to cover your presence we will appreciate it a lot, and we will contact them in order to arrange everything, what we offer or if they want some special arrangement.

So my question to you is: Do you know any organizations in or around Guatemala who would like to help sponsor my trip and keynote?

Let me know if you do or if you know anyone who might.

I did a similar thing when I spoke in India a while back. Tata (India’s biggest private company) sponsored the trip and in addition to speaking at the conference I also did two workshops for groups of managers.

This may not be the most noble reason to practice forgiveness:

… but it works for me :o)

I often think that if there’s one area that could use some happiness at work, it’s politics. I’d like to see more politicians who are not afraid to be optimistic, happy, cheerful, nice and friendly.

Well, here’s one who is:

Not only is Mayor Hazel McCallionhappy of the City of Mississauga in Canada happy at work, she is also 88 years old, has been elected 11 times, has a 91% approval rating AND has kept her city debt-free.

I think happiness is a powerful force in politics – it may even have been what got Obama elected president over McCain.

What about you – do you know any other examples of happy politicians?

Thx to Guilla for mentioning this fantastic video.

Two weeks ago I got a question from Mark in a comment, that began with these words:

My job has been literally killing my soul for the past 3 years. I have known this entire time I needed to leave. But I didn’t realize how seriously I was burning out, and now I feel like I am being pushed over the edge.

I have drank every night for the past three months. I am acerbic, aggressive and emotionally closed off. I hate the people I serve so much I cuss and spit when I have to see them. I have secondary trauma and can no longer sleep without medication. It is not possible to hate your job more than I do.

I passed the question on to all of you, and more than 25 people have taken the time to offer Mark ideas, thoughts or sympathy.

Well, Mark read your input, and here’s his reply:

Well what a response. You guys are something else… you are really so helpful I am kind of taken aback. My thanks to Alex for posting this… I was reticent at first but can take a lot from what everyone offered from their own life experiences. I don’t want to share too many details, for the sake of not being compromised at work, but I work in the helping field and have simply excessively burned out. This kind of help is something the Internet does best: allow people to share their deeply personal experiences in a generally anonymous manner.

Anyways, just to follow up, I went on a vacation and got some perspective re: having a choice as to whether I had to put up with this misery at work. I remembered that I do have a choice, which I had forgotten in all of my progressive unhappiness. To relate it back to the goal of this blog/website, I also realized that I had very high expectations for myself and my life that had become toxic; I was expecting things from myself that were based on comparisons to others and how I perceived my life trajectory should be. I was finding that the success train was not coming “on schedule” and I was internalizing failure based on my measuring myself up to others. This was a recipe for depression and for feeling like a victim.

Now, I still have to get out of this job. I am in a temporary good place because I see now, and with the help of you all’s input, that I can leave at any time (it’s staggering how I could have forgotten this). I have applied to the most menial of jobs (won’t say where for anonymity reasons) because I have accepted that it’s just life, not to be taken so seriously, and that sometimes you have to just do what you need to and forget how you think you might measure up to others

If my menial job options don’t come through -and maybe I’m saying menial when I have no right to- I will quit and force my own hand. I have family and friends to fall back on and do have options. I just need to remember that.

Anyways, this has gone on too long about myself. I do have the support of a counselor and I do exercise regularly. I am actually quite healthy aside from the job and drinking too much in response to it. But I will put some of your suggestions into practice and and very grateful for your input. Thanks so much for offering up your experience to me. And Alex, thanks for the website.

Mark

I was struck by two things in all of this: First of all, how deeply it affects us when we hate our jobs. It colors every aspect of our lives. I know, I’ve tried it. And secondly, how many people could relate because they’ve been there.

Thanks to everyone who contributed!

How do you uncover a person’s true character in a job interview? When people know they’re being evaluated, they of course put on their best behavior and play nice. But are they really? You can ask them what they’re like, but will they tell the truth?

Here’s a fun way to uncover an applicant’s character that I found in a comment thread over on reddit.com. It involves a serious game of Jenga:

Where I work, we do our best to weed out the unhappy and cynical employees before they even get hired. Coworkers who are constantly cynical and unhappy are absolutely terrible for morale, and we do whatever we can to avoid it both before and after hiring.

After each candidate goes through his/her well-rehearsed and pre-meditated interviews with HR and management, the entire engineering team (small company) comes into the room, closes the door, and starts a game of Jenga like it’s no big deal. Meanwhile, we strike up a casual conversation with the candidate and insist s/he play with us.

Without fail, the candidates true colors are almost immediately revealed. Candidate scoffs at the idea of playing a game in an interview? Obviously too uptight for our group and not capable of handling rapidly changing situations. Focusing on Jenga also takes the candidate’s mind off of all of the pre-meditated answers and pages of ‘interview tips’ articles that we’ve all read at one point or another. The trick is to treat the game of Jenga like it’s serious business so the candidate follows suit and forgets about the formalities of the interview and whatever persona s/he is trying to craft for the interviewers. If the person can discuss intense technical topics without breaking a sweat while playing Jenga, then s/he likely knows the subject matter pretty well.

Works every time. We end up with engineers who get along, think on their feet, are laid back, and known their stuff.

I like it. It reminds me of this great story from Hal Rosenbluth’s book The Customer Comes Second:

CEO Hal Rosenbluth was once about to hire an executive with all the right skills, the right personality and the perfect CV. His interviews went swimmingly and he’d said all the right things, but something about him still made Rosenbluth nervous, though he couldn’t put his finger on just what it was.

His solution was brilliant: He invited the applicant to a company softball game, and here he showed his true colors. He was competitive to the point of being manic. He abused and yelled at both the opponents and his own team. He cursed the referees and kicked up dirt like a major league player.

And he did not get the job.

I absolutely agree that no workplace should tolerate jerks and the best time to weed them out is before they’re ever hired. Playing games is just one way to make people forget themselves enough to show who they really are.

Your take

What do you think? Does your workplace do something similar? Have you tried something like this in a job interview?

Related posts

• The No Asshole Rule.
• How do you hire happy managers?
• Top 5 reasons why most team building events are a waste of time.